


Different Paths to Destiny

by luckandillusions



Series: Different Paths To Destiny [1]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Family, Family Drama, Friendship/Love, Romance, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-08-04
Updated: 2017-09-30
Packaged: 2017-11-11 09:38:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 70,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/477134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luckandillusions/pseuds/luckandillusions
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Amina was raised by the Starks, knowing her whole life exactly what was planned for her future. As far as she knows she's the last Targaryen, a bloodline full of power. But all Amina really wants is to carve out her own destiny.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Running With Wolves

_"[ welcome to your life, ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BvpMKIvLS34)_  
_[ there's no turning back ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BvpMKIvLS34) "_

This is the story of a newborn princess, with snow white hair and bright blue eyes. The story of a little girl who was ripped from her family to save her life. This is my story, the story of Amina Targaryen.

I was found in King's Landing a week after I was born. Soldiers murdered my parents and my siblings. I'm told they deserved it, and everyone knows the stories of the Mad King. Eddard Stark found me, my crib had been knocked over and he was surprised the fall hadn't killed me. He should've broken my neck the moment he realized I was still breathing, but he didn't. Instead he hid me away and took me back to Winterfell.

Catelyn took me in, what else could she do but help a tiny orphaned baby. She covered my hair with paste that turned my snowy white locks a deep brow. No one ever had to know what house I belonged to. If anyone asked Ned told them I was an orphan of the war, no home, no family, it was true after all.

The Starks were the only family I had ever known. I was only a few months younger than their eldest son, Robb. It was decided early that we were to be married. I thought of the Stark children as my siblings, through thick or thin. But years with only Robb, Jon, and Theon Greyjoy made me tougher than your average Lady. For this reason, Sansa and I butted heads over everything. When Arya came along, she became my little shadow.

I'm not sure there's a point in me writing down my story. I suppose I just want it to be told, even if no one ever reads it. Maybe it will have a happy ending, like all Sansa's storybooks. Or maybe it won't. Only the Gods know. I'll just have to tell it anyway, and see where it leads.

* * *

_"[but we're running out of time...](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06ht9MyJLT4)"_

"Jon, stop it!" I squealed as he came at me again. I was furiously ticklish and I hated it when anyone tried to touch my stomach, I got quite violent about it. I kicked at him and tried to claw him, but he knew me to well and quickly immobilized my arms. My kicks were feeble at best and soon I was knocked to the ground.

"Promise you won't sneak off like that again and I'll stop."

"No promises!" I squealed trying to roll away.

"Ami," he said warningly.

I glared at him. "How many times have I told you not to call me that?"

"About a million, doesn't mean I'm going to stop. Plus, Ami is cute." He smiled and kissed me on the nose.

"No, Ami makes me sound like a child. I'm almost an adult," I mumbled rolling away from him. "And don't forget I'm the last dragon. I could burn your face off."

He laughed. "I dare you to try. Even if you were a dragon, what good would that do? You tell anyone that and they'd think you were crazy. Or they'd send you away. You'd be more of an outcast than me." Jon gave me a cautioning look. I'd come to know it well over the years. I was always doing something stupid, and he was always giving me that look.

"But it's still my birthright! I should have a crown and a throne. I'm supposed to rule." I picked up the chain of flowers I had been twisting before I was so rudely interrupted.

"You will rule."

"I'll rule the North. Lady of Winterfell, not exactly the same title."

"It's not all that bad is it?" He asked teasingly.

"It's terrible. Yes, I love Robb." I watched as Jon's face fell a bit and I poked him with my boot. "I love Robb, as a brother! I have no interested in being Amina Stark." I rolled over and stared up at the trees. "Amina Snow sounds nice, and it matches my hair." I twisted a strand of faded brown hair around my finger, it needed another dye. Catelyn would be angry if she noticed how light it had gotten. But I hated dying my hair, it made it smell for a week.

"It does have a certain ring to it doesn't it?" Jon leaned over and kissed me again, this time on my lips. I pressed my forehead to his and ran my fingers through his dark black curls. I smiled and he smiled back. His smile lit up his eyes, making them shine like stars. I would be perfectly content to stay right here in the woods, staring into Jon's eyes. But unfortunately, I had other obligations. "We have to get you back inside."

"I'd rather not."

"Catelyn sent me to find you. She'll be worried if we don't come back soon. You had me scared this time, I thought you'd run away without me."

"I'd never," I promised. "You know what I'd do?"

"What?"

I shook my head. "Never mind, it's silly."

"Tell me," he pressed. His fingers brushed my neck sending chills down my spine.

"If I could truly harness the power of my ancestors, become the dragon...I'd be queen. It wouldn't matter what anyone else said, I'd marry you."

"You wouldn't," he said shaking his head.

"I would," I insisted. "We could live in King's Landing. Some say it's the prettiest place in the whole Seven Kingdoms. Do you think Catelyn and Ned would hate me though? Without them I'd be nothing, less than nothing. I'd be dead. I'd let them have whatever they wanted. They could live in the Red Keep, or be King and Queen in the North."

"They couldn't hate you. You're their daughter."

"They'd hate me. I'm a Targaryen, everyone hates us." Jon wrapped me in his arms and I relaxed enjoying the moment, knowing it would have to end soon. "I think I'd make a good queen. I'm not crazy, not like Aerys. I'd be kind, and generous. I'd help the smallfolk as best I could. People would like me once they got past my bloodline." I shook my head. "But that's just it, no one can ever look past bloodlines. You're born in the house you're born in, or you're a bastard, or you have no house at all. It's all so suffocating. I have to go on living this lie. I'll be Amina Winterfell, until the day I become Amina Stark."

"You're lucky. A hundred other girls would die to be in your shoes."

"I'd gladly hand them over. I'd rather be a peasant than a Lady, as long as it meant I got to be with you." I kissed him again.

"Jon!" Catelyn called. "Did you find her? I see you sitting over there, is she hurt? Don't tell me she fell out of a tree again. Should I call the nurse?"

I sighed and got up. "I'm fine, Catelyn!"

Catelyn tore through the trees till she reached us. She wrapped me in a big hug and squeezed me tightly. "You scared me to death, I was sure someone kidnapped you."

"You shouldn't worry about me so much. You know I like adventure," I said smiling.

She grabbed a handful of my hair. "You're letting your hair fade too much. Come inside, there's still time to set your hair before dinner." I groaned but followed her towards her rooms. "That will be all, Jon."

I glanced at him once before being tugged inside for more torture. He gave me a wave, which wasn't the least bit reassuring. I made a face at him as Catelyn closed the door in his face.

* * *

That evening, King Robert's family would arrive from the capital. I was told Ned's younger brother, Benjen, would be making an appearance as well. Benjen rarely came to visit, it had been years since we'd seen him last. He was a Ranger in the Night's Watch, and was quite difficult for him to return to Winterfell even for a few days.

After my hair set for ages, it was washed three times with Catelyn's finest soaps and brushed till it shined. To my surprise, the smell was hardly noticeable. The handmaids finished with a sprits of rose perfume, and you'd never even know I used dye. I made a mental note to steal her soaps the next time I had to dye my hair. My handmaidens helped me dress in a beautiful gown I'd been saving for this occasion.

The crown family coming to visit wasn't an event to be taken lightly. The entire household had been in an uproar for weeks trying to prepare for the arrival of the king and his family. I was only excited because there would be a feast. Sansa, however, was dying to meet the young prince. Maybe she would be his queen one day. I just hoped the evening would be over quickly so I could take a nap and go back to eating sweets.

I peered out my window into the courtyard. Jon was below, practicing with his sword. I was surprised to see him dressed so casually. I'd just spent the afternoon being poked and prodded into pristine condition. I gathered my skirts and hurried downstairs. "Jon!" I called. He turned at the sound of my voice and put down his sword. I motioned for him to join me around the corner of the building, away from prying eyes. "What are you doing playing? Don't you need to be dressing for dinner?"

"I'm not invited," he said simply.

"Don't be ridiculous," I laughed.

"Catelyn didn't think it was appropriate for a bastard to be eating dinner with the King."

"You're as much a part of this family as I am!"

"You're the future Lady of Winterfell. I'm just Jon Snow, the bastard son." He played with the lace on my sleeve. "You look beautiful." He smiled, but it didn't quite touch his eyes this time as it had in the woods earlier. I reached up and tangled my fingers in his hair again and just stared into his eyes.

"Eventually we'll be free, you and me," I said quietly.

"I hope so," Jon said.

"We will be, I can feel it."

He leaned me against the walls and kissed me. "Shh." I wasn't hard to be quiet, especially when there were other things to preoccupy my mouth with. The sound of carriages interrupted us and I groaned. "Go, they need you out there.

"They just want a good show. They don't want anything to infringe on their perfect little view of the world. Aren't all royals just the same?"

"All but you."

I kissed him once more, then slipped around the corner. The other members of the household were lined up, waiting to greet the crown family. "Ah, there you are, Amina." Ned took my hand and smiled at me warmly. "This is my future daughter in law, the future Lady of Winterfell."

Robert Baratheon took my hand and kissed it. "As lovely as a blue winter rose. You were just a tiny thing the last time I saw you, good to see you've grown up well." He stepped past me to Robb, and patted his shoulder. "You're a lucky man. Of all the girls your father could have chosen, and he picked this one."

"Wedding preparations will be under way soon," Ned said smiling. "You and your family will be invited, of course."

"I wouldn't miss it for the world. You'll make a beautiful bride, Amina. You might even rival my Cersei."

Robb looked at me and smiled. His smile was as dazzling as always, but his eyes were full of blind adoration. It hadn't always been that way. There was a time when he didn't see me as some prized vase that he had to handle carefully. I hated that he thought I was so fragile. I may have been a Southerner by blood, but I had the tough skin of a Northerner. I was stronger than he gave me credit for, I always had been. After all, I had been raised a Stark.

"Well then, shouldn't we be getting to the feast?" Robert asked with a hearty laugh.

Robb grabbed my hand and I accepted. Just give them a good show, Ami, that's all they want.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out the Ned & Catelyn companion chapter in Different Lives, Different Destinies


	2. Childhood's End

"[our fate is sealed](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05gZ4lYi-Ho)  
[at birth we made a deal](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05gZ4lYi-Ho)"

The Baratheons had been in Winterfell for sometime. Their stay was almost over, they would be returning to the capital with Ned as Hand to the King. The night before their departure, I found a tiny black ribbon tied around my rose perfume. The ribbon had been mine and Jon's signal to meet for years.

My handmaidens helped me undress and get into my sleeping clothes. I waited till I was sure everyone was gone before I snuck out to meet him. He was in our spot, under the thick coverage of trees. I could barely see him in the dark and was beginning to wish I had brought a candle.

"There you are," he said turning to face me. His eyes looked sad. The smile on his lips was like a ghost.

"What's wrong?" I asked him. I noticed he was still wearing his day clothes. "Haven't you gotten changed yet?"

"I've been packing." Something sounded off about his voice. It was hollow and emotionless.

"Packing? Are you going somewhere?" He was quiet and I bounced on my heels getting more and more anxious. "Jon, what's going on?"

"I'm leaving Winterfell."

"What?" I furrowed my brow, genuinely confused.

"I'm going with my uncle to the Wall."

"The Wall," I repeated. A million thoughts ran through my brain, trying to find a scenario where this didn't end badly. I could not imagine Winterfell without Jon. I loved my family, but I would never truly be one of them. Jon was the only person who understood that. We had found a sense of belonging in each other.

"I'm going to join the Night's Watch." His voice still sounded so distant and hollow. I wanted to believe he was playing a trick. If it was a joke, it was a terrible one. But, I would forgive him the moment he cracked a smile.

"No," was all I could manage. It didn't even begin to cover how I felt.

"There's nothing left for me here, Ami." His voice cracked when he used my nickname. For a moment, he sounded like himself again. He was holding back tears. It hit me that this wasn't a cruel joke, it was worse. He was actually leaving me.

I grabbed his hands. "I'm here!"

"You heard Ned, wedding preparations will begin soon. Before you know it, you'll be married to Robb. You will have new responsibilities. Catelyn will start preparing you for the day you are Lady of Winterfell."

"I don't want that, I've never wanted that! It can be different."

"How, Amina? You'll marry him, but be with me? The bastard son produces more bastards?"

"I won't marry Robb. We can run away together!" I was on the verge of tears, but I didn't want to cry. I could not bare to let him see me breakdown. I needed to be strong.

He shook his head. "You've said that for years, but if you meant it we would have run away ages ago. This is your world, Ami. I'm trying to protect you."

"I do not want protection! I want something more than this life. I cannot stand to be locked in this world forever, you know that. Please, Jon, I love you."

"I love you too, that's why I'm doing this. Marry Robb, be happy. You deserve to be happy."

"I'll never be happy without you." Finally the tears that had filled my eyes, spilled over onto my cheeks. I wiped at my face furiously, hoping they'd stop. But it seemed that once they'd started, there was no slowing them. Jon reached up and wiped my face with his thumb. He held my head in his hands, and I put my hand on top of his. "Please don't go."

He kissed me. I wrapped my arms around his neck, vowing to never let him go. It was childish, but I convinced myself that if I held on and refused to remove myself, he'd have to stay. The was an urgency in his kisses I'd never felt before. It was as if he was trying to commit every detail to memory, like he'd never see me again.

Looking back, I wish that I had done the same. I wished I could have memorized the glint in his eyes, and the way his kisses made me feel. But I didn't want to remember him like this. I wanted to remember the happy, carefree boy he was just this morning. I wanted to remember the way his eyes would light up when he smiled. Or the way he'd bite his lip when he was trying not to laugh at me. I wanted to remember rolling around under the trees, giggling and fighting. Or the way he looked at me with a half pout when I'd done something I shouldn't have. There were so many things I never wanted to forget. I never wanted there to even be a possibility that I would forget. But he was leaving, and memories didn't last forever.

"I have to go," he whispered. He held me then, just the two of us standing in the most beautiful part of the woods. Me with tears streaming down my face and him with no light left in his eyes. I wasn't sure we'd ever been a better pair than at that moment. Two heartbroken, vulnerable kids, wishing the moment would never end. But then he stepped away.

He didn't look back until he was almost at the tree line. He mouthed words I could barely make out in the dark. "I love you." I sank down against the tree, and cried until there were no tears left.

I wasn't sure how long I'd been there, but eventually the sun came up. I could hear horses and carriages leaving the gates, just past the trees. I didn't bother getting up, I had already said my goodbyes.

It wasn't until later that I thought about the sky. It had been dark that night, so black you could barely see your hands in front of your face. The moon and stars had been covered by clouds. It was just as empty as Jon's eyes. In a sad way, it was fitting. Even the skies were in mourning.

* * *

My fingers traced over the last entry in my little leather bound book. The page was a bit puckered from my tears that had fallen on it while I'd written the words. It was silly that I hadn't opened the book since that night. I hadn't written a single word about Bran's accident, or the war, or Ned's execution, or the girls. I hadn't cried since that night either, even though everything had fallen apart. My family had needed me to be strong, and so I had. That was why I was here now, on the front lines of battle, instead of safe at home in Winterfell. Robb had finally realized I wasn't as fragile as he'd once thought. But it was too late.

If I couldn't be happy, the least I could do was be free. Each day was another step closer to revenge. Strength was in my blood, and my upbringing. I had nothing to lose by myself.

I took out a pen and began to write, skipping right to today. One day they would tell stories about me, and I wanted them to be good ones. Nothing from the past year would be considered good. Here's hoping for a change in the future.

* * *

I walked across camp to the outskirts where we kept our prisoner. I stopped on the way to fill a cup with water. I nodded to the guards as they let me pass. Jaime Lannister looked up.

"If it isn't the Queen in the North herself," Jaime said with a grin. How he managed to stay his charming self, despite being tied to a post, was beyond me. "Oh, I forgot. You haven't actually married him yet, have you?"

"There have been a handful of other things on our mind. Not the least of which was the execution of Eddard Stark. Your son did chop off his head."

"You make it sound like it's my fault," he said with mock hurt.

"Do you want this water, or not?" I asked. I tried to refrain from doing something that I'd claim to regret later. Though, if I did hit him, he'd deserve it.

"Why haven't you married him yet? He loves you, does he not?"

"I'm not getting married on the front lines of a war," I said flatly. "What do you know about love anyway?"

"I know more than you think, little queen."

"You honestly expect me to believe you love Cersei?"

"Believe what you want." He shrugged. "Are you going to let me drink, or are you just going to hold it?"

I lowered the cup to his lips, but before he took a sip he launched into another sentence. The water spilled down his shirt and I scowled at him. "If Robb were to lose, and you were to be taken hostage. Anyone could steal you away. Maybe I'd do it. You would have that even more than you hate being betrothed to Robb."

"I don't hate-" I started to protest.

"There's another man isn't there?"

"Honestly, Jaime! Are you going to drink this or-"

"Let me see, if I had to take a guess...Not the young Lord Greyjoy, he inherited his fathers charms." He smirked. "I'd have to say the bastard."

"I have nothing to prove to you."

He laughed. "Right on the first guess!" Finally, I turned to leave. It was a mistake to thing I'd get anything out of him but taunts. "Lots of men would die for your hand. If they knew who you really were, the line would be a league long."

"What do you know about that?" I asked carefully. I turned slowly back toward him.

"The King liked to talk, I like to listen."

"I never cared much to talk. Drink this," I said, shoving the cup in his face. This time I managed to get a bit in his mouth, but a great deal just sloshed out on his face.

"I never understood why my father let you live. Robert I understood, he was always an imbecile. I suppose he never thought the Starks would dare raise you to take the throne. Why would they after they fought to put Robert there? But, yet, here you are." I tossed the cup at him as I turned away. "You aren't the only one, you know."

I stopped in my tracks. Could he be telling the truth? Jaime made a life out of being terribly charming. He was known for his dishonor, and his lopsided smile. I couldn't let myself entertain an idea so outrageous. Especially not when it came from a pretty mouth like his.

* * *

 I sat in my tent brushing my hair. Even with the color I had to put in once a month, it was still long and shiny. I imagined that my hair would be even more beautiful if I were allowed to let the brown fade out to snowy white. The closest it had ever gotten was a dull tan.

One of the times I had run away from Winterfell as a I child, I had tried to camp in the woods. I'd even brought a makeshift tent and supplies. I washed my hair with fresh spring water twice a day, and it had become very light. I just wanted to see the silver white hair my family was know for. But, at the beginning of the second week, they'd found me. I had never planned on running away permanently, I only wanted time to myself. I'd been chided, but everyone had been more worried than angry. Catelyn had gone easy on me then, as she had done every other time. Even though I wasn't actually her daughter, I almost always felt like the favorite child.

"Constantly disappearing," Robb said his mouth close to my ear. I'd been so lost in thought, I hadn't even noticed him come in. I could feel his breath on my neck and I got the chills. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed the side of my head.

"You know I like to have time to myself," I said looking in the mirror. Our faces next to each other were truly a work of art. We were a perfect match as far as our looks were concerned. Our children would be stunning.

"You spend too much time alone," he teased. He turned me to face him.

"Would you rather me spend my time flirting with the soldiers? You know that's what Sansa would be doing." The little dig at our sister, slipped out before I remembered just why she wasn't with us. "I'm sorry, I try to forget."

"As do I. I wish we didn't have to forget, Sansa and Arya should be with us."

"If they were, we likely wouldn't be fighting this war anyway." I smiled sadly.

"I would've married you by now." He kissed me lightly and smiled. His smiles never touched his eyes, but I understood why. I was sure my eyes looked just as empty as his. Our family was incomplete, stretched too thin.

"Of course," I murmured. The war wasn't the only reason I continued to put off our wedding, but it was the most prevalent one. He kissed me again. This time I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back.

"Ami," he whispered. I pushed him back quickly.

"Don't call me that."

"I'm sorry, I know. You've had that nickname since we were little kids. Jon used to call you that all the time. It just slipped out."

"I need to go, Catelyn wanted me." I stood up and walked toward the tent flaps.

"Amina, I'm sorry," he tried one more time. I could hear in his voice how deeply he meant his apology. I didn't think he knew why it bothered me so much, but he knew that it did. He hated when he hurt me, even if it was an accident.

"I know," I said gently. "I'll see you at supper." I left the tent, and walked around the back all the way to the edge of camp, the opposite side of Jaime's prison. I leaned against a tree, noting the guards that kept a watchful eye on me, the future Queen in the North. I took a deep breath and tried not to cry. No matter how much I tried I couldn't forget.


	3. Storms

_"[close my eyes, on this violent night](https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=1&v=g_QOmSaZySI)  
_ [ _I'm still here, dead in your life"_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=1&v=g_QOmSaZySI)

I lay in my tent trying to nap, but sleep refused to come. I was too on edge. The war was making me nervous. It wasn't so much that I was scared we'd lose, I had a good feeling about this. I was just tense from sitting through war councils with batty old men all day. I wanted an afternoon of peace, but I couldn't even nap.

The tent flaps parted, and Catelyn came in to distract me from my feeble attempts at rest. "I thought you were leaving today?" I asked, standing up. I stopped a few paces ahead of her, to rearrange the things on my vanity.

"I'm going in the morning, I just wanted to speak with you first, Amina," she said.

"Oh?"

"I want you to know I've always considered you part of this family. I practically raised you after all."

"Of course, I know that." I wondered where this was going. I knew Catelyn loved all her children fiercely, me included. But it was unusual for her to go about telling us these things, without a point to make. I picked up a chain of flowers, remembering an afternoon spent with Jon in Winterfell. I slowly braided my hair, adding the flowers in as I went.

"You're to marry Robb as soon as the war is over. It would've been sooner, but as you know there were many complications." I nodded, still not knowing where this was leading. "I'm aware you don't love him."

I was completely caught off guard. For a moment, I just stood there gaping at her, the flowers and braid entirely forgotten. "I-" She held up a hand to silence me.

"Don't bother denying it. I'm well aware of the many things that go on in my household." She stepped towards me and resumed the braiding. "I, myself, am proof that even someone who didn't love the man they were to marry can make things work. Over the years I grew to love Ned, I do not doubt that you can grow to love Robb in the same way."

"But things are different with me. If you really know everything that goes on behind closed doors, then you'd know that."

"Of course I do, but don't think your situation is anything special. Everyone has a first love. When I was young there was only one man I wanted to marry, and I know you've heard how that ended. But Ned and I raised five beautiful children, not to mention you. I love my family with all my heart. You'll understand one day, no matter how you feel now."

I didn't know what to say. We stood in silence as she finished my braid and secured it with a leather tie. She touched my arm and looked at me. "Amina, you are going to make an amazing queen. I could've changed my mind about having you marry Robb, but you will be good for him. You truly were meant to rule. You are determined, and smarter than anyone gives you credit for. And you're kind, something kings and queens these days take for granted. People will listen to you, not only that, but people will like you."

"I think I'll make an excellent queen," I said quietly.

"The best these seven kingdoms have seen in quite a long time," Catelyn said.

"And without Robb I'll never get there." It wasn't really meant to be a question, I knew it was true. It would never matter how kind, or how fit to rule I was. No one would accept a Targaryen ruler.

"You know what lies in your heart, only you can know that. But I can see what you're meant for. You have a choice, everyone does, and I just hope you know how to make the right one. Rarely is it only about your happiness, it's about everyone else's." She kissed me on the cheek before moving towards the entrance to my tent. "Robb doesn't need to know we had this talk."

* * *

"Are you feeling better?" Robb asked stepping into my tent.

"What?" I asked looking up from the black ribbon I was twirling aimlessly in my fingers.

"You missed dinner. My mother said you weren't feeling well." He walked towards me. I secured the ribbon around the leather tie already on my braid.

"Oh! Yes, it was just a headache," I lied. I didn't want him to get too worried about me. He might try to send me back to Winterfell. I wasn't even sick anyway, a least not in a physical way.

"I'm sure there's something I could do to make you feel better," he murmured kissing my neck. I tilted my head back and sighed softly. He ran his hand over my shoulder and down my arm brushing past my hair along the way. He tugged softly on the end of my braid and I felt him smile against my neck. I put a hand on his chest and pushed him back a little.

"I'm really not in the mood," I told him. He gave me this pitiful look and I laughed. "Really? You think you can just look at me like that and I'll melt in your hand?"

"That's the idea," he said a little smile playing on his face.

"Not tonight." I gave him a little push and he fell back onto one of my chaises.

"Well, it was worth a try." He pulled my arm so I had to sit next to him. I sighed and lay down beside him. It was nice to relax for a moment. I put my head on his chest and closed my eyes, Robb's heartbeat was steadily lulling me to sleep. Robb kissed the top of my head. For a moment I didn't have to say anything, didn't have to worry about pretenses or even about the war. I could worry in a minute, for now I just wanted to breathe. "Amina?" He asked breaking my serenity. I mumbled a response. "What happened?"

"What do you mean?" I asked hoping that if I didn't move he'd let whatever was on his mind go.

"When we were little we were best friends, you, me, Jon and eventually Theon." I looked up at him. His face was tense like he was thinking really hard.

"We're still-"

He cut me off, sitting up and taking me with him. "No, I'm not stupid I know something changed between us. I can see it in your eyes. When we were kids you joked that our wedding would be the grandest spectacle in the Seven Kingdoms. You always liked attending feasts and parties, but you never cared for the opulence. But when you talked about the wedding, you made it sound so extravagant. It was the only time you and Sansa every really had something to talk about."

"Sansa and I were polar opposites," I said more to myself than to Robb. I hardly even noticed I'd used past tense, she wasn't gone yet. "We still are."

"Did I do something? What made you stop caring about us? I know you never felt the same way about me as I did about you, but we were friends. We used to tell each other everything. Remember the day Ned finally told you where you came from? You were so confused and upset, you ran straight to my room crying. If I ever did something to hurt you, I'm so sorry." His hand cupped my face, so I had no choice but to look into his eyes. I did remember all that. He'd vowed he would always keep my secret, and always keep me safe. How did I tell him he'd gone too far, treated me too delicately. He'd ran me right into another's arms.

"You never did anything wrong. You're wonderful, really. It's just I'm in..." I stopped and shook my head.

"You can tell me."

"I'm worried about being queen," I said thinking quickly. He gave me a look I couldn't decipher.

"Really?"

"It's just a lot of responsibility. It wasn't really something I was expecting." I tried to sound as heartfelt as I could.

"But you're always so confident and you're a great leader. After you got past the initial shock I thought you embraced it. I always thought you secretly wanted to be queen."

"Well, I did, and I still do. I just wasn't expecting it would ever happen I guess." That was true enough. For years I'd told everyone what I'd do as queen, but it had all been fantasy.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Robb asked.

"Like you said, I act tough. Doesn't mean I can't be a bit insecure. It's silly." I looked away. I was good at this game.

"It's not silly. It's perfectly normal." He kissed my lips softly and held me tightly. I rested my head against his shoulder, this time not feeling the slightest bit relaxed. I wondered if he'd be so understanding if he knew the real story. That I was in love with someone else, that never once in my life had I been afraid of embracing my birthright. Maybe I wasn't normal. But if this is what normal felt like – being trapped like an animal, having your future set in stone – I didn't want to be normal.

I drew circles on Robb's chest with my finger, trying to lull myself back to sleep. Robb deserved a normal girl. He deserved someone who could love him to the moon and back. Sometimes I wished that girl was me.

* * *

Long after Robb was called away I lay in my bed, staring up, not really seeing the tent above me. I tugged the black ribbon out of my hair and began twisting it around my fingers again. It was considerably shorter now than it had been when Jon and I used to use to pass messages to each other.

I remember picking it up off the ground in the woods after the carriages had gone. It had been ripped and the end was fraying. I remember being more concerned at the time with how it had been torn. I even looked for a rock sharp enough to tear through it. It wasn't until later that I considered what the torn ribbon meant. Jon had taken something to remember me by, a torn piece of worn black ribbon. No one would know what it meant except for him.

I wondered if he still had it. Maybe he'd lost it, or thrown it away. But maybe he'd take it out and twist it around his finger, like I was doing right now. He could be holding his half of the ribbon at this very moment. I liked to believe it, it made me feel like we were still connected even thousands of miles away.

No matter how far our paths veered away from each other's, I had to believe that one day they'd end up together again. I'd never been quite as attached to the Gods as the Starks were, but I believed in fate. I'd walk down my path until I ended up where I wanted. But make no mistake, if I needed to, I wouldn't hesitate to make my own way. I always had been one to leave the beaten path and wonder in the trees.


	4. Moaning Lisa Smile

_"[flash your teeth if the inside hurts](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z71df68qLp0)"_

I saw Catelyn the while she was preparing to leave for Storm's End. "Good morning, Catelyn!" I called. I wandered over towards her and rubbed her horse's head. "How long do you think you'll be gone for?" I asked.

"Quite a while. I haven't seen Renly in ages and I don't know how hard it will be to convince him to side with us. The ride to the Stormlands is over a fortnight. I won't be back for a good while," Catelyn told me with a sigh. "You will be the Lady in charge here while I'm away." We both laughed.

"When do you think Theon will be getting back to the North?"

"A little more than a fortnight I'd assume. Pyke is much closer. I guess it depends on how long he visits with his father."

"You don't think he'd leave us, do you?" I asked.

"Ned and I raised him. I'd like to hope he wouldn't desert us so quickly. Unless you think he might. I know you two are close."

"We were best friends from the moment he arrived in Winterfell. That was one thing that never changed. He's like my brother, I don't want to believe that there's even a chance he might change his mind about our family. But..."

"You think he might go against us? The Iron Islands are the smallest kingdom in the realm. No one would come to their rescue, they alienated everyone during their coup."

"I'm sure Theon would try to tell his father all that, but family has always been important to him. If his father staged another rebellion while the crown is weak, I'm not sure Theon could refuse."

"Blood has always been important to him, not family. There's a fine line between who your family is and where your blood comes from. Is this about him not saying goodbye to you before he left? Are you afraid that was his way of telling you his plans?"

"Theon and I never say goodbyes. Friends should never have to permanently leave each other. We never say anything as final as goodbye."

"If only that were true." She looked off into space for a second, lost in her thoughts. I bounced on the balls of my feet unable to shake the feeling something was going to go wrong. "Nervous hands are never good, pack your things. You'll ride me to the Stormlands."

"Robb will never let me go, he'll say it's too dangerous," I said more bitterly than I had planned.

"If he didn't think you could take care of yourself, he would send you back to Winterfell. I'll convince him it's a good idea."

"Alright, thank you." I started to turn away and she touched my shoulder.

"Amina, I remember when Theon first came to Winterfell and you two met. If anyone of us here has an idea as to what is going on in that boy's head, it's you. But I also know that he cares for you too. I can't believe that he'd walk away from that without a second thought. There's more to family than blood."

* * *

The journey to Storm's End was even longer than I had expected it to be. When we arrived I felt like I had been on horseback for a year, even though it wasn't nearly that long. After brief introduction to Renly and his wife, I retired to my room. Though I couldn't stay still for long, and soon found myself wandering around.

"Amina Winterfell," Renly said coming up to me patting me on the shoulder. "That name just rolls off the tongue doesn't it?"

"I guess."

"But soon you'll be Amina Stark, Queen in the North. That's exciting isn't it?"

Renly was a bit too chipper for my tastes. I was regretting leaving my quarters. "You know, I think I should go speak with Catelyn."

"Nonsense! I'm having you both come for dinner, something of a feast, in honor of your arrival. You can speak with her then. I'd love to give you a tour, while we have the chance."

I sighed giving in. I followed him all over Storm's End and wished again that I hadn't left my room, or that I had at least worn better shoes. Then we came across Loras Tyrell, who was talking to his sister Margaery, the queen. There was a look shared between Renly and Loras. It took me a second to place, but when I did it seemed obvious.

"I just remembered there was something I needed to attend to. I'm sure my lovely queen will finish giving you the grand tour," Renly apologized.

"Of course," Margaery said nodding. We both watched as the two men walked of talking quietly. "I'm sorry about him. He gets excited about showing off his accomplishments."

"I can tell he's proud," I said looking around.

"Youngest child syndrome, I'm afraid." We both laughed at her husband. She led me up the stairs and onto a beautiful balcony overlooking the lands.

"Your husband is in love with your brother you know," I said.

"It has come to my attention," she said tersely.

"And you haven't done anything about it?" I asked shocked.

"What should I do? He is the king and I am his queen. There is not much I can do about my situation, besides try to quell the rumors. Few people marry for love these days."

I looked away towards the sunset. "That's true enough."

"What about you and Robb? I was surprised to hear you two are still unwed. Are you sure that's wise?"

I continued to stare at the pretty colors the sky cast over the land. Pinks and purples swirled through the sky and I tried to imagine what the sky looked like from anywhere else. "I love him. I'm just not in love with him."

"You grew up with him as your brother, that has to feel odd."

"I always knew I was going to marry him, so that isn't it. He is one of the kindest people I know. If it were not for Sansa and Arya being taken, I don't know if the war would have ever started."

"Does he love you?"

"He does. It breaks my heart, sometimes I think it would be easier if he were indifferent."

There was a long pause as we both watched the sun finish setting. The twilight was even more beautiful and I just wanted to sit here forever.

"Trust me it's not."

"What?" I asked.

"It isn't easier, being married to someone who's indifferent to your presence." Margaery shook her head slightly. "Everyone knows that we haven't even consummated our marriage yet. It's like he wants them to know! He won't even try! I don't care if he doesn't love me. I just don't want to be embarrassed like this!"

"Just give him time. Coming from someone forced to marry a person they aren't in love with, I know time is the only thing you can give."

"Are you in love with someone else then?" She asked. I nodded. "Then I guess you know what you're talking about. It's my duty, and yours, as queen to bear the next in line to the throne. It's like women are just a tool to make sure that life runs smoothly. Why are we forced into marriages we don't want?"

"I want to be queen," I mumbled. It was my immediate response, the only thing that kept me from running away, a survival instinct.

"I do too, more than anything." Just by looking at her you could tell she was in it for the dresses, and riches. She wasn't interested in fixing this world or anything honorable like that. I could see how Margaery and Renly made a good match, at least on the surface. "Where's the man you love? Does Robb know about him? Is he a soldier in Robb's army with whom you're having a secret affair?"

"No, Robb doesn't know. Catelyn knows, but Robb does not. But it doesn't really matter, he's gone."

"Did he die in battle?" She asked. There was something about her, a young girlish quality that made me instantly like her. At first glance, she reminded me of Sansa. But Sansa had never been so endearing.

"No, he's not dead. He joined the Night's Watch."

She gasped. "Only criminals join the Night's Watch."

"It wasn't always like that, joining the Night's Watch used to be an honor. That's all he wanted, somewhere he could fit in and be a part of something. In a lot of ways he was my polar opposite. He always wanted to fit in, where I always wanted to stand out."

"I wish I had someone out there who was in love with me. Even if I couldn't be with him, knowing he's out there would be enough." She sighed dreamily.

"It's not enough. I want to be with him so badly it hurts. That's what keeps me going more than anything else, if I become queen maybe I could bring him back to me."

"I hope the two of you can be together, I think you deserve a person who loves you and who you love back."

"You do too," I said.

"Unfortunately it's too late for me. I guess I should make the most of what I have."

* * *

Catelyn and I had been a guest of the Baratheons for a while. In that time Margaery and I had become good friends. I realized that in my 18 years, I'd never really gotten a chance to be friends with girls. There were Sansa and Arya of course, but Sansa and I were total opposites and Arya was half my age.

The only other girls I'd come in contact with were my handmaidens, and a few local prostitutes. The whores always had the best gossip. If you shared a story, they share a tip to please your lover. Not that I'd had any chances to use their advice. The time I'd planned to, it hadn't worked out.

Most of the whores were nice enough. The only one I openly disliked was Ros, but that was Theon's fault. I couldn't blame him though, he hadn't had any idea about me and Jon. He'd thought he was doing Jon a favor by sending the redhead up to his room. I proceeded to make a huge fool out of myself.

But, anyway, enough of that. I'd rather not recount the horrid details in this journal, I already had to live through it once.

I browsed the selection of green dresses, brought to my room by Margaery's handmaidens. Margaery had assured me green was my color. But I suspected she was just tired of the color, and happy to be rid of a few. None of the dresses were quite my style. Each had plunging necklines and soft floaty fabrics.

I set aside the dresses I had worn already: a pale green dress with lace cap sleeves, and a bright green dress with lots of ruffles. This left two more to chose from. I sighed. It wasn't that I had an aversion to dressing up, I wasn't a tomboy like Arya. But, I didn't feel like wasting hours of getting ready on another dinner. Catelyn and Renly would discuss strategy and peace. Margaery and I would pretend to listen, but really be gossiping. This routine had gotten quite stale.

I tossed aside a hunter green dress with a neckline well below my chest. Instead I chose an elegant light green dress, that almost glowed. I slipped it on and admired myself in the mirror. I wondered if I ever would have worn something like this in my old life. Maybe a different color, but the style seemed just right. Catelyn chose this moment to appear and I lost my train of thought.

"You look beautiful," Catelyn told me.

"Thank you. We should visit the South more often. It has done wonders for my complexion. My skin feels so light and airy without the wind and the chills."

"The weather is beautiful here, after Robb wins the war I'm sure the two of you can visit more often."

"Or we could move to King's Landing like every other king and queen," I suggested. I picked up a brush and began running it through my hair to tame the wavy locks.

"That's true." Catelyn offered a purple and gold pendant that I had been wearing daily and I slid it on. "Whatever happened to that necklace you used to wear? The one with that symbol you created, what did you call it when you were little, a Stargaryen?"

I laughed. "Yeah that was it. I'm not sure. I must have left it back in Riverrun. Though now that you mention it, I don't remember the last time I wore it. I hope I didn't lose it, it was a gift from Theon."

"You wore it everywhere after you got it. The chain had to be replaced twice."

"It was my very own house sigil, I was proud of it."

"We'll look for it when we get back."

"Do you think it would feel strange, to go to King's Landing, I mean?" I asked. Catelyn began twisting my hair into a tight bun at the nape of my neck.

"Why would it feel strange?" Catelyn asked confused.

"I don't know. My family lived there for generations."

"I'm sure that you-" Catelyn was cut off by Margaery bursting into the room. She made a noise that was somewhere between a gasp and a squeal. "I'll leave you girls to finish getting ready."

"Mina, that dress looks perfect on you! It never really fit me quite right and now I know why, it was made for you." She picked up a gold vine looking hairpiece and slid it around my head to complete the look. "Perfect. You're taking this entire outfit home with you, no protests."

"Where am I supposed to wear it? Winter is coming. This fabric is much too thin." I grabbed a handful of silky fabric to prove my point.

"You sound just like a Stark!" She pouted.

"Because I am one!"

"Not by blood," she said matter-of-factly.

"Just because I'm not Catelyn's blood, does not mean I am not still her daughter. I am a Stark whether it is in my lineage or not. Anyway, my real family died before I was born, the Starks raised me."

"How do you know your whole family died? Do you know what house you're really from?" She looked at me expectantly, egger for a bit of gossip.

"Yes, but it doesn't matter."

"A lesser house then. That's alright, I won't think of you any differently. Like you said, you are a Stark after all," she gave me a half hug and then blew a kiss as she ran out of the room. "See you at dinner!"

If only she really knew my house. She might fall over and die just from the pure drama of it all. I shook my head and turned back to the mirror to take one final look. Perfect.


	5. Premonitions

_"[with all our fate, hearts broken from the start](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mO2IepcSZZc)"_

I was in a large city with bright, vivid colors and fruit filled trees. I didn't recognize anyone and no one seemed to know me either, it felt nice to be anonymous. I wandered the streets of the beautiful city. I had no idea where I was going, but I wanted to explore. I ended up in a garden of sorts and sat down. There were still people all around, but it seemed peaceful here.

Then I heard a voice coming through the trees, the voice was extremely familiar, but I couldn't place it. A girl stepped through the trees followed by a older blonde man. The girl stared at me and I stared back, neither of us saying anything.

"Your face," I said. It was almost like looking in a mirror. Where my features were sharp lines, here's were softer. But there was no mistaking how similar we looked.

"Who are you?" She asked quickly.

"Amina Winterfell."

"I am Daenerys Stormborn of house Targaryen." She rolled her shoulders back, looking confident and proud.

"That's impossible. Every last Targaryen was killed." I paused then added, "All but me."

She stepped toward me. "But your hair?" She grabbed a handful of my hair, giving it a distasteful look.

"It's dyed. No one in Westeros has silver hair, except Targaryens. And Targaryens are supposed to be dead. How did you escape?"

"I was a baby, I don't remember. My brother, Viserys-"

"A brother, is he alive too?" I asked.

"No, he died."

"Oh."

Daenerys turned to the man who had been walking with her. "Is there any possibility she could be who she says she is?"

"I do believe you had a sister, Khaleesi. But she-"

I was suddenly yanked from the garden, before I could hear the rest of his words.

* * *

When I sat up, I was in my comfortable Storm's End bed once more. Margaery was sitting at the foot, bouncing slightly.

"What are you doing up this early?" I asked.

"What are you doing up this late? The sun is nearly at its highest point."

"Oh!" I jumped out of bed.

"You missed Stannis coming into town. He was just as lovely and charming as ever," she said sarcastically. "Oh, this came for you while you were asleep." She handed me a letter.

It was a letter inside a letter. The first being from Robb, telling me that he missed me, and that this letter had come for me at Riverrun. The second letter in question was from Jon. I read it quickly. It was dated months ago, at the time he'd sent it, he'd been days from heading beyond the Wall. I sighed, whatever I had expected, this wasn't it. I knew I shouldn't have expected much, Jon knew many eyes would read his letter before it reached me. "Where's Catelyn?"

"In her chambers. Aren't you at least going to tell me who they were from?"

"It doesn't matter. It isn't important anymore."

I left Margaery in my room, and went down the hall to Catelyn's. "Come in!" She called when I knocked on the door. I walked into the room. "Amina, are you alright?"

"I'm fine. I had a strange dream last night."

"Tell me about it," she told me. She steered me to a chair by the fireplace, and sat across from me.

"Well, I was in a big city. I didn't recognize it. It was bright and colorful and the people looked different than anyone I've ever seen before. I didn't notice that bit till just now."

"Perhaps, Dorne?" She suggested. I shook my head, I knew what Dorne looked like from sketches in my books. "Or somewhere across the Narrow Sea? You've read books about Essos before. Maybe that's why you dreamt of it."

I was fairly convinced I didn't have this dream because of a book. "There was a girl there, she looked like me, but she had blonde hair. I thought she was me at first, but then we spoke, now I'm not so sure. She said her name was Daenerys Targaryen." I shook my head. "Do you have any idea why I might dream about a girl who looks like me, but isn't quite me?"

Catelyn looked pained. "You've heard stories about twins, I'm sure. Sometimes they're capable of things that normal people are not."

"Sure, but what does that have to do with my dream?"

"Twins have a bond that isn't easy to break. When one loses a twin, they lose a part of themselves. When you were a baby, you had a sister. A twin."

"I had a sister," I repeated flatly. Then I stood up. "I had a sister, and no one told me?" Catelyn reached for my arms, but I evaded her. I began pacing, trying to compile my thoughts.

"As you know, the Targaryens are called the dragons. The magic in that family makes the twin bond even more powerful. Ned and I were afraid to trigger anything."

"But if she was killed as a baby, why did I dream about her?" I asked.

"Up until recently we assumed she and her brother were dead."

"Up until recently, meaning that's changed?" I stopped pacing and turned to look at her.

"When Ned went to the capital, Robert told him the other Targaryen children were alive. They escaped to Essos after the war, and no one had bothered to hunt them down. Obviously this is the reason you never suffered. Your twin bond was still intact. Ned tried to protect you, by convincing Robert to keep your sister alive."

"But no one told me. Why didn't anyone tell me?"

"I'm telling you now," Catelyn patience was wearing thin. Normally I would stop pushing, I didn't want her to stop talking. But in this instance, I had a right to be upset.

"Catelyn, please."

She sighed and sat back down. "The last I heard from Ned, she was in Vaes Dothrak with her brother and her husband. She was pregnant."

"I have an entire family out there. I spent my whole life thinking my family was dead. Catelyn, I have to go find them."

"Family is more than blood, you know that. You do not know them, and they do not know you."

"But she isn't just my sister, she's my twin. I dreamt about her. That must mean something, it felt so real!" I was shaking with excitement. I couldn't control my emotions. I had grown up thinking I was the last of my kind, but maybe there was hope for me out there. Hope that didn't involve marring a man I was not in love with. "Let me go, please. It would mean everything to me."

"You are going to go with or without my blessing." She sighed. "I'll see if I can find you passage on a ship going that direction. Describe the city you saw in your dream again."

I explained all the colors and trees I had seen. "I was like an oasis in a desert."

"I know little of Essos, but I seem to recall a city like that in books. Maybe on the Eastern side. I'll ask the traders if they know." I nodded. "I will give you as much time as you need. But, promise me if you can't find your sister, you'll return. Essos is barely civilized, I don't want you there alone for such a long period of time."

I nodded. "If I can't find her in a few months, I'll come home. I promise."

"Alright, I'll begin preparing for your departure."

* * *

"You're going to the savage country?" Margaery asked.

"My sister is there," I told her for the third time.

"But Essos is almost as uncivilized as Wildling territory!"

"Hardly, they have cities in Essos. The Free Cities trade with the realm all the time."

"How do you know they don't have cities in the far north?" She countered.

"Well, I don't. But at least they don't eat people in Volantis," I said, exasperated.

"Ok, I'll give you that one. I brought up tons of dresses. All light summer fabric that you just love so much."

"I don't hate summer fabric. I just said it wasn't practical. It's autumn, winter will be here soon."

"Where you're going, they've probably never heard of winter!"

I browsed the dresses she'd brought up. There were brightly colored dresses, that looked like the dresses in my dream. As well as a few calf length dresses in browns and greens, much more practical for day to day wear. "These might actually work."

Margaery laughed. "I may prefer elegance, but I can work with functional fashion too." She paused and looked at me. It was such a long moment I was on the verge of being uncomfortable. "Are you alright? You seem upset."

I shook my head. "I'm fine. It's just crazy to think my family has been alive all this time, but no one thought to tell me."

"Well, I don't know the entire situation. Someone refuses to tell me anything. But perhaps the Starks thought it was best for you."

"I am sorry I can't tell you anything more, but you're probably right. They didn't want me to grow up like my family did. But, besides that, I can't tell Robb I'm leaving. He won't know until Catelyn makes it back to Riverrun."

"Why not?" Margaery asked, braiding her hair in front of the mirror.

"Catelyn thinks a letter to him might get intercepted. She wants as few people to know my whereabouts as possible. The only person traveling with me is one of Renly's soldiers, Aylward Caswell."

"You'll be able to move quicker and draw less attention with just one soldier. I know Ser Aylward, he's been a friend of Renly's for years. You will be safe with him."

"That's the idea."

"Anything else?" She asked.

I tried to push aside all thoughts of Jon. "Not really."

"Well, I'm sure your journey is going to be amazing. Bring me back a present or two."

I laughed. "Ok, Marg. I'll buy us matching gowns."

"Perfect. Can you imagine, we'll be the prettiest queens in the Seven Kingdoms."

"I thought we already were," I said laughing.

"Touché."

"Queen in the North and Queen of...What are you queen of again?"

"The Reach," she said.

"Oh, is that even a place?" I asked teasingly.

"It's more territory than the North!"

"No there are more people, there's a difference."

"How do you know the North is bigger, did you measure it?" She asked with a laugh. The door opened and one of Margaery's servants appeared. "What is it Rhoda?"

"Forgive me my queen but you must come with me at once."

"What's going on?" I asked.

"Lady Stark," she began. I started to correct her, but stopped when I heard her next words.. "I'm afraid you'll have to postpone your travels."

"What do you mean I must postpone my travels?"

"Something came up and-" The girl looked extremely nervous. Margaery cut her off.

"I believe my friend asked a question. What has come up?"

"Your grace, King Renly is dead."


	6. I Followed Fires

_"[there's a devil at your door](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AnPu7NLKllI)_   
[ _and he grows, he grows_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AnPu7NLKllI)   
[ _so I been told he had a heart of gold_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AnPu7NLKllI)   
[ _and it grows, grows like a storm_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AnPu7NLKllI) _"_

"Catelyn sent me for you. She was in the tent when Renly was killed," the servant told me. "They're blaming her."

"Catelyn would never do anything like that!" I protested.

"I know, milady. She and Lady Brienne are leaving for Riverrun immediately, you must go with them."

"Mina, you could come with me," Margaery said, stepping in front of her servant. "Loras and I will go back to Highgarden. You could come with us, you would be safe."

"We're friends, Margaery, but you know I can't do that. I have a duty as future queen, and I have a sister out there. You could come back to Riverrun with me."

"The midst of a war is no place for me. I cannot stand on the sidelines of a battle every afternoon, while I drink my evening tea." The disgust was clear in her voice. It was easy to forget how different we were, when we lounged in her quarters drinking wine. She was a Southerner, I was a Northerner. She was strong in her own way, but I was called to action.

"My lady," I heard from behind me. I turned to see Renly's friend and soldier.

"Ser Aylward," I said with a nod.

"Many of the King's banner men are already pledging themselves to Stannis. I have no interest in betraying my friend, whether he is alive or dead. Renly wanted me to protect you on your journey and I pledged to Catelyn that I would. If you'll have me, I would like to pledge to you my eternal protection for as long as you may desire it."

"That's very generous, Ser. Do you not have family or loved ones to go back to?"

"I haven't had a family in many years, my lady. I wish to finish the last task my King left for me. I will not leave him for his brother before his body is even cold."

"Then I accept your offer, and I am grateful for your protection, Ser."

"We must leave Storm's End at once. As soon as Stannis arrives, he'll want you brought to him as a bargaining piece."

I turned to face Margaery again. "My friend, I'll miss you."

"We've only known each other for a few weeks, but you've become like a sister to me."

"I'll see you again, Marg."

I hugged her tightly. Aylward touched my arm and beckoned me down the hall. "It's time to go."

"Good-" Margaery started but I silenced her.

"Best friends never say goodbye."

Aylward took my arm and hurried me down the dark halls. We met up with Catelyn and Brienne at the gates. Catelyn hugged me. "Thank you, Ser Aylward, for getting Amina away from there." He nodded. "Now come darling, I packed as much as I could gather quickly." I nodded and mounted my horse, Myst.

"Let's ride," I said. "The sooner we reach Riverrun the better."

* * *

I stood in the garden again, though this time there wasn't a single person around. My sister appeared from behind one of the trees and walked towards me. "Amina," she greeted me.

"Daenerys," I said.

"Jorah told me about you. He said he's heard stories about you, although he didn't know you were a Targaryen. He thought my sister was dead."

"I was under the impression you were dead as well, I guess that makes us even. Where have you been all this time? I would have come for you had I known you were still alive."

"I grew up in Pentos with my brother, Viserys."

"What was our brother like?" I asked curious. She offered me a hand and led me through complicated hallways.

"He was much like our father, mad."

"Catelyn told me you were married. Is the man I saw you with before your husband?"

"No, that was Jorah my advisor. My husband Khal Drogo was killed by a witch, as was my son."

"Oh my Gods, I am so sorry."

"It's alright, you couldn't have known. Catelyn is the woman taking care you, correct? Is she a Stark?"

I nodded. "The Starks took me in when I was a baby. They're the only family I've ever know."

She opened a door and led me into a beautiful room. Light shown through the large windows. Dany walked toward a series of crates lined on the sill. She gave me a mysterious smile, then opened the first crate. A tiny black scaled dragon walked to the front of the box. I gasped. The little dragon jumped from the crate, and gave a little screech. I knelt down beside him, and he flapped his wings as he came toward me.

"He recognizes you as blood of the dragon, I suspected he would."

"Me? A dragon?"

"You are Targaryen, and we are twins. These are the last three dragons left in the world." She opened another crate and a small bronze and green dragon flew out clumsily. "They're still learning to fly." The small dragon landed on my shoulder and I let it curl itself into my neck. "This is Rhaegal, named after our eldest brother. He likes you already."

I reached up to pet him. I felt an instant connection to the little dragon. I'd never felt this connected to the Starks' direwolves. "You should come to Westeros."

"Jorah is acquiring me ships as we speak. I hear you are a queen there."

"I'm engaged to marry the King in the North. When we win the war, I will stand beside him as he takes the Iron Throne."

"Would your army help me?"

"Perhaps if I could get Catelyn and Robb to understand. If they will agree, then everyone else will follow."

"Targaryens are the rightful rulers," Dany said.

"And we're the last two left."

"We have dragons. I'd like to see the man who dares stand in our way."

"You'd laugh. He's merely a boy with a temper."

"All the better for us, I hope he kept our throne warm." Dany and I laughed together. She reached over to the table, and picked up a silver band. She clasped it around my wrist. I looked down at it, it was embossed with a small dragon sigil. "So you don't forget where you came from, sister."

* * *

I woke to Catelyn tapping my shoulder. "It's time to ride. We should reach Robb's camp by tomorrow at the rate we're going." I sat up and stretched. "Amina, what happened to your neck?" I touched my neck but didn't feel anything.

I walked over to the stream that ran parallel to our resting place. In the reflection I could see three light bronze marks that ran from my collar bone, to the back to my shoulder. Like claw marks, dragon claws. I grasped my wrist and found the silver band was there. I tugged my sleeve down over it.

"Is something the matter, my lady?" Aylward asked, coming to stand by me.

"No, everything is quite alright, thank you for checking."

"Are you sure?"

I sighed, it was important he knew if he was to be my knight. "Aylward, there's something you should know. I wouldn't tell you, but since you've pledged yourself to protect me, it's only fair." I turned from the stream to face him. "I am a Targaryen." He nodded. I stared at him. "Aren't you going to shout or demand I release you?"

"I heard the rumors of a Targaryen princess in Essos. When Catelyn asked me to accompany you to find your sister, I asked the seamen what they knew. Their stories lined up with what Catelyn told me. It wasn't hard to connect you to her."

"And yet you still pledge your loyalty to me, daughter of Aerys the Mad King?"

"I've been watching you closely, since we left Storm's End. You are a Stark in everything you do, which can be taught. But in your eyes, I see that you have a gentle heart. That is something you're born with. Combined with your lineage and your upbringing, you are a force to be reckoned with. Any man who doesn't stand behind you would be a fool."

* * *

I was digging through packs trying to find the one with the food when I ran across a lump of white fabric. I tugged it out of the bag to see that it was actually a dress, a summer dress. "Catelyn, why in the world did you pack this?"

"You saw the chaos that erupted when Renly passed. I want to avoid any messes if Robb were to die in battle. It's a fate I do not like to dwell on, but I want you to be safe, Amina"

"Okay, so you packed this dress on accident in the chaos."

"No, before I leave for Winterfell, I will see you and Robb wed under the skies of the old Gods and the new."

"Catelyn, you can't be serious," I said gaping at her. "I'm supposed to go to Essos, after my sister! I can't do that if I'm married!"

"Amina, your sister will still be in Essos after the war, you may go for her then."

"Do you even care about me, or have I always been the girl that Robb is going to marry?"

"You know that I wouldn't make you do this if it weren't completely imperative. You are stronger than Margaery and Renly combined. If there ever comes a time when it is necessary, you can command Robb's army."

"Or we could bring Daenerys here. With Robb's army and her dragons-"

"Daenerys has dragons?" Catelyn asked shocked. I didn't mean to let it slip. "How do you know?"

"I can speak with her in my dreams. I thought the first one was just that, a dream, but then last night she gave me this." I held up my wrist showing her the silver band. "And those marks you saw on my neck were from one of her three dragons." I shook my head. "Why am I even telling you this? Obviously you don't care about me."

"Amina, even if you are not my blood, you are still my daughter. I will fight to keep you safe. Trust me when I say, I'm doing what is best for you. You may not see it now, but one day you will."

* * *

We arrived at the camp late the next afternoon. Catelyn and I went to Robb's tent immediately, flanked by Brienne and Aylward. Robb was in the middle of a war council, but abandoned it as soon as he saw us. He hugged his mother, then turned to face me. "It feels like you've been gone forever."

"Only a few months." I gave him a teasing smile. He kissed me softly. When I pulled away, I saw Catelyn over his shoulder, smiling at us. I frowned.

"There is much business to discus tonight. I'm sure Amina is tired from our journey. But you and I should discuss preparations for tomorrow. We will hold your wedding ceremony at sunset," Catelyn told him.

"I thought we'd decided to wait until after the war?" Robb asked looking between the two of us.

"War is full of surprises, its better this way," Catelyn said looking at me.

"I'm feeling fatigued, I believe I'll retire to my tent for the evening," I said unhappily.

"I will have someone fetch you a light dinner my lady," Aylward told me.

"That would be nice, thank you. Robb, I'll see you in the morning." I didn't acknowledge Catelyn as I turned away. I walked to my tent, hoping if I moved quickly no one would stop to chat. It didn't stop a few men from asking about the journey. I answered shortly, refusing to give the details. Word of Renly's death would spread soon enough, I didn't want to contribute to the rumors.

"Milady?" One of my handmaidens called. She was one of the youngest, maybe only a little older than Arya.

"Yes?" I turned.

"A package came for you while you were away. I set it on your bed."

"Thank you, dear," I told her. She blushed and scurried away. I walked into my tent and grabbed a bottle of wine off my table before lying across my bed. I felt something hard digging into my back and rolled over to grab the little box. I took a swig of wine straight from the bottle before untying the package. On top was a pendant wrapped a few times with its chain. I knew what it was before I even unrolled it. The circle design with the curling tendrils looked like a star at first glance. But if you looked closely, you could see the direwolf in the middle. It was the house sigil I'd designed when I was nine. Theon had taken one of my drawings and had it made into a pendant for me.

I placed the chain around my neck, and tucked the pendant under the neckline of my dress. There was a thin card folded on top of the paper. I removed it and flipped it open, expecting a joke about how I should be more careful where I left my things. Instead, in Theon's messy handwriting, was a single word. "Goodbye." I stared at the word, trying to figure out a reason besides the obvious. We never said goodbye, we always planned to meet again. It was childish, but it had been that way since I was a little girl.

Theon knew how many people I had lost. Why would he leave me? Something about this was worse than if I received word he'd died. It's selfish, but when someone dies at least no one would see them again. I didn't want to consider someone I loved was out there, choosing to live a life with other people, instead of me.

When Ned had died, I had been upset. But I had never cried, I had been strong for Robb and Catelyn. It had been harder when we learned the girls would not be released, almost as hard as losing Jon. Knowing they were out there somewhere, but knowing we may never see them again. I wished suddenly that I had been taken to Pentos as a child. At least then I would have never known these people that caused me endless amounts of pain.

"Stop acting like this, Amina," I scolded myself.

I took another swing from the wine bottle. Then I stood up and walked over to the candle on my table. I held the note above the flames and watched it burn into a shrivel. Only dropping it when the flame was almost to my fingers.

I reminded myself of my own personal words, forged by fire and honor. I had a duty, and I had to fulfill it. Perhaps I had lost all chances at happiness, but at least that meant no distractions. Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, no Twin Queens of the Seven Kingdoms. One day the title would be ours. Hopefully King Joffery had kept our throne warm.


	7. bad_news

_"[don't turn your back on me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jtVPa5baudI)_   
[ _don't bury your head deep_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jtVPa5baudI)   
_[just cause you don't know what to say](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jtVPa5baudI)"_

"Amina, you've been summoned to the command tent. Robb just received new from Winterfell," Aylward called into my tent. I was in the middle of having my hair braided into four small braids that wrapped around my head like a crown. The look was simple yet elegant, fitting for the wedding that was about to take place.

"Tell them I'm busy right now!" I called back.

"It's extremely important, you'll want to hear this. Forget about having your hair done!"

I sighed and stood up waving away my hand maidens. I pulled on a warm and comfortable coat and excited my tent. Aylward walked dutifully behind me to Robb's command tent. "I was called?" Catelyn pressed a piece of paper into my hand and I took it without meeting her gaze. I read it quickly and looked up at her. "No, this cannot be true. This is someone's sick idea of a joke. Theon? Why would he take Winterfell? Why would he possibly do a thing as vile as that?"

"Never trust a Greyjoy," Catelyn said. My hand went directly to the pendant around my neck and she noticed it. "He sent your necklace."

"Yes, and-and he said goodbye," my voice cracked on the final, awful word.

"You said yourself that he might not return to us," Catelyn reminded me. She was always the most patient with me. When I would run off into the woods, she was the one to find me and ask if I needed to talk. Robb stepped forward to comfort me, but Catelyn held up a hand to stop him.

"He was my friend. Friends don't-" I broke off suddenly. I thought I had avoided the tears, but now they brimmed in my eyes again. I tried to remember what it felt like to sit under the trees in the Godswood. I couldn't very well run there now, but I could remember. "Where are Bran and Rickon, are they safe?"

"We haven't heard anything of them," Robb said.

"You have to let me go to Winterfell," I said.

"It's obvious you're upset," he said. "I can't send you off in this state, Amina."

"You're going to kill him." I didn't say it as a question. "You can at least let me say goodbye. It's not fair that he can say his goodbyes, but not me. I won't stand in the way of his death when it comes. I just want to know why he did it, I want him to say it to my face. Why would he give us this family, for one that he barely knows."

Robb glanced at him mother. "It's a better plan than you turning around and marching back," Catelyn told him.

"You were going to march back?" I gaped. He nodded. "Absolutely not. No, you can't turn back. The Lannisters will think you've been beaten. Let Aylward and I go, send men behind us."

Roose Bolton stepped forward. I instinctively distrusted him. Something about his eyes seemed dead. "My bastard would be honored to go to Winterfell with you."

"That's very kind of you, but I should take men I know. Play to my strengths," I said as politely as I could manage.

"The men you are familiar with are some of Robb's best men, he needs them here. My boy knows the way well and he will be just as useful to you as your men."

"Then it's settled. Amina and Aylward will ride to Winterfell with the Bolton men behind them," Catelyn said. It took everything in me to not yell at them all. I had an unshakable feeling that the Boltons were bad news. Everyone knew their history, and if you believed the rumors they hadn't changed all that much. But, I kept my mouth closed. My last outburst had almost cost me my leave to Winterfell.

* * *

Catelyn came into my tent that afternoon, as I was trying to pack. She touched my shoulder, and I shrugged her off. "Don't think just because you took my side in there, that we're one big happy family again."

"I know you do not see things the way I do, but your marriage to my son is necessary for your safety. The two of you will still be wed before you leave for Winterfell."

I stared at her. "How could you have a wedding under these conditions? Your youngest children are in danger. Your home is under enemy occupation. Not to mention, there's a war raging on our doorstep."

"It isn't meant to be a joyous occasion, it is meant to be a convenience."

I laughed a laugh devoid of any kind of humor. "A marriage of convenience, exactly what I always wanted."

"From the day you were born your destiny was to be chosen for you. No matter if your family was still on the throne, or if Ned had left your fate up to Robert. Someone would have orchestrated your life for you. It's a cruel thing when your heart and your destiny are in different places, but it happens more often than not. Now, I will see you out by the trees at sunset. There are no Weirwoods here, but we will make do."

"Always making do."

Catelyn ignored me and continued. "Now, I do not want you staying in Winterfell long. I know you think you can talk some sense into Theon's thick head, but I highly doubt you can. I want you to get out of there before any fighting begins, preferably with Bran and Rickon."

"You know I'd do anything to save those two," I assured her. "If I had just stayed in Winterfell when the war started, Theon never would have taken it. If he had stormed through the gates all high and mighty, I would've laughed in his face. He isn't meant to lead people, not like that."

"No, he will never become a leader like his father."

"He's stupid like him though," I said with a sigh. "Fine, I'll see you at sunset. I need to redo my braids."

* * *

The ceremony was short. It bothered me this wasn't happening in front of a Heart Tree. I had never been a diligent follower of the Gods, but this felt unnatural. I repeated the words, though I didn't believe what came from my lips, but I had no other choice.

After the ceremony came the feast. It was a solemn affair, which was appropriate with the current situation at Winterfell. The selection of food was meager compared to what we would have had back home. There should have been guests from all Seven Kingdoms. Everyone was supposed to be dressed in their finest clothing. Though this had never been what I wanted, I couldn't help but think about my goals for this day as a child. The grandest wedding the North had ever seen, if not the whole realm, that's what I'd always said. This was not what anyone had planned. "Pour some more wine," I said, motioning to the cup barer.

"Are you trying to get me drunk?" Robb asked laughing.

"No, I'm trying to get me drunk. It's not proper for me to drink more than you." He shook his head, amused. In fact, I was trying to take a tip from Queen Cersei and get us both too drunk to remember anything about this night. I reached for my cup and drink it all in a single gulp. Forget being proper.

* * *

I opened the flap to my tent, Robb followed me inside. I had definitely had too much to drink, but at least my worries seemed distant and far away. Robb kissed me and moved his hands over my hips. He found the ties on the back of my dress and gave them a pull. The floaty summer fabric pooled around my feet. So this was really happening then, obviously I hadn't given him enough to drink.

Time seemed to have chunks cut out of it. Each time I blinked, I opened my eyes not quite recalling what had happened just a moment before. Robb's hands ran over my body, and he placed kisses down my neck.

It was quite outside the tent, but the fabric moved unnaturally. I knew a few people stood on the other side, listening and waiting. I considered that I could run. But where would I go? Essos, but with what ships? The Wall, and dress as a man to join the Night's Watch? The South, only to captured by the Lannisters? No, I was stuck. Trapped and caged like a wounded animal.

I had hardly noticed we had made it to my bed. We fell into a steady rhythm. Two bodies, two hearts, two different existences. My mind was a world away. 

Fire, honor, duty, family, blood. Words that had always defined me. Would I ever break free? Could anyone every redefine themselves? Was anyone actually free to choose their own destiny?

"I love you, Amina."

* * *

Aylward and I had been traveling for over a month. Soon we would arrive in Winterfell. However, I was positive I was going to die before I got there. It wasn't that I was ill-equpped for riding this long. I had made it to Storm's End and back, just fine. But I felt ill, I didn't want anything to do with food, I just wanted to sleep. "Stop!" I shouted. I yanked Myst's reins and practically collapsed to the ground. I heaved up what little breakfast I'd had. Aylward was by my side in an instant.

"Are you well?" He asked.

"Not in the slightest. Are you feeling sick?" I asked.

"It's just you, your grace."

"Check the food, I might have gotten food poisoning," I told him. I dry heaved, having nothing left to throw up.

"The food is fine. I believe you might be-"

"Gods!" I cursed. "One time, I only slept with him once! Help me up." I commanded him.

"Are you sure you're alright?" He asked pulling me up to my feet.

"I'm fine!" I snapped before mounting my horse again.

"We should turn back. You should be back in camp resting."

"I will be fine," I said calmly. "We're almost there." We rode in silence for hours until the sun went down. Of course this would happen. This was it, the beginning of the end. If I hadn't been trapped before, I certainly was now. This was not the state in which I wanted to meet Theon. I was too weak from lack of food, but I thought I might die if I had to throw up again. "Gods!" I cursed again. 

At least the Bolton soldiers hadn't seen me drop from my horse. They had stopped to camp father behind us. I would not look weak in front of men I did not trust.

There it was, Winterfell. The only home I'd ever know. But looking at it now, after so many things had happened, it only looked like a prison.


	8. Glory And Gore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out the Theon companion chapter in Different Lives, Different Destinies

_"[delicate in every way but one -- the swordplay](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSVBkD4IRhg)_   
_[god knows we like archaic kinds of fun -- the old way](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSVBkD4IRhg)"_

"We can still turn back my grace. Make camp and wait on Lord Bolton's men to reach us," Ser Aylward told me, as he rode up next to me. "They will be here within the week."

"No, I will ride into Winterfell and I will bring Bran and Rickon away from that place." I paused, "Without the Bolton men." I kicked Myst and she galloped on towards Winterfell. Ser Aylward's black horse followed closely, never letting me get too far ahead. The gates were surprisingly unmanned. I rode entirely into the courtyard before there were men in front of us, with swords drawn. I pulled three knives from the belt on my saddle. I flung them into the skulls of the Greyjoy men before Alyward even had the chance to draw his sword. I twirled two more knives as I located Theon across the courtyard. "You decide where these go."

"Amina," he addressed me.

"I believe it would be more appropriate for you to address me by my title, Lord Greyjoy."

"And what might that be?" He asked humoring me.

"Amina Stark, Queen in the North."

That caught him off guard, his façade slipped for a moment. "I should have your head, Queen," he said recovering.

"You could try, but I'll plant one of these lovely little blades in your skull before you get the chance to take a step. Do you really think your men will defend a dead lord?" I asked.

"I am Prince Greyjoy now," he said defensively.

I actually laughed then. "Look at you playing dress up, Theon. Remember when I used to braid your hair, you did have lovely hair, like a little girl." I believe a few of his men actually snorted at that. The teasing was unnecessary but I was angry. I would not kill him, but I wasn't above humiliation. He hated to be humiliated more than anything. "Tell me, Lord Greyjoy, has your father sent men to help you? Or a letter to say they're on their way?" He broke eye contact. "That's what I thought."

"You think a lone knight will protect you?" He asked, focusing the conversation back on me. "I have many men without knives in their skulls."

"I have more where those came from," I said narrowing my eyes. "I am the first and last Winterfell, blood of Old Valyria, raised by House Stark and now Queen in the North. You honestly want to test my power?"

He was silent and we stared each other down waiting to see who would break first. "I need to speak with Amina," Theon said glancing at his men. "Alone." I dismounted and took my time sliding the knife belt from my saddle and around my waist. I handed Myst's reins to Aylward. Then I followed Theon through the castle and up to the second floor. I knew which room Theon had taken before we even made it to the hall. "You're staying in Robb's room? How cute."

"Drop the act Amina, we're alone. I brought you up here so we could talk."

"Where are Bran and Rickon?" I asked.

"You're too late," He said. "They're gone."

"Gone," I repeated. He opened his mouth, but I spoke over him. "How could you do such a thing, Theon? I know why, you've always wanted to belong. You've always hoped you could make your father love you. But how could you kill two innocent children? I understand how could hate Ned, even Catelyn. But Bran and Rickon did nothing to do." My rage was so cold, so dark, I was sure he could see it in my eyes.

"Amin-"

"No. I changed my mind. I don't want to hear your excuses. Theon you are the closest thing I ever had to a brother, you were my friend. I thought you felt the same way, I know you did."

"I have a sister. Yara is my only sister."

"You don't know her!" I yelled at him. "I loved you! I still love you! You know me better than anyone, we were inseparable. What changed?"

"I was never good enough for you."

"What?" I asked. "What are you talking about?"

"You were always the Targaryen princess who was waiting for her throne. Now you have it. I was the only one who wasn't good enough for you. You fucked the rest of them and ignored the fact that I followed you around for years. You're just a whore who will do anything to wear a crown."

"My Gods, Theon! It was never like that with us! You never felt that way about me. You told me to drop the act, now it's your turn. Stop pretending like I wasn't the one person in this world who understood you. We were outsiders in this home, and we were there for each other. Stop pretending, Theon. This isn't a game, people are dying. You must stop."

"I can't," he said. His mask fell away. I could see that he was still the same scared little boy, he'd been when I tackled him in the courtyard so many years ago. He started to cry.

"Don't cry, I don't want to feel bad for you," I said, meaning to sound harsh. But it was no use, I felt for him already. "Why did we have to grow up?" I asked. He smiled, a sad broken smile.

"Things were so much better when we were kids. Amina, we could run. I know it'll be hard for you to forgive me, but you could try." He reached toward me. "I know you never wanted to marry Robb."

"Theon, I've gone through every option. There's no where I can go they won't find me. I couldn't even if I wanted to." I put my hands on my stomach. "Come back with me to camp, I'll make Robb forgive you. It'll be hard, things will never be the same between you, but in time maybe. I ask you as your Queen."

"I have no queen," he said. "Ask me as your brother."

"No, Theon-"

"If you want me to come with you, ask me."

"I can't do that. It's selfish for me to ask you to come back. Robb will have your head. It's safer you stay away. I can't ask you as your sister, because I know you'll say yes. Robb and I are brining a child into this war torn world, and I will not let it be corrupted by the Greyjoys. Leave Winterfell, go back to Pyke. Maybe one day we'll meet again." I shook my head. "If you stay here, I can't protect you."

"I'm never going to see you again, am I?" He asked. I knew in that moment he'd made his choice. He couldn't go back to Pyke empty handed.

"You're the one who said goodbye," I reminded him.

"I know."

"I will stay here tonight, unless you gave my room away to some whore. And then tomorrow you will let me and my knight leave without any trouble."

"You're leaving me in charge of Winterfell?" He asked skeptically.

"Make no mistake, Theon, people are coming for you. I should kill you myself, but I cannot. I can't hate my brother, no matter what he's done to me. You killed children. You killed the man that taught you to hold a sword." I shook my head. "You will die for what you've done. But I won't be there, I don't want any part in it, I don't even want to know how it happens. I'll never see you again and that's ok, I don't want to remember you like this anyway."

"You're writing me out of your life?" He asked.

"Don't pretend like you don't deserve it. I'll leave at dawn, if you're smart you won't be there to see me off." I turned and walked to the door.

"Goodbye, little deer."

I didn't stop walking. I couldn't bring myself to say it back, because then it would be real.

* * *

I stood in the middle of a lavish room, I recognized it instantly. It was Daenerys' room in Qarth. My eyes swept the room, looking for my sister. On the ground was a dead woman, one of Dany's handmaidens. I turned to the window, where the dragon crates were stacked. Each door was open, they were empty. "Dany!" I shouted. The doors flew open a moment later. She looked past me to the crates. 

"Where are my dragons?" She screamed. She turned on me, "Did you see who did this?"

I shook my head. "I only just arrived. I saw that girl, and I checked but-I'm so sorry."

"You did this, you found out I had dragons and you took them from me!"

"Daenerys! I would never betray you, you're my sister. I am not about to lose both my siblings in one day."

"If you didn't take them, who did?"

"I don't know. When I appeared in this room, this is what I saw. I screamed for you the moment I realized they were gone. Are you truly that distrustful of me? I only held Rhaegal for a moment, but I felt that connection. I would never take them away from you."

She shook her head. "I'm sorry, of course I trust you. You're my sister, I know you wouldn't betray me."

"You're upset, I know. We'll find them."

"How am I supposed to find them when I do not know who took them?" She was getting irritated again, for good reason. I put my hands on her shoulder.

"Daenerys, breathe. You will find them. I'll help you. They must be in the city still. I can feel someone waking me. Call upon me when you need my help."

"Soon."

* * *

Aylward and I gathered our things and left Winterfell. I looked at it as little as was possible, I didn't want to remember the way it looked now. Remembering the castle through the eyes of a child was better. I had once felt safe and loved here, but now it was just a black mark on the rolling green hills. Theon did not see me off, as I had suggested. His men moved aside reluctantly and let me pass, I had a feeling Theon would pay for letting me go so easily. But no man looked eager to die, so no man challenged my exit.

We rode hard and fast for two days, only stopping to eat and even then not if we could help it. I managed to control most of my nausea. The only time I had to abandon my horse for the trees was at about mid morning, and only on the second day. This of course would be the day we met The Bolton men.

"Is the Queen ill?" Ramsay, Roose's bastard son asked.

"I'm fine," I said standing. I waved Aylward away when he tried to help. "You'll reach Winterfell in a matter of days, how long will it be before you return with the prisoner?"

"Not sure, maybe a few months. I might want to play with him a little," he said. His smile was slimy and greasy. I didn't like this man, I didn't want him to lay a hand on Theon.

"Robb wants him brought back to camp alive," I tried.

"Are you sure you remember correctly? You are with child," he said tauntingly.

"Just because I'm-" I took a deep breath to compose myself. The last thing I needed was this man I already hated, claiming I was overly emotional and unstable. "Fine, kill the bastard. Why should I care?"

"Why should you care?" He repeated.

"The Queen should be on her way," Aylward said saving me from the conversation.

"Yes, your grace, you must rest," Ramsay said tauntingly. Aylward and I took off in the opposite direction.

"Than man makes my blood boil," I said.

"I agree. He's got as much good about him as a rotten ham," Aylward said.

"I don't want him near Theon, but I don't have a choice. It would treason for me to stop him."

"You have a soft spot for Theon," Aylward noted.

"Yes, I do. It's stupid after all the things he's done, but he should have a good death. Ramsay won't give him that." We rode in silence for quite some time. I couldn't speak for Aylward, but I was imagining the terrible things that might happen to Theon.

"You could run away," Aylward said simply.

"What?" I asked, jarred from my thoughts.

"I can help you find a ship and escort you to Essos," Aylward told me.

"I can't leave now. Besides, I'm more help to my sister here than there. Daenerys needs powerful allies in Westeros who have armies, like I do. Robb might take some convincing, but I'm sure he could see the benefits. He wouldn't have to become King, Dany and I could share the Iron Throne. The North would once again be its own free state."

"I see how staying here with your armies will help," he said.

"And even if Robb were to die, we're married now. I'm queen of the North, his armies are mine and they will help me take the throne."


	9. Bones

_"[lost in the pages of self made cages](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XybgKnfVCTE)_   
[ _life slips away and the ghosts come to play"_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XybgKnfVCTE)

When we arrived at camp the next day, I was bombarded with the news that I had missed. Jaime had escaped and killed two men. Jaime had been recaptured. Robb had gone to the Crag. I was pleased to hear the last bit. I wasn't quite ready to divulge any of the information from my trip to Winterfell. Catelyn made her way through the crowd to me. "Amina, I'm glad you made it back safely."

I nodded. "I have much to tell you and Robb, but it can wait until he returns. I'm feelings a bit fatigued." It wasn't a lie. Daenerys must have found a way to call me to her aid.

"What is happing in Winterfell, surely you can tell me that?" Catelyn asked desperately.

"Her grace has had little time to rest on our journey home. She needs to retire to her quarters," Aylward said, coming to my rescue. "When the King returns, I'm sure Amina will have much to say." He put his arm on my shoulder and steered me towards my tent.

"Thank you," I said. "I must lie down. You will stand by my tent until I awake. It is imperative no one enters and wakes me. Do you understand?"

"Your grace, I'm afraid I do not."

"My sister needs my help and I must go to her. I'll explain it all in time. Until then, please, Ser Aylward. Make sure no one wakes me, no matter what."

"Yes, my Queen." I pushed into my tent and practically passed out the moment my body hit the bed.

* * *

I awoke outside a tall ominous stone tower. I turned in a circle to look around my surroundings. "Dany?" I called out uncertainly.

"Oh good, you've arrived. It's time to go," Daenerys said. She stepped through the trees, flanked by Jorah and a Dothraki man.

"How did you call me?" I asked.

"I just focused on trying to get your attention. It appears to have worked."

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"To the House of the Undying," she said.

"That sounds unfavorable."

"That is where they are keeping our dragons," she said sharply. "We must go after them."

The Dothraki man sand something to her in his language. I looked between the two of them, waiting for their conversation to end. We stood on the steps of the tower, I peered around the side. It was perfectly round and didn't appear to have a door that I could see. I began to walk around the side.

A few moments later I heard, Dany call out to me. She ran to catch up with me, we continued around the tower together. "Where is the door?" I said frustrated.

"The warlocks here like playing tricks," she said unhappily. The next thing I knew, we were inside a stone staircase. It was dark in both directions, save for a single torch. I freed the torch from the wall and handed it to my sister. "Do you hear that?" She asked in a whisper. I could just make out the screech of baby dragons.

I yanked her by the arm up the stairs. "This way." The staircase seemed to go up forever, I thought we must be as high as the clouds by the time we reached the top. The cramped stairwell opened to a large room filled with doors. I could still hear the screeching, but it seemed to come from all directions. "We could split up," I suggested. "Search the rooms separately."

"It would be just like the warlocks to create rooms that stretch on for eons. It's best we stick together."

There it was again, magic. I would be crazy not to believe in it by this point. Dragons, dreams that took me half way across the world, towers with no doors. Magic was not something I had ever thought about before meeting my sister. My whole life I had been normal as I could be. But now I was beginning to discover the truth about the world, and finding out that I could never be normal.

"Which door do we chose?" I asked. Dany pushed open one of them and the sound of the dragons got louder.

"This one."

I followed her into a large ornate room. Snow fell from above. Daenerys touched it, like it was an unknown substance. I guess to her it might have been. I turned my attention to the room itself. Tall pillars stretched to the high ceiling. Stained glass windows bore the seven pointed star. "We're in the South," I noted. "I think-" I broke off when my eyes found the throne. It was massive and ominous. It had been made of the weapons of Aegon the Conqueror's enemies hundreds of years ago. "This is the throne room at King's Landing."

"The Iron Throne," Dany said mesmerized. We walked toward the throne. I reached out and touched one of the swords, it still looked sharp like you could rip it right off and fight with it. I had never been to King's Landing. The throne room that rightfully belonged to my family was more majestic that I had ever imagined. It was cold, and full of shimmering white snow, but I could imagine what it normally looked like.

"This will be ours one day," I said.

"We could sit on it now, just to see what it will feel like when we rule the Seven Kingdoms," She said. The Iron Throne was so large that my sister and I wouldn't even have to squeeze to fit. It looked so tempting to be Queen for a second.

"We should wait until our crowning day. That way when we sit in the throne for the first time, it will be special," I told her. "Besides this isn't real. This all a figment of our imagination, a trick."

"You're right," Dany said drawing back quickly. "We must carry on, our dragons are waiting."

We walked out of the throne room. I expected to still be in the Red Keep, but instead the doors opened to a snowy wonderland. I could see nothing but white before me, and behind me stretching high into the sky. My eyes adjusted, and I realized what I was looking at. "The Wall."

"The Wall that keeps creatures from Westeros?"

"Yes, that Wall." I glanced around, just like in the throne room, there was no one in sight. In the distance I could see trees. "I'll be right back," I said to Dany. When I turned toward her, she was distracted by a small tent. She wouldn't notice if I was gone for just a second.

I walked into the woods, and the environment changed. The snow melted to reveal plush green grass, and leaves sprouted on the trees. The weirwoods and the smell of grass was so familiar. I collapsed beneath them. "Ami?"

I pushed myself up quickly. Jon was standing there, just a few week away. I wanted to cry or scream, but instead I settled for flinging myself into his arms. "This isn't real," I murmured.

"It feels real," he said.

"It does," I sighed. I looked into his eyes and took a moment to memorize his face. He looked older, his face finally shedding some of that baby fat.

"Are you done?" He asked smiling. I shushed him. I ran my fingers through his curly mop of hair. Then wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him.

"Now I'm done."

"I miss you," he said, brushing my hair out of my eyes.

"You haven't found some Wildling girl to warm your bed?" I asked teasingly. A look crossed his face, something that I was sure I couldn't create in my own imagination. It was almost like a window to what was happening beyond the Wall. Could it be possible that the magic of the House of the Undying had linked Jon's dreams to mine? It seemed anything was possible with the warlocks.

"No one will ever replace you in my heart, ever. I want you to remember that, if I never see you again promise me you won't forget that."

"I love you," I said.

"I love you more than you will ever know."

"Then why did you leave me?" I asked, a little colder than I had expected.

"I thought it was what was best for you. I never wanted to force you to give up your dreams for me," he said.

"I never felt like that. If I had run away with you, it would have been because I wanted to, not because I felt some obligation to. Why can't this be real? Why can't we be back at Winterfell?" I looked around.

"This could be real," his voice almost seemed to come from the other direction.

"How?" I asked.

"Stay here. I don't care if this is a dream, I don't ever want to wake up if I don't get to wake up next to you."

A screech echoed through the woods. I was jarred from the moment, in fact I wasn't quite sure what the last thing he had said was. Maybe the warlocks hadn't created this, but they were messing with my perception now. "I have to go, I have a sister who needs my help." I turned away, sure that if I stayed one minute more I'd never be able to leave. He grabbed my wrist and I turned to face him again. I kissed him a final time and then stepped away. "This isn't goodbye."

I slipped between the trees, running my fingers over the bark. The trees opened up into another space. I was no longer in front of the Wall. I was back in the circular room with all the doors. But this time, Daenerys and I were not alone.

"Ah, there she is. I was beginning to wonder if she'd fallen into my dream world after all. I should've known she'd be stronger than that. I believe you are the older twin aren't you?" He asked. "Oh, but I guess you wouldn't know. That is a shame about you two being separated at birth. I would love to help you reunite, you are stronger together. And your strength fuels your dragons, which in turn give the warlocks all the power they could need." He paused and took a breath. "Yes, reuniting the Targaryen twins seems like a wonderful idea."

All of a sudden it felt like a boulder was being placed on my head. Every part of my body was being compressed from the inside out. I could hear someone screaming and I realized it was me.

"What are you doing to her?" Daenerys screamed.

"Don't you want to be reunited with your sister? I'm simply reaching through to where she sleeps and pulling her to you."

"Stop, you're hurting her!"

"It will only hurt for a minute."

I could feel everything slipping away. I could see the room, our dragons, this vision was clouded with pain. At the same time I could see the inside of my tent. Ser Aylward was shaking me as hard as he could. I tried to grab onto something, the bedding or Aylward's arm. But my fingers wouldn't move, it was as if I was paralyzed.

"Amina!" Dany screamed again.

"Dany, I can't be in both places! Do you need me here with you? I can stay here." I could barely get the words out between gasping breaths and moans of agony.

"Go! Find me when it's safe, go!"

* * *

I sat up in bed and clutched Alyward's arms tightly. He let out a massive sigh of relief. "You weren't breathing, I thought you were dead. I tried shaking you, but you wouldn't respond."

"I'm alright now, I'm fine." I stepped out of bed. My legs gave out under me. I looked down at them as I collapsed, the dress I was wearing was stained with blood.

"Medic! We need a medic!" Aylward yelled towards the flaps of the tent. A few minutes later, a tall skinny girl who had the appearance of a mouse entered. She ran around the side of the bed and knelt next to me. She handed me a glass of water from my bedside table and pressed some herbs into my hand for me to swallow. I took them with a gulp and rested my head on the bed behind me.

"I-I'm with child, is the baby-" I mumbled. She looked at me and then at my blood stained dress.

"I believe if you were once with child you are not any longer."

I stared at her a little in shock. Most of my dream visit with my sister was fuzzy except for the intense pain. I couldn't process anything this big right now. The girl helped me into a chair.

The next thing I knew it was sunset. I was wearing a clean night gown and I was being escorted back into a clean bed by one of my handmaidens.

Nightfall, only a few candles lit my room. Someone was speaking to me, was I sitting up? "Catelyn?" I asked.

"Yes?"

"When did you get in here?" I asked confused.

"We've been having a conversation for a while about-Never mind. It's obvious you need to rest." Catelyn helped my back into my bed and I fell asleep within minutes. This went on for days. Every moment was just out of my reach, dream or reality. All I could remember was the pain. Every night I'd wake up screaming. Sometimes Robb was there to comfort me, other times it was Catelyn or Aylward. I was trapped in a cage of my own making. Until finally I found the key, everything from the House of the Undying came rushing back. I was strong, I would not let that warlock beat me.


	10. Winter Girls

_"[I want them to see the absence of me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OzHJa9js3-Q)_   
_[I'm counting my bones, I'm twisting the thrones](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OzHJa9js3-Q)"_

I sat alone in my tent with a plate of grapes. I had waved my handmaidens away when they tried to braid my hair. I was just thinking I might have Aylward reassign them to someone who wanted to be fawned over. Just then, Aylward appeared. "My queen, we are beginning to pack up camp. We should be able to make it to Harrenhal today."

"Yes, of course. I'll just move outside and let them get my things," I said rising. Aylward reached for my plate to carry it for me, but I shook my head. "I'm not hungry. You can have them if you want."

"Amina, you haven't eaten a full meal in days. Robb is beginning to worry about your health." He put a hand on my arm

"I'm fine!" I snapped moving away from his touch. At Aylward's surprised expression I took a deep breath. Calmly I repeated, "I'm fine. Just adjusting."

"You have been spending lots of time alone. It's starting to worry me as well." He placed a hand on my shoulder, this time I didn't jerk away.

"I've been sleeping, trying to reach my sister. Unfortunately the little sleep that does come is entirely dreamless. I have no way of knowing if she's even still alive."

"If she's anything like you, I'm sure she is. I cannot imagine a Targaryen going down without a fight." He grinned at me. I threw my arms around him and hugged him tightly. He stood stunned for a moment before carefully hugging me back.

"I'm so glad I have you as a friend. You are all I have left, you know," I told him, grabbing his arms and making him look at me.

"You have Robb, and Catelyn," he reminded me.

"Since Catelyn freed Jaime Lannister, I've barely had a chance to speak to her. And Robb...I can hardly look at him."

"Because of your child?" He asked.

"Not just that. I saw Jon. I saw him, it wasn't a trick. I saw him, and he saw me too. I can't give up on him. That's why I must get back to my sister. She can help me." Aylward stared at me blankly, I'd lost him. "Oh Gods!" I sat on my bed with my head in my hands.

"What's wrong?"

"I sound insane! Maybe I'm going mad just like my father." Aylward rubbed my back reassuringly. "I can't even keep a secret. Not that it matters, since half the world seems to know my business already."

"Who is Jon?" He asked.

"The man I love." He started to speak but I cut him off. "Before you say anything, I know I'm married to Robb. I know I have a duty as Queen. But I can't bear it! I cannot take another day of this insufferable war!"

"It will all end, maybe not tomorrow but one day. You just need patience."

"Patience is a virtue I never mastered."

"Amina?" Robb called from outside the tent.

"Gods," I sighed standing quickly. "Coming!" I glanced at Aylward who was still watching me closely. "I'll be alright. I just need a good night's sleep."

* * *

Just as Aylward had said, we arrived in Harrenhal by mid afternoon. Even from a mile out you could tell the place was deserted. I couldn't imagine anyone willingly occupying the decrepit old castle. But not long ago, Tywin Lannister's army had held it.

We marched through the gates and stopped when we saw bodies hanging from almost every wall. "Oh how horrid," I said to no one in particular. I dismounted Myst and followed the others into the castle. Once inside the courtyard, we realized just how many bodies had been left behind.

Robb grabbed my hand and tried to steer me away. "You shouldn't have to see this."

"I'm fine, I can handle it." I looked straight into a dead man's glassy eyes to prove my point. My stomach churned, the smell was disgusting, but I wasn't about to let Robb see that.

Catelyn stood beside me and looked at the man. "That was one of my father's banner men," she said quietly. I looked at the ground, unable to bear looking at him a moment longer.

"Find her a room to serve as a cell," Robb said to one of his soldiers. They took Catelyn away quickly and I looked back at him.

"She's your mother, Robb."

"She betrayed us," he told me.

"She did it because she loves Sansa and Arya, just like us. Yes, she was wrong in the way she went about things, but that doesn't make her evil."

"I can't let it go unpunished."

"May I visit her later?" I asked. I had plans to go no matter what he said, but I thought it would be appropriate to at least try and ask first.

He looked a bit surprised but nodded once. "Yes, of course."

The mousy nurse who tended to me while I was on bed rest called out to us. I had learned her name was Talisa the second time she'd come. "This man is still alive!" We went to her quickly. She began pulling things out of her bag. I could tell she wasn't going to need my help, so I excused myself.

"I'm going to see Catelyn," I told Robb, touching him lightly on the shoulder. I motioned to one of the soldiers and he led me up the stairs to where they had taken her. He opened the door to let me in, then closed it tightly behind me after I'd entered.

"Amina, it's been awhile since I've spoken with you," Catelyn greeted me. She stood up and hugged me. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you as well."

"Are you still upset with me, about Robb?"

I shook my head. "You did what you thought was best."

"I'm so sorry about what happened-"

"I would prefer not to dwell on it," I said cutting her off. "I came to talk to you about my sister. Ever since that night my dreams have stopped coming and I haven't been able to contact her. You appear to be the only person who even remotely understands this bond. I was hoping you'd have some advice about what I could do to bring the dreams back."

"I do not know much, unfortunately. The only thing I can recommend is to take something to help you sleep. Maybe ask your nurse if she has some herbs you can mix with tea."

I nodded. "I should've tried that sooner." I paused for a moment before speaking again. "Do you know of a way to contact someone else through the dreams? Someone who isn't my twin, I mean?"

"I've never heard of that being possible. Truthfully, most people don't even believe in the power of the twin bond, it's rare magic. Who is it you want to contact?"

"Margery," I lied, saying the first name that came to mind. When Catelyn frowned I quickly corrected myself. "Or Sansa and Arya, but something tells me Margaery would be more receptive. The girls are so guarded, and we were never that close."

"Always one of the boys," she said patting my arm.

"I miss them, Jon and Theon" I told her. "I miss what it was like when we were kids. When we didn't have to worry about war, or who was King. Things were so much easier then."

"Childhood often is," Catelyn said. "But now you're a woman, and beyond that a Queen. You have responsibilities. As much as you want to, there is no running away from destiny."

"How can you say for certain what my destiny is? How could anyone know?"

"Amina, look around you. These people, _your_ people, trust you. They want you to be there Queen, as much as they want Robb to be their King."

"That doesn't make something destiny. Daenerys and me on the throne, that is destiny. It's our birthright." I rubbed my head. "That's why I came in here, for advice. Not for some lecture on destiny. I should be going. It's improper for the Queen to be fraternizing with a traitor."

* * *

I left the walls of Harrenhal. I needed a moment to myself, and the air in the destroyed castle was still scented with decay. I heard footsteps behind me, but didn't turn to look. I knew who it was before he wrapped his arms around me.

"You've been avoiding me," Robb said quietly, his lips close to my ear.

"I haven't."

"Then you've been doing a very good job making it look that way."

"You know I like time to myself."

"You always have, but you've never had a guard keeping me from visiting you before.

"I've been…" I started to tell him about Daenerys but changed my mind. He kissed the side of my head.

"I miss the kids too, and Jon" he shook his head. "Even Theon, the bastard. I'm sorry you've been so isolated."

"It's alright," I said quietly. Robb always knew what was on my mind. Since that night, everyone had been treating me like I was so fragile. But, what I really needed was a friend. Robb had always understood me. It was why we had once been so close.

"I know that-" he hesitated before continuing "I know that you don't love me the way I love you, you never have. But I want us to be a team. I don't think I can do this without you."

"We are a team." Even as I said it I knew it wasn't true. I had barely spoken to him in weeks, I had spent all my time trying to be somewhere else. "I want to work together," I corrected myself.

He smiled and brushed my hair out of my eyes. I kissed him lightly. "I love you," he told me. I didn't say anything, just kissed him again. "What did you and Catelyn talk about?" He asked after a moment.

"There's something I should probably tell you." He nodded for me to continue, he looked as if he was preparing for terrible news. "I have a sister, a twin, across the Narrow Sea."

He looked surprised, whatever he thought I was going to say, this wasn't it. "How did you find out?"

"I had a dream or something like that, while I was in Storm's End. I asked Catelyn and she told me the truth. Apparently Ned found out while in King's Landing and sent a letter back."

"What is she like?"

"A lot like me. She is a Khaleesi, it's like a queen in those parts. She's an amazing leader, she truly loves her people."

"She does sound like you."

"She's hoping to make it to Westeros. Do you know what that would mean for us? Two armies, double the strength. We could take King's Landing and overthrow Joffrey. Everything could be normal again."

"I don't believe things will ever go back to normal, but I do understand. Does she have a way across the sea?"

"I don't know." I leaned my head on his shoulder. "I don't even know if she's alive right now! That's why I was talking to Catelyn. I've been sleeping without dreaming. If I can't dream, I can't reach her. The last time I saw her we were being attacked by a warlock. The night I got back from Winterfell."

"When you lost our child." I nodded. "What happened?"

"I don't know. All I remember is thinking I was dying. Magic is a deadly thing."

"Is it too dangerous for you to return?" I liked that he asked, instead of trying to convince me not to go. 

"Maybe, but I can't abandon her. She needs my help. I promise I'll protect myself."

"I wish I could go with you."

"But you can't," I told him. "If you see Talisa, could you have her send me some sleeping tea?"

He nodded. "Goodnight, my Queen."

"Goodnight."

* * *

Talisa was more than happy to prescribe the sleeping tea. Apparently she also agreed that I needed more rest. I was already drowsy after the first cup, and after the second I fell asleep before I could even put the mug on the table.

The first thing I saw was trees. It took me a moment to realize where I was and when I did I groaned. I knew I wasn't with my sister. I sat under my favorite weirwood tree and ran my finger over the heart I'd carved in the wood years ago. I noticed something around my finger and realized I had the black ribbon twisted about my finger like a ring. The ribbon was whole, not frayed as it was now. I was having a real dream. "Jon?" I called without even noticing I was speaking. There was a rustling noise in the trees and the crackle of fallen leaves, but no spoken response. "This isn't funny, we don't have much time before Catelyn comes looking for me. I have lessons with Sansa this afternoon!"

He swung out of the trees and landed next to me. "Don't be so cross. I'm the one who's supposed to be moody, aren't I?"

"You always are."

"Not when I'm with you." He grinned and I kissed him. I remembered this day. Not dream then, a memory.

"Theon caught me sneaking out today," I told him.

"What did you tell him?"

"That I was hiding from Sansa and not to tell Catelyn where I'd gone. I don't think he believed me."

"He'd never tell on you."

"Never." I tugged lightly at the pendant around my neck. "Sometimes I wish I had a sister."

"You have two, Sansa and Arya."

"No, a real sister. Someone just like me who I could talk to about everything. Sansa is too prissy and Arya is too young. I have you, Theon, and Robb of course, but some things you just can't talk about with boys!" I remembered this conversation exactly. It was funny how it had come true. Suddenly the ground started to shift. I grabbed for Jon's hand but the memory of me didn't reach for him. Quickly the image was replaced by another.

Bright light surrounded me. I could smell the salty scent of the sea. It mingled with the sharp, dirty scent or a city. I had never been to the coast, so this couldn't be a memory. "Amina!" A voice cried. I turned just in time to be scooped into my sister's arms. "When you disappeared, I was afraid you'd died! It's been months!"

"I've been trying my hardest to reach you. I've been so drained since our trip to the House of the Undying, I couldn't make it back until now."

"I'm so glad you're here." She turned looking for someone. "Jorah! She's here!" Jorah turned around and smiled at me. He walked towards us and gave me a pat on the shoulder.

"Daenerys had been worried sick, glad to see you're finally back," he told me.

"I am quite glad to be back." I paused and glanced around. "Back to where exactly? This is certainly not Qarth."

"After you vanished, we managed to secure a ship to travel from Qarth to Astapor. We're hoping to find an army here so we can travel to Westeros," Dany told me.

"That is the best news I've heard in weeks!" I said.

"You are just in time to survey the army with us," Jorah informed me.

"Soon you will have to see how big our dragons have gotten!" My sister said smiling.

"Hello," a woman said walking towards us with an older bald man behind her. "I am the translator for the slave master Kraznys. Is your party ready to view the Unsullied?"

Daenerys and I nodded in sync and the two of us followed the man and woman as they told us about the army. We walked over a walkway into a separated courtyard area. A small army of soldiers stood in lines. The man, Kraznys, spoken in Valyrian as the woman translated. I recognized a few words from my lessons, but I had never been good at foreign languages. The translator explained how the men before us would stand until they dropped. We walked through them, the parted to let us pass. "How are they trained?" Dany asked. The woman explained quickly, while the slave trader illustrated his point. Kraznys walked up to one of the soldiers and chopped off his ear. The man didn't even flinch.

"That is quite impressive," I mumbled to my sister. "Impressive but disturbing." She nodded shortly. "How many do you have to sell?" I asked. The woman translated and the man held up eight fingers. "Eight thousand is a sizable army," I said nodding my approval.

The three of us left and walked near the water. As Jorah and Daenerys discussed the slave soldiers, I watched the waves. I had never seen the sea before. It had such a strange lulling rhythm, I thought I might be able to get caught up in its steady crashing forever. I wondered if Theon felt the same way when he looked at the sea in Pyke. Daenerys caught sight of a child, and followed him. Jorah walked along with her, telling her that she would make a better owner to soldiers than any other. "I think they would be a good investment," I told her.

"Your sister knows what she is talking about, she has an army of her own," Jorah said to Daenerys. Dany continued to follow the child, until he stopped and threw a ball to my sister. The boy mimed twisting it open, and Daenerys smiled as she started to open it. Suddenly she was knocked to the ground by a man in a black cloak. A creature launched itself from the ball and toward my sister. The cloaked man stabbed the bug before it could strike. I grabbed Daenerys' hand and pulled her toward me. The boy disappeared into an alley.

"The warlocks," Dany mumbled. The man in the cloak removed his hood and looked at us.

"I have been looking you, Daenerys. I was once the leader of your father's kingsguard. I betrayed him, now I wish to right my wrong by pledging to protect you, if you will allow it," the man said. "I am Ser Barristan Selmy."

"I recognize the name," I said.

"Forgive me, I do not know you. You two look very similar, save for your hair," Ser Barristan said.

"I am Amina Stark, Queen in the North," I told him.

It appeared I had caught him off guard. "Your grace, how is it that you come to be in Essos when your war is being fought many leagues away?"

"The bond of a twin is a very curious thing," I replied.

"Stark and Targaryen, ice and fire, joined together though the blood of sisters. What an honor it would be to serve you both."


	11. King And Lionheart

_"[and as the world comes to an end](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A76a_LNIYwE)_   
_[I'll be there to hold your hand](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A76a_LNIYwE)"_

I was jarred awake and opened my eyes to see Aylward standing over me. "Aylward!" I snapped. "How many times have I told you not to wake me up?"

"Your grace, I apologize, but there has been news from Winterfell."

"News?" I asked. I sat up and slid out of bed reluctantly. "What sort of news?"

"Theon has burned the castle."

"What?" I gasped. "Why would he-?"

"Why has Lord Greyjoy done anything he has done in the past few months?"

I rubbed my eyes and tried not to think too much about him. "What else?"

"No one knows where the boys are. There is a chance they escaped, of course."

"No, there isn't," I said quietly. "Didn't you see the bodies? Two little children's bodies hanging above Winterfell, burned to a crisp. They're dead."

"It could have been-"

"Who else?" I asked. I waited for him to answer but he was quiet and I shook my head. "Exactly."

"You should tell them the truth. Catelyn has a right to know, Robb too."

"I can't, Aylward. I cannot look at Catelyn and watch a little bit more of the light fade from her eyes. She's my mother, I have to protect her."

"It's crueler to let her have hope for an impossible outcome."

"I did not ask your opinion," I said quietly. "Leave me, I can find my own way out of my room." He looked at me for a moment before nodding and walking away. I dressed slowly. I wasn't in any hurry to face Robb or Catelyn.

When I finally went downstairs, I found them almost immediately. They were talking in hushed voices. I tried to back away, but Catelyn noticed me. "Amina," she called. She looked incredibly tired. It was obvious she was sleeping even less than I was.

"Have you heard?" Robb asked.

"That Theon has officially lost the last of his sanity? Yes, Aylward informed me this morning." My tone was bitter, both towards my lost best friend and my current guard. Neither of the Starks appeared to notice.

"Amina, tell me, was there any sign of the boys while you were in Winterfell?" Catelyn asked.

"I never saw them," I lied.

"What about your soldier? He went in with you did he not?"

"He stayed near the gates while I talked to Theon."

"What did Theon have to say?" She asked.

"I don't-It's hard to remember much. That day and the trip back are blurry. If he had said anything about the boys, I'm sure I would have made him give them to me. Maybe they escaped. I doubt that Theon would want to tell me that he'd lost them." I was doing the exact opposite of what Aylward had suggested. "Was there any other news?"

"Word came from Riverrun as well," Robb said. "The Lord of Riverrun has died."

"Grandfather?" I had the most confusing family tree. But Catelyn's family had always been part of my own. It had been years since Hoster Tully had visited Winterfell, but I had always adored him. He had told me when I was very young to call him grandfather. He said he wasn't having some little Lady call him by his title.

"We're leaving for Riverrun later today for his funeral," Robb told me.

I nodded. "I'll pack my things." I squeezed Catelyn's hand and kissed Robb's cheek, before returning to my room.

* * *

I was in the woods. Bran was there with a bow and arrow and he was staring intently up at the trees where a crow was sitting. "Don't think too much, Bran," Jon said. I glanced and saw him beside me.

"Relax your bow arm," Robb said from the other side.

"Don't forget to breathe," I added. Bran let the arrow fly and missed the crow. The three of us onlookers laughed.

"Which one of you was a marksman at ten?" Ned called.

"Ami was!" Jon said shoving me playfully. We laughed again. Suddenly I realized that I was laughing alone. Robb and Jon had disappeared, leaving me with Bran. "This is a dream, isn't it?" I asked. It had taken me a moment to remember I was not in Winterfell. I would probably never be in Winterfell again.

"Yes, I'm dreaming," Bran said. I found his choice of pronoun odd but let it slide. This was a dream after all.

"I went to Winterfell to look for you and Rickon." I shook my head. "I can't believe Theon would do something so horrible."

"He's changed," Bran said nodding.

"I miss you. We all do." I began to feel myself fade away and Bran watched me curiously until I was gone. I woke up slowly. Much more easily than when Aylward shook me awake. I was getting quite tired of being jarred awake. I got up, dressed, and went to fetch Myst. We'd already been traveling for some time, but we still had more ground to cover.

"You know you have handmaidens for a reason," Aylward said, coming up beside me.

"I left them in Harrenhal," I told him. "I can take care of myself for a few weeks without imploding, I believe."

"You are quite different from a normal queen," he mused.

"And how many queens have you known?" I asked.

"Oh just Margery, though I expect Cersei is much the same. Probably Stannis's queen too, the poor broad."

"Selyse is ill, she is a special case. Though I guess you are probably right about Cersei and Margery."

"Did you tell them about Bran and Rickon?" He asked, abruptly changing the subject.

"I lied," I said. "Before you lecture me about how I shouldn't give them false hope-"

"You did the right thing," he said.

"I did?"

"Telling them the truth would have crushed them. Especially after Catelyn heard about her father. I do not typically condone lying, but I understand why you chose to keep this from them."

"I had a dream about Bran."

"A dream or a projection?" He asked.

"Catelyn said she didn't think there was a way for me to communicate with anyone other than Daenerys."

"Maybe you weren't the one initiating the communication."

"You think he's alive?"

"You tell me."

"He said something in the dream that struck me as odd. When I asked if it was a dream, he answered that he was dreaming, not that I was."

"Maybe he didn't realize he was actually talking to you."

"But I saw his body, he can't be alive."

"You saw a body. You said yourself, it was burned to a crisp. It was impossible to distinguish. That body could have belonged to anyone."

"Now who's the one spreading the hope?"

* * *

Later, when we stopped for a rest I noticed Catelyn weaving something. I pulled Myst to the side and motioned to one of the men to tie her to a tree. "I've seen those before, but you've never told me what they were."

"Prayer wheels, they are made by a mother to protect her children. I hung one in your room whenever you ran off. You always came back unharmed."

"And when Bran fell from the window," I remembered.

"He lived through that," she said. "I'm sure you don't remember, but when you were very little one of the boys came down with the pox. I made one of these then and sat by his bedside all night while he coughed and cried until dawn. We weren't sure if he would live."

I shook my head. "I don't remember. Which boy was it?"

"Jon," she answered.

"Oh," I murmured. It was odd to talk about Jon when I hadn't seen him in such a long time, not in person at least.

"When Ned brought him home, I was so angry. I prayed to the Gods that they would take this boy away. I never wanted to think about what Ned had done. Then he came down with the pox. I knew I was horrible for ever having wished something like that on a poor innocent boy. I prayed and prayed for the Gods to save him. I promised that, if he survived, I would love him as much as I did you and Robb. I even said I would tell Eddard to just change his name to Stark and get it over with." She shook her head.

"You never kept that promise," I whispered.

"No, I didn't. Everything, all this, is my punishment for wishing harm on that boy so many years ago. I couldn't love him, despite that everyone else in our family did."

"This isn't your fault," I told her.

"I was able to love you despite where you come from, but I couldn't love Jon. I'm not sure which is worse. That I was so quick to love the daughter of the mad king, or that I couldn't love a motherless boy."

"Cat-"

"I wanted Ned to send him away when he turned sixteen. When you and Robb went to visit the estates of our banner men, someone was supposed to escort Jon to the wall."

"You were going to send him away, just like that? Without even giving us the chance to say goodbye?"

"I know about what happened the night before you left. I caught Theon in the hall coming down from Jon's room and made him tell me what had happened. It would have been better for you, if I had gone through with sending him away. It would have been less painful for both of you."

"You knew, all this time?"

"Of course I did. I told you I knew more about what went on in my home than you thought."

"And you let it happen anyway?"

"There wasn't any stopping it."

* * *

I found Robb sharpening his sword away from the rest of the group and walked over to join him. I glanced around and grabbed one of the smaller men's swords. "Spar with me," I told Robb.

"I'm not in the mood, Amina."

"I know, that's precisely why you need to. Come on, take your stance." He hesitated so I grabbed his arm and pulled him into position like he was a toy figure. I took a step back and assumed my own stance. "Are you going to just stand there?" I asked. When he didn't make a move toward me, I pushed the blade against his chest. "Are you going to let me win just like that? Where's that competitive sprit?"

He knocked my sword away from him quickly and I grinned. He lunged for me and I blocked quickly and pushed toward him. I preferred to play offense. He took a few steps back. When he wobbled, I went to knock his sword out of his hand, but he moved suddenly towards me and I lost grip of my own sword. He held his against my neck and smiled. "I win."

"Very clever, making me think you'd lost your balance. I should have known better than to fall for that one. I came up with it." He lowered his sword.

"It was the only way you could ever beat Jon."

"And now it seems I can't even beat you," I said.

"You didn't try too hard to win."

I hit his shoulder lightly. "You aren't supposed to know that." He dropped his sword to the ground and wrapped one of his arms around my waist. "I love you, even if you don't let me win."

"I love you too." He kissed me and I leaned into him without even thinking about it.

I pulled back and grinned. "So, do we have a knife throwing contest next, or should we shoot arrows?"

"I'll let you choose."

"Knives then, I know I'll win."

* * *

That was how Catelyn found us later that evening, throwing my blades into a makeshift target. Robb had decent aim but I could throw blindfolded, I was a much better thrower than a sword fighter. "Reliving your childhood are we?" Catelyn asked as she walked over.

"Well, we needed something to keep busy," I told her.  
"The two of you missed supper," she informed me. "I had Aylward save you a plate."

"We'll be done in a moment. Only two more knives left," I said rolling mine between my hands.

"Alright, I'll see you in the morning," he hugged both of us before leaving.

"Where were we?" Robb asked.

"I was beating you."

"We might as well call it now. I'm obviously not winning tonight."

"Oh fine, I'll spare you the embarrassment of actually losing." We went to the target and gathered all my daggers. I slid them back into their various homes. Six in my pack, eight strapped to my saddle bag, two in each boot, and one in the band around my arm.

"You are quite armed for a Lady. You know we have guards and soldiers for that."

"I prefer to not rely on others for my protection. I'm quite attached to my life. I'd rather I was the one to defend it." He walked me back to my tent and we stopped outside.

"Goodnight, my Queen."

I made a face. "Please don't call me that."

He smiled and kissed me. "Goodnight, Amina."

He started to walk away but I grabbed his arm. "You don't have to leave, we are married after all." He hesitated and I tugged him into the tent. "Come on, it's cold out here and I'm exhausted." I didn't even bother changing. I just fell into bed and let Robb wrap me in his arms. I had forgotten how comfortable he was. It was like rediscovering your childhood blanket, that you'd long since forgotten. For a moment I could close my eyes and pretend I was home. I drifted to sleep without saying another word.


	12. Dirty Paws

_"[the sky wasn't big enough for them all](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mCHUw7ACS8o)"_

When we arrived in Riverrun, we were greeted by Brynden and Edmure Tully. "No Lysa?" I asked Robb quietly.

"I guess she couldn't make it from the Eyrie," he told me. I couldn't say I was particularly unhappy about this. I had never liked Lysa much. Frankly, I didn't like either of Catelyn's siblings.

"Amina, dear, aren't you looking lovely," Edmure said. He hugged me and I made a face at Robb over Edmure's shoulder.

"Thank you, you're looking older," I said, smiling sweetly. His cocky attitude faltered a bit, but he smiled anyways. Before he could say anything else, I was being lifted off the ground.

"How is the Queen in the North?" Brynden asked me sitting me down. I sighed and shook my head. "Bad question, yeah?"

"It's been ages since I've seen you!"

"I'm surprised you remember me at all. You were nine or ten the last time I saw you."

"Of course I remember you. You're in the only generation of Tullys worth remembering, save Cat of course."

He snorted. "I take it you've gotten to know my nephew's finer traits?"

"If by finer, you mean botching the easiest command Robb could have given him. Which caused us much more trouble than we needed. Then yes, we have been acquainted."

"You haven't changed in the slightest." He patted me on the shoulder. "We should follow the others to the river." We joined the others on the walk to the river, where we would send Hoster's body downstream.

I walked ahead to join Catelyn and Robb near the front. We stopped on the pier, Robb and Brynden lowered Hoster's boat into the river. Edmure got ready to fire his arrow to set the boat aflame. I could tell before he even took his shot that he was going to miss. When the arrow hit the water, I sighed quietly. He reached for another arrow and tried again. This one, like the other, hit the water. I pinched my wrist to keep from laughing. "Maybe I should try," I murmured to Robb. I watched as Edmure failed to hit his target for the third time. Brynden pushed Edmure out of the way and grabbed the bow and arrow. Brynden checked the wind and set up his shot, of course his arrow landed exactly where it was supposed to. I squeezed Catelyn's hand comfortingly. "Come on, we should go inside. It's chilly."

She nodded and let me lead her back into the castle. "You should go with Robb, talk to Edmure about battle plans," she said calmly.

"Robb can handle a bit of planning without me. You need someone right now," I told her. We went up to her old room.

"I should have brought you and the other children here to visit years ago," she said.

"It's beautiful," I said. She sat in the window and I joined her.

"Out of all the children, you were my father's favorite. He thought you were tougher than Robb and smarter than Sansa. Arya was very young and Bran and Rickon weren't born yet, the last time he visited Winterfell. He was pleased Eddard and decided to marry you to Robb, he knew you would be important. He was always right."

"Sansa is smart," I admitted. "Whether I'm smarter, I don't know, but she does deserve some credit."

"Both the girls admired you, you know."

"Arya did, I helped teach her how to fight." Cat shook her head, still disapproving even after all this time.

"Sansa wanted to be effortless. But she isn't like you or Margery. You know how to command a room, you can have everyone doing as you ask in a moment. Sansa never would have admitted she wanted to be like you, but I knew."

"I never realized I would miss her so much. You don't know how much a person means to you until they're gone."

"Isn't that the truth," she said. She looked out the window at the river.

"I'll let you have your peace," I told her. She smiled sadly as I left. I bumped into Brynden in the hall. "How did the chat with Edmure go?" I asked.

"Oh, I got a chance to speak my mind about his mistake, it went well."

"If only he weren't so careless. Strategy is more important than force, especially with our numbers."

"Something I've learned about Edmure, he'll always be careless. It's in his nature."

"I'm going to find Robb. You should talk to Catelyn. She could use some family right now."

* * *

"I would have given Edmure a harsher punishment," I told Robb when I found him.

"He's Catelyn's brother."

"And that makes him less incompetent? That isn't a quality we can afford to have in our armies," I noted. "Brynden would make a much better Lord of Riverrun."

Robb smiled. "Does anyone still call him Brynden besides you?"

"I've never cared much for nicknames." I shook my head. "If it were not for Edmure, we would be another step closer to defeating the Lannisters."

"I know."

"And the closer we are to defeating the Lannisters, the closer we are to winning this war."

"I know," he repeated.

"We need more men. If we had the Tyrell army, things would be so much better. Last I heard, Margery had been swept off to King's Landing to marry Joffrey."

"You don't think I've heard this before, Amina?" Robb asked sounding frustrated. "I listen to this from our scouts, from my bannermen, from my mother. I don't need to hear the same from you too."

"I'm sorry. It's just that I want this war to be over so much, I forget that I'm not the only person affected by it."

"I'm sorry too. I did not mean to yell at you." He reached for my hand, I let him lace his fingers with mine. "I don't want you to feel alone."

"Where there is unity there is always victory."

* * *

"There you are, I've been calling you for ages," Daenerys said.

"Sorry, I was dealing with some family issues," I told her.

"We have a meeting with Kraznys to discuss the buying of the Unsullied."

"So you decided then?"

"We're still considering our options," Jorah said. Daenerys gave him a look that said he should stop trying to speak for her.

"Well, we should be going then," I said. Jorah and Ser Barristan fell in behind us.

"How is the war on your front?" My sister asked me.

"It would be better if my uncle wasn't incompetent."

"Uncle?" She asked.

"My foster mother's brother. I refer to most of her family as my own."

She nodded slowly. "Do they know about you?"

"Hoster, Catelyn's father, did. But we just laid him to rest this morning."

"I'm sorry," she offered her sympathy awkwardly, but I appreciated the effort. "Will they help us when I arrive?"

"I don't know about Cat's brother, but her uncle will I'm sure. Having Brynden on our side is worth a thousand Edmures. I told Robb about you, he was confused but he wasn't upset."

"Good, then another army we shall have. Our odds look better by the day, sister."

We walked onto a wall bordering the sea. Along the edge, men were tied to posts. Daenerys glanced at the men flanking us. "They display criminals here to warn others of their fate," Jorah explained.

I was no stranger to punishment. I had seen Ned behead men for deserting the Wall. If a punishment wasn't enforced, then it didn't matter. It was the follow through that made it real. Daenerys took Jorah's water and went to the prisoner we were closest to. I reached for her arm, but she shook me off lightly. She walked up the stairs to him and offered the prisoner some of the water. He turned his head from her.

"We should leave here. We can find mercenaries for sale in Pentos," Barristan said.

"The Unsullied are the perfect soldier," I told him. "I've seen many men desert during this war, not my men but the Lannisters'. Not that the Lannisters need all their men," I mumbled. "We will never have to worry about deserters with the Unsullied."

"Tell me, Lady Stark." I cringed slightly when Barristan called me that. "Why do your soldiers fight for you?"

"Our men fight for us because they are loyal to the North. They love Robb and they loved Eddard before him."

"The Unsullied love no man," Barristan said.

"They hate no man either, they simply do as they are told," I told him. "Also, I would rather you simply refer to me as Amina."

He nodded. "Certainly, Amina."

"We need the Unsullied. I have men that will follow me into battle because they believe in me. What we need are men who will do as they are told," I explained to my sister.

"And you disagree, Ser Barristan?" She asked.

"I was there when Rhaegar fought in Robert's Rebellion. His men died for him because they loved them, not because someone had trained them to."

"And what happened to him?" I asked. "Oh, I remember, he was killed."

We walked into the fortress where Kraznys, his translator, and another man were waiting. Daenerys walked ahead of me. "Have you come to a decision?" The translator asked her.

"I would like to buy them all," Daenerys said calmly. I glanced at Ser Barristan as if to say I told you so, but he was focused on my sister.

There was chatter among the men in Valyrian and the translator watched. I could catch a single word, but I could tell from the girl's face that the men were not saying very considerate things. Finally she spoke, "There are 8,000 Unsullied in Astapor, is this what you mean by all?" she asked.

"Yes," Daenerys answered.

"And the ones still in training as well," I added taking a step forwards. My sister nodded at me. We waited while the men chattered again.

"Master Greizhen says they cannot sell the untrained."

"We can train them as we go," I told Dany. "We'll need them if we plan on fighting the Lannister armies."

"We will take them all," she said.

The woman translated as the men told us we wouldn't be able to afford all the soldiers. "He's right. I don't think I could even send enough money from the North, not with the war going on."

"I have Dragons, I'll give you one."

I tried to hide my surprise. I had learned quickly not to question my sister's actions. I was in my element making deals with Westerosi. Daenerys was in her element here, in Essos, dealing with these people. She knew what she was doing. She discussed the trade of a dragon with the slave owners. She agreed to give the largest, Drogon. She also asked for the translator as a gift.

"Amina, if you could fetch the girl. I need to speak with my advisors," she said walking out. I waited as the translator came down the stairs to meet me. Then we followed my sister outside.

"How long have you been working for him?" I asked her.

"Most of my life, your grace."

"Do you have a name?"

"Missandei," she replied.

"My sister will need your help when I am not around," I told her. She looked curious but kept silent. "You may ask questions if you have them. It is important you are well informed if you are to join us."

She nodded. "Are you gone often?"

"I spend far more time away than I do here. While I may seem solidly here I am also solidly across the Narrow Sea in Westeros at this very moment. I have an army there that I hope will meet my sister's when she arrives."

"I will do what she asks."

"War is a dangerous game, Missandei. If you have a family, she will let you go back to them. If you do not wish to be taken to endure a war, she will let you go." Missandei nodded as we met Daenerys, Jorah and Barristan outside.

Daenerys looped her arm through mine and leaned towards me. "Do not worry, my sister. I know what I'm doing."


	13. Castle

_"[if you wanna break these walls down](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1rfSHisyHdc)_   
[ _you're gonna get bruised_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1rfSHisyHdc) _"_

I arrived in Astapor just in time for the transaction between the slave owner and my sister. Missandei was translating for Kraznys, he explained that the soldiers were untested. Several people startled when I appeared in the crowd. I pushed my way forwards and joined Daenerys. "I was beginning to think you weren't going to make it," she said.

"Late night war planning sessions, you know how those are," I said. She walked forward and unlatched the cage holding Drogon. I stepped aside and stood in front of Jorah and Ser Barristan. Neither of the men looked particularly thrilled. I assumed my sister had still not clued them in on her plan. She hadn't told me either, but I knew she would never truly give away one of our dragons.

She presented Drogon to the slave master and he handed her the whip. She turned and walked toward the fleet of Unsullied. She began speaking in Valyrian. I looked to Jorah, who seemed just as surprised as I was. Missandei pressed her lips together in a smug smile. Drogon let out a loud screech and spit fire on Kraznys. Chaos erupted around us. The Unsullied were killing the slave masters as they attempted to flee. My sister stood in the middle, stoic as she watched.

When the screams ceased, and the dust settled, Daenerys grabbed my arm. She led me through the rows of Unsullied. She didn't say anything. I took a moment to look at the men. They were stronger and faster than any soldier I had seen before. Daenerys climbed on her horse, and then offered me a hand to pull me up behind her.

I did not understand what she said to the soldiers, but I didn't need to. The Unsullied beat their spears into the ground. My sister had her army, and no one would be able to stand in her way.

* * *

I woke up to Aylward, once again, shaking my shoulders. "What is it?"

"The Lannister boys, they were murdered." Two distant cousins of Tywin had been prisoners at Riverrun.

"By who?"

"Lord Karstark and a few of his men. Robb is having them brought up as we speak."

I got up and dressed quickly. My chambers were just off the meeting room. When I opened the door, I saw the boys on the ground. "Gods, they were only children."

"They were vengeance," Lord Karstark snapped as he was brought forward.

"For what? They caused no deaths."

"It took five men to murder two unarmed boys," Robb said. "Look at what you've done."

"Tell your mother to look at them, she's the reason they are dead."

"Catelyn made a mistake, you knew precisely what you were doing," I said.

"In war we kill our enemies. You need that lesson as well as her. You had a chance to kill Theon Greyjoy, but you left and he burned Winterfell to the ground. How does it feel to know you are the reason your home is gone?"

"You know nothing of me, Lord Karstark. Do not pretend you do."

"You are not a Northerner. I will have no Southern whore as my queen." He spit at my feet. I slapped him. No one spoke.

"I may not have the blood of the First Men in my veins, but I am no Southerner. I am the rightful Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, and I will take what is mine." I almost finished the sentence with by fire and blood, out loud.

"Maybe you are, but you'll have a hard time getting to the Iron Throne if your husband loses the North first." Karstark smirked.

"Hang them all," Robb said. "Except Lord Karstark, escort him to the dungeon."

Once the men had been escorted out, Edmure stepped forward. "Word of this must not leave Riverrun."

"What do you suppose we do then?" I asked sighing.

"Burry them here and keep it quiet until after the war."

"We have no way of knowing when that time will come," I said. I turned to Robb. "What are you planning to do with Lord Karstark?"

"I cannot let murders remain in my ranks, he must be executed."

"You will lose his men, they won't fight for you once they kill their lord," Catelyn said.

"Our men are not disposable," I reminded him. "We need as many men as we can keep."

"Then we will keep what we have after Karstark is dead," Robb said. "Prepare for the execution."

* * *

Lord Karstark was brought into the courtyard for the beheading. I waited with Catelyn and Edmure under the overhang safely out of the rain. "Don't want to watch then, your grace?" Karstark yelled across the lawn. I stepped out into the rain. Catelyn grabbed my arm to pull me back, but I shook her off. I joined Robb in front of Karstark. "You would like to kill me yourself, wouldn't you? Watch out for this one, she has a bloodlust I didn't know a lady could possess."

"Keel, my lord," Robb said. Rickard knelt over the board.

He looked up at me. "You claim to be the rightful Queen, but you are no more than a usurper."

I leaned down by his ear and whispered, "I am the blood of House Targaryen and anyone who dares try and stop me will burn." I turned away and walked back to Catelyn, just as Robb chopped of the man's head.

* * *

I was riding with Jorah and Ser Barristan along with the fleet of Unsullied. Daenerys had disappeared to meet with the army's commanders. I decided I would just enjoy the scenic ride instead of trying to wake up. Here was better than Riverrun. I didn't want to deal with the repercussions of the Karstark army abandoning us.

"How goes it on the Northern front?" Barristan asked.

"Not well. We just lost half our men."

"Some army that will be waiting for us when we arrive," Jorah said.

"Luckily we have a second army then," I said gesturing to the Unsullied. "Why did you leave the Kingsguard, Ser Barristan?" I asked to change the subject.

"King Joffrey tried to kill me, luckily I got away. I've yet to serve a king who I believe in. Aerys, Robert, Joffrey, not one of them was worthy of the crown."

"And what of the other kings, the ones fighting in the war, are any of them worthy?" I asked curiously.

"Renly might have been a decent king but his claim was weak at best. Stannis is generally disliked. I wouldn't want him for my king. Robb's father was a great man, but Robb is young and impulsive, no offense, my lady."

"None taken, it's true enough."

"Isn't there a fifth king?" He asked.

"Oh some throw Balon Greyjoy into the mix," I informed him.

He snorted. "Why in Seven Hells? Does anyone want him as a king?"

"No one that I know of," I told him.

"What I want to know, is if King Robert knew about you," Jorah said. "And if he did, why didn't he try and kill you. He tried to kill your sister several times."

"Ned told him, I'm sure. As for why he didn't have me killed, I suppose it was because I wasn't being raised as a Targaryen. The Starks did not even tell me until I was almost ten. I spent years thinking my family had been soldiers who had died in the war, in a way I guess they were. Robert probably assumed that Eddard wasn't planning on having me take back the throne."

"And now here you are, taking the throne."

"Seeing as the only supposed rightful heir is Stannis Baratheon. I think the Seven Kingdoms need me."

"I don't understand why anyone would want to be King or Queen. I wouldn't like the politics," Barristan said.

"Jorah, if you are done gossiping could you come here," Daenerys called. He nodded towards me and Barristan before riding ahead towards her.

"I like to think I'm good at politics, but maybe I'm not."

"You and your sister will have good men by your side, men with experience."

"Are you suggesting you want to be the Lord Commander of our Queens' Guard? I think you might have competition in Jorah."

"Your grace, I do not think that Jorah would be a good fit for the position. As I'm sure you know, being a Northerner, he was exiled for doing the very thing Daenerys is undoing."

"Well, it isn't entirely up to me who joins our Small Council and Guard. Even if it was, I have my own candidate for the position."

"Who?" He asked.

"My sworn shield. Ser Aylward Caswell, former member of Renly Baratheon's Kingsguard."

"How did you come to have a member of Renly's Kingsguard?"

"Catelyn and I visited Storm's End for a short time to make a truce with Renly. Just before his unfortunate demise. That was when I first began having the dreams about Daenerys. Aylward was to accompany me to Essos to meet her. When Renly was murdered he refused to pledge loyalty to Stannis. Instead he followed me North."

"It's a pity what happened to his brothers, they were good men." Barristan shook his head slowly.

"I don't believe he's ever spoken of them."

"They were attempting to rescue Lyanna Stark from Rhaegar Targaryen. Rhaegar killed them both himself."

"And yet Aylward fights for me."

"He must believe in you. Do you trust him?" He asked.

"With my life."

"Maybe we ought to have two commanders, one for each queen."

"Maybe we ought to." I thought for a moment. "You and my father were close, correct?"

"I wouldn't say anyone was close with the Mad King, but I was served on his Kingsguard. Why?"

"Do you know which of us was the first born, me or Daenerys?" I asked.

"Aerys requested you be brought to King's Landing immediately after you were born. He wanted his first born daughter with him, he wanted _you_ with him. Are you already planning a coup?"

"Simply curious."

* * *

I awoke in the middle of the night and noticed that Robb's side of the bed was empty. I slid out of the sheets and walked across the room to the door. The candles still burnt brightly and I pushed the door open. Robb was so immersed in the strategy map he didn't even notice me come in. "Come to bed, the war will still be here come morning."

"I wish it would disappear." He motioned to the map. "Take a look at this, what would you do."

"I'm not a war strategist, I'm a people strategist. I talk to people and I'll fight them, if it's needed."

"All the Lannisters need to do is sit back and watch us fall apart."

"We could ride North, take back our lands and wait for my sister to arrive. She has an army now. They're good men, almost supernatural in their strength and loyalty. They would help us immensely."

"If we let our men go home, they will never come back. What we need is to strike now, somewhere they won't expect us to hit."

I glanced at the map, it was easy enough to follow. Statues represented the number of armies stationed in each location. "Casterly Rock."

"We'd need men to replace the Karstarks," Robb said. "You said it yourself. You know how to talk to people. You could make the Frey's side with us."

"Walder Frey of the twins? We have nothing left to give him. We promised him that one of his daughters could marry Bran."

"We have Edmure."

I smiled. "Yes, we do. I think that I might be able to work up some sort of truce that could be beneficial to us both."


	14. Leave A Trace

_"[you think I'll apologize for things I left behind](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Eo84jDIMKI)_   
_[but you got it wrong](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Eo84jDIMKI)"_

Robb had a raven sent to the Freys asking if they could negotiate a truce. Two of Walder's sons arrived in a timely manner. My plan was to meet with them alone and work out the details of the truce before we met formally with Robb and the Tullys. As I walked through the guest wing of the castle I heard voices coming from one of the halls. "Foreign born, huh?" One of the voices asked. I walked down the hall slowly.

"Bet you think you're better than us. Probably wishes she never came to Westeros, don't you?" The other man asked. I recognized him as one of the few Bolton soldiers that had ridden with us to Riverrun.

"Let's see if you foreign bitches are as good as they say you are," the first man said. I stepped around the corner surprising them. The first soldier was holding Talisa up against the wall.

"Would you like her to test that theory by tending to the knife I'm about to stick in your eye? If not, I suggest you let the lady go," I said calmly.

"We're your soldiers. You can't hurt us," the Bolton man told me.

"My soldiers do not harass innocent women, who happen to be part of the King's court, in the halls." Neither of the men made a move to release Talisa. I pulled one of the daggers from my belt. "Really it's your choice. I'm sure you'll both look lovely with one less eye."

The men let her go reluctantly and walked past me without saying anything else. Talisa watched me leave and then turned to me. "Thank you, my grace."

"You helped me, it was my turn to help you," I told her. "And please, call me Amina."

"Amina, these soldiers are getting out of hand," Talisa told me.

"Clearly. They need to fight, we all need to fight. You cannot win a war without fighting. But the Bolton soldiers are the worst of all. The whole lot is rotten. If only we didn't need them, I would send them back to the North, or kill them." I cleared my throat. "I'd kill the ones who deserved it."

"You don't have to pretend to be a lady around me, your grace, I understand. Women do not get the respect they deserve in this world."

"Is it different in Essos?" I asked.

"No one gets respect in Essos, you have to earn it."

* * *

After I escorted Talisa to her quarters, I continued on to visit the Freys. I knocked on the door and waited in the hall until I finally heard shuffling inside. The door swung open and Lothar Frey stood in the doorway. "What do you want?" He asked.

"I am your Queen, it should not matter what I want," I said annoyed.

"Forgive me, your grace. How may I help you?" He asked, though he sounded quite bored. I pushed through the door and saw his bastard brother Black Walder sitting at the table.

"I would like to discuss the terms of this truce," I said.

"Do we not have a meeting with the others this afternoon?" Lothar asked limping towards me.

"Yes, this is merely a formality."

"This doesn't seem very formal to me," Black Walder said.

"Do not try my patience. I have already threatened to stab two men today. I do not have time to talk around business," I snapped. "What does your father want in exchange for the help of his armies?"

"He doesn't want to help," Lothar said.

"I am sure there is something we can agree on. He would not have sent you if there wasn't something he wanted. New lands perhaps? Or a new match to wed one of his daughters?"

"What lands and which man do you have in mind?" Black Walder asked curiously.

"Harrenhal?"

"Harrenhal is not in the North," Lothar observed.

"No, it isn't. When we win this war, location will not matter," I told them. "As for which man, my uncle Edmure is available. I should think he would make a suitable match for one of your sisters."

"Edmure has refused to marry a Frey for quite some time. What makes you think you could change his mind?" Lothar asked.

"He has been looking for a way to get back into the good graces of our King. I would think that with a bit of prodding my family should be able to convince him."

"And we can have Harrenhal immediately?"

"As soon as we have no strategic need for it, it shall be yours."

The brothers looked at each other for moment before Lothar nodded. "I believe these terms will work for our father."

"Alright, that settles that then. I'll see you all at the table." I started to leave but stopped and turned back. "One more thing, these terms were your father's idea."

* * *

That afternoon I joined Robb, Catelyn, Edmure, Brynden and the two Freys in the council room. As I sat down I gave Robb's arm a squeeze to let him know that my talk with the brothers had gone well.

"Our father has instructed us to tell you that your alliance can continue if his terms are met," Lothar said. He glanced at me pointedly and I cleared my throat. I should have asked if they were convincing liars before I left.

"Lord Frey requests Harrenhal," Black Walder said.

"I don't think-" Edmure started to say.

"Harrenhal is a small price to pay for an army," I said cutting him off. I looked over at Robb. "I'm sure that is a plausible trade."

Robb nodded. "Harrenhal is not in the North. But, it is his, once the war is over and we have no strategic need for it," he said, echoing what I had told the Freys earlier. I may not have mentioned giving away Harrenhal before, but I knew Robb well.

"There's something else," Black Walder said.

"Of course, what is it?" I asked.

"Not a what, a who."

We all looked at Edmure, who sat clueless until he realized the whole table was staring at him. He laughed and shook his head. "No."

"Our father requires Lord Edmure to wed Roslin Frey," Black Walder said. I almost snorted. I hadn't told the brothers to let Edmure pick a wife, I found it quite amusing that he would have his choice made for him. "We depart for the Twins in the morning. We need an answer before then. The wedding must be in no more than a fortnight or this alliance is ended."

"We're in the middle of a war, we do not have time to make trip in the wrong direction," Brynden said.

"Father is old, it would be nice for him to see his prized daughter wed before he dies," Lothar told them.

"We wouldn't have to take all the men, leave some south. It would make the trip back and forth quicker. The Twins are not that far of a destination. If we move quickly we could have this whole business taken care of in a fortnight," I told them.

"Please excuse us while we discuss it," Robb said. We waited until the Freys were out of the room and the door closed securely behind them.

"Absolutely not," Edmure said. "At the very least that old ferret could allow me the privilege of choosing my own bride."

"We do not have the luxury of privilege," I said. "We need to move on Casterly Rock as soon as possible and we need the Frey army to do that."

"This is your fault," he said pushing away from the table. "You have hated me since you were a little girl. Now that you are in a position of power, you are trying to ruin my life."

"You sound like a spoiled child," Brynden said. "It is a wonder we don't all hate you. Oh wait-"

"My answer is no," Edmure said again.

"His demands were clear," Robb said. "If you refuse, our alliance with the Freys is dead."

"When I say no, Walder will surely change his mind and allow me my choice. He has always wanted me to wed one of his daughters, that will not change now."

"You are willing to risk all our lives, the outcome of this war, and the fate of the Seven Kingdoms on your ego?" I asked.

"Amina is right. We do not have the time to wait. You will marry Roslin Frey," Robb told him. "You said you wanted to make amends for Stone Mill."

"I had something less permanent in mind," Edmure said.

"Like what?" I asked. "Were you planning on having a feast or issuing a public apology? Had you done as Robb asked, we might be winning this war right now. But as it stands we are severely outnumbered and on our way to being in an early grave."

"We must do this now or we are lost," Robb told him.

There was a long pause. I was beginning to worry that Edmure was more stubborn than I could have possibly imagined. Finally he spoke, "I'll marry her."

* * *

Daenerys and her soldiers were still on their march when I arrived. "Good, you came when I called," my sister said. "Missandei, bring the woman forwards."

"Yes, Khaleesi," she answered.

"Besides the Unsullied there were other slaves that came with me when they were freed. Missandei and I have been talking to them. This one stuck out as being particularly useful to you."

"For me?" I asked.

Missandei returned with the woman. She rattled off something to Daenerys and the woman in Valyrian. "This is Kaeshai, her mother was from Westeros and moved here as a little girl. Kaeshai has a gift. The direct translation to the common tongue is eyes of all things. You may know of those with the sight."

"I don't believe I do," I told her.

"Those with the sight can see things in the future, the past and the present many miles away."

"And this woman possesses that gift?" I asked. "Does she speak the common tongue?"

"No, only Valyrian."

"Can she control it? What she sees and when she sees it."

"She can influence what she sees, but the visions come randomly." Missandei glanced at Daenerys. "But she can-"

My sister cut her off. "We do not partake in black magic here. I have seen the affects of it firsthand."

"All magic has a price," Missandei said. "Black or white."

"We will be content with hearing Kaeshai's visions. We do not need to see them," Dany told Missandei. She walked off to talk to Barristan, leaving me alone with Missandei and Kaeshai.

"What did she mean by see them?" I asked.

"I don't think that-"

"Missandei, is there a way to see them?"

"Yes, but it is dangerous. There is the possibility of getting trapped in the space between."

"It is worth the risk. How can I trust a foreigner to tell me who and what they see? The people of Westeros will be foreign to her. She may not understand her visions the way a Westerosi would." I explained.

"Daenerys will not be pleased."

"Daenerys does not have to know."


	15. Run Boy Run

_"[tomorrow is another day](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmc21V-zBq0)_   
[ _and you won't have to hide away"_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmc21V-zBq0)

With all the traveling, it seemed I barely had a moment to rest. When I did get to sleep, it was dreamless. But I wasn't worried, Daenerys had her army to protect her. She would be all right on her own until Edmure's wedding had passed.

Catelyn, Robb and I stood, looking at the war map. Robb pushed the direwolf symbols, signifying our armies, across the table. They surrounded the lion symbols at Casterly Rock. "Can you imagine?" I whispered.

"If we take Tywinn's home, we will show Westeros he isn't invincible," Robb said.

"If we can do that, we might draw more men to our side," I added.

"Are you sure about this?" Catelyn asked. "It's dangerous."

"You told me not to send Theon to negotiate with his father, he proved you right. The North is in shambles. Bran and Rickon are gone. I am asking for your advice," he said to her.

"Do we have the army for it?" She asked.

"If the Freys cooperate," I told her.

She nodded and looked at the map intently. "If the Lannisters send more men to Casterly Rock, we'll be trapped."

"They won't know we're coming. They'll have no reason to take a chunk of their army away from the war," I told her.

"The two of you will stay in Riverrun," Robb told us.

"We will do no such thing," Catelyn and I said at once.

After a moment of staring at us, waiting for us to see the light, he nodded. "At least we'll plan an escape for you. I'll have Aylward briefed on it as soon as possible."

Catelyn nodded. "Show them what it feels like to lose what they love."

* * *

When we arrived at the Twins, we were brought inside to meet Walder Frey. Our first meeting felt like it had been ages ago. Walder still looked as ancient as ever. I wondered if maybe he had fossilized, that would explain his preserved appearance.

"I welcome you all into my home and to my table," Walder said. He introduced some of his daughters and granddaughters to us. There were too many for me to remember. I probably could have said anything that started with "Wald-" and gotten it half right. No one could call him original, but once you were that old you probably stopped caring.

"It is my pleasure to meet each of you," Robb said.

Walder's eyes fell on me. "Ah, the new Queen in the North. Come here let me look at you." He motioned me towards him and I took a few steps in his direction. "Certainly prettier than this lot," he mumbled.

"Thank you for having us," I said.

"Thank you for agreeing to my terms," he said. He winked. He stood and I returned to Robb's side. "Now, let's get on with it."

* * *

That night it seemed King's Landing would be able to hear the festivities at The Twins. Outside our soldiers were taking the break between battles to drink and socialize.

The mood inside was more somber. Edmure waited for Walder to walk Roslin to him. We had yet to catch a glimpse of the bride to be, I could tell Edmure was more than nervous about it. The girl reached the steps and knelt before him, finally her head was uncovered. Without even seeing her face I could tell she must be pretty. Edmure's eyes widened in surprise and he smiled.

Edmure helped her to her feet. "You may now cloak the bride and bring her under your protection," the priest said. It was a wedding in the style of the Seven, something I had never seen before. It was odd that my ancestors had followed this religion yet I knew so little about it.

After the ceremony came our feast. The main hall had been decorated with extravagant banners. The balconies were full of musicians who played happy dancing music. Some of the guests who had been drinking the wine for dancing about, slightly off beat. I wandered over to Catelyn and Brynden's table. "And to think, Edmure through a fit about the whole ordeal."

"You did well," Brynden said. I curtsied jokingly. A servant came to their tables with refills for the wine. Roose Bolton waved her away.

"You don't drink?" Catelyn asked.

"Never, it dulls the senses," he answered.

I opened my mouth to say I was sure I'd seen him drinking with his men in the past, but thought better of it. "I don't drink much either," I said instead. Brynden excused himself and I went back to my table.

"You've left my mother all alone with Roose Bolton," Robb observed.

"Oh, I'm sure she can handle herself just fine," I told him.

Lord Frey stood up before I could say anything else and got the rooms's attention. "Your grace, I think the time has come for the bedding."

"If you think the time is right, then a bedding there shall be," Robb called. Roslin and Edmure were carried out of the hall, most of the party followed after them.

"I've never cared for that tradition, its barbaric," I said. "Everyone knows the purpose of marriage. They'll get around to it, sooner or later."

"My queen, never one to follow what everyone else is doing," he said.

"Never! How can one be original, without following her own path?"

"Sorry to interrupt," Aylward said stepping very close to us. "One of Lord Frey's sons has just locked the main doors to the hall."

"Why would he do that?" I asked. The band, which had since stopped playing, resumed, this time with a song I was all too familiar with. "Rains of Castamere," I mumbled.

"Is there another way out?" Robb asked Aylward. Robb held both my hands very tightly under the table.

He nodded. "I inspected the hall while everyone was at the ceremony."

"Get Amina away from here, don't look back," Robb told him. He turned to me. "Promise me you won't return here."

I looked between them both. I had never seen Aylward look this worried. Robb let go of my hands. "Come with me," I whispered.

"It will be easier to slip you out undetected," he said. He kissed me softly. His hand lingered on my cheek. "I know that you loved Jon. You should go to the Wall. Promise me you'll find him. He's heir to the North now."

I put my hand over his. "You're talking like you're already dead."

"Amina, go, before it's too late," Robb urged me. Aylward led me to the side of the room.

"Talk to me, like you would normally," Aylward prompted.

"Aylward, what's going on?" I asked. He shook his head. I looked back at Robb, he was still looking at me. I tried to convey everything I'd never said, in one look. 

We went around the head table, Walder's wife looked at us, but she looked too scared to say anything. Aylward opened a door and pushed me out in front of him. We were in the kitchens, which were eerily quiet. We weaved through the room to an outside door on the other side. He grabbed a cape from behind a crate. "You planned this escape."

"Hurry, Amina." I pulled the cape over my dress. He smeared dirt on my cheeks to make me blend in with the scullery maids. As soon as we were both changed we walked out into the open. It was chaos. Frey men had drawn their weapons, and my men were all too drunk to fight back. Aylward pulled me across the bridge before anyone noticed us.

Aylward's horse and Myst were waiting for us just on the other side. It was as if I had lost all the fight in me, I didn't care what happened anymore. Aylward lifted me onto his horse in front of him and pulled Myst's reins so she would follow behind. Grey Wind howled in the distance.

* * *

We rode until daybreak, and then we kept going until Aylward's horse couldn't go anymore. "Amina, are you alright?" Aylward asked. He helped me from the horse.

"They're dead aren't they?" I whispered. "Robb, Catelyn, our army, everyone." He shuffled hesitant. "Tell me!"

"Most likely."

"Did you know this was going to happen?" I asked. "Did Robb know?"

"We planned for the worst. It was supposed to be a drill, so I'd be prepared for the storming of Casterly Rock."

"Casterly Rock," I mumbled. "What dreamers we were. Gods we were so stupid, the Lannisters were a part of this no doubt."

"There must have been a spy," Aylward said.

"Roose," I said. "Who else would it be? That whole family is rotten."

"Before we left Robb said to-"

"He said he knew I loved Jon," I said. "I love– loved Robb too. I didn't even get to tell him that." I stood up quickly, almost loosing my balance and falling back down. "Take me back, you have to take me back."

"They'll kill you."

"I have to see what happened, I have to see them."

"Amina, I can't do that."

"He's my husband, I deserve to burry his body!" I screamed over him. My voice cracked and suddenly I was engulfed in a river of tears. "He's dead."

Aylward pulled me into his chest and let me cry on him. "Shh, shh."

* * *

"The horses are rested, we should move," Aylward said.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"That's up to you. If you want to go to the Wall, we'll have to circle around to continue north. I wasn't paying attention to directions last night."

"I want to see Jon, but I don't think I'm ready. I need time."

"So not north then."

It only took me a moment to decide. "We'll go south, to Kings Landing. We can look for Sansa. I've got the advantage, only a few people there have seen me. Margaery's wedding is coming up, I can pass as one of her cousins from Highgarden."

"This is a bad idea, Amina. You're putting yourself right in the lion's den."

"We'll leave at the first sign of trouble. Even if we can't help Sansa escape now, knowing she's alright will make me feel better."

"Fine, then south it is."

* * *

"Are you sure you want to do this, my lady?" Aylward asked. It felt like he'd asked a hundred times on the journey to the capital. "There's still time to change your mind."

"And go where, Dorne? We're come too far to go North now. I can't cross the Narrow Sea without tying things up on this continent."

"You could. Your sister would be happy to see you. Have you spoken to her since..." he trailed off.

"No, I haven't," I informed him. "You do not need to skirt around the subject, Alyward. What's passed is past."

"Is it?" I nodded. "Why is it I don't believe you've put it behind you that quickly, Amina?"

"I will never forget, but I have no choice but to move forward. If I look back, I am lost."

"You're sounding more and more like Daenerys each day."

"We have much in common, I suppose."

"Yes, I suppose you do."

"We're wasting time, we should go into the city. There are only a few weeks until the wedding and I'm here to help my cousin prepare."

* * *

I sighed exasperated. "I've told your comrades already. I am Desmera Redwyne, Lady Margaery's dear cousin." This was at least the third Gold Cloak I'd explained this to.

"And who's he?" The man asked, pointing at Aylward.

"My personal sword," I said tersely. "Do any of you pay half a mind to politics, or Gods forbid, read the guest list? Margaery sent for me, I'm to help with the wedding preparations. I'm sure you know how testy Margaery can be. She would greatly appreciate it if you would take me to her chambers immediately."

He sighed and motioned for Aylward and me to follow him down the hall, where we ran right into Margaery. She stopped in her tracks and looked me over. "Mina!"

"Thought you said your name was Desmera," the guard mumbled.

"A nickname, because I look so much like my mother," I lied smoothly. I turned my attention back to my friend. "Dear cousin, I haven't seen you in ages. We should retire to your chambers and catch up."

She all but pulled my arm out of socket as she led me into her room, Aylward trailing behind us. Margaery slammed the door in the guards face. "Amina!" She squealed, hugging me tightly and burying her face in my hair. After a moment she pulled back. But she held onto my arms with a fierce grip, as if I would evaporate at any moment.

"Shh, the castle walls have ears," I told her, before she could shout my name again.

"I heard what happened, Mina. I'm so sorry." She hugged me again.

"What's passed is past," echoing my previous words to Aylward.

She took a good look at my face, clearly not believing me anymore that Aylward had. "I never received word about you, I thought– I assumed you'd been murdered as well," she said. "But you're alive! Do they know?"

"I'm not sure," I said.

"Roose would have noticed you absence during the attack," Aylward inserted. "He may not have released that information to the Lannisters, but he knows, my lady."

"There you have it, someone knows," I told Margaery.

"Then why are you here? You had business in the savage country, did you not? Why haven't you escaped?"

"The best place to hide is in plain sight," I explained. "I do hope the real Desmera Redwyne will not be in attendance at your wedding."

"Her mother told her she was too young to make the journey. The rest of my family doesn't pay much attention to cousins, you should be safe from them. Oh, Loras will love to see you as well, both of you!" I had almost forgotten that Aylward was formerly one of Renly's Kingsguard. "And you'll get to meet my grandmother, she will adore you."

"How many people at court know your identity?" Aylward asked me concerned.

"Margaery and Loras, Sansa," I paused thinking. "Maybe Tyrion Lannister, he'd be the one to pay attention. I'll be sure to avoid him and his sister if I can."

"Brienne is at court as well," Margaery added. "Along with Jaime Lannister."

I groaned. "More than I anticipated."

"You're safe from my family and Brienne, I'm sure. The Lannisters will be the only problem."

"We'll just have to make sure your paths never cross," Aylward concluded.

"I'm so glad to see you again, Mina." She paused. "Or should I say, Mera?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out the Robb companion chapter in Different Lives, Different Destines


	16. Biting Down

_"[breathed so deep I thought I'd drown](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-k1UvozPeTw)"_

"How many people saw you come up here?" Margaery asked.

"Six, maybe seven," Aylward answered for me.

"Anyone important?" She asked. Aylward shook his head. "Good, let's get you changed quickly and I will have these clothes disposed of." She reached into her closet and pulled out a dress, like one I'd worn in Storm's End. "You need to blend in at court, you don't look like someone from Highgarden."

Aylward stepped into the hall while Margaery helped me into my new dress. "When can I see my sister?" I asked.

"Sansa? Soon," Margaery assured me. "She goes down to Godswood every day. My ladies have been instructed to watch her and report to me when she is on her way there."

"There is a Godswood here?" I asked.

"What's left of one, at least." Margaery sat me down at her vanity and combed through my hair.

I was silent for a minute, but I was anxious to see Sansa. "How long do you think she'll be?"

"Soon," she repeated. "Your hair is a mess, at least let me get some of these knots out while we wait." She pulled sharply on my hair. "That was a twig, it's like you've been living in the woods."

"I was."

We locked eyes in the mirror and she nodded apologetically. "Right, I'll just..."she ran her comb through my hair again and it didn't pull as much this time. "It isn't all bad, just that one spot."

"How is she?" I asked.

"She's alive, that is the most important thing," Margaery told me. "I'm not sure you heard, there's something you should know-"

There was a knock on the door. "My lady?" A girl called from outside.

"Come in," Margaery called back.

The girl came in and curtsied quickly. "Forgive me for interrupting, but you told us to tell you when Sansa went to the Godswood. She's just gone."

I stood up quickly. Margaery shot me a look before turning back to the girl. "Very good, please escort my cousin to her."

"Desmera Redwyne," I told the girl. She curtsied again nervously, I wanted to laugh, but I thought that might be rude.

"This way, my lady." I followed her into the hall where Aylward was still standing.

"I won't be long," I told him. He nodded. The girl and I wound though the building before emerging in the gardens. She took me to one end of the gardens overlooking the river and pointed down stairs.

"The Godswood is down there. May I help you with anything else?"

"No, thank you." She nodded before hurrying off. I turned towards the stairs and descended slowly. Part of me was terrified that I would be too late and Sansa would be gone, but when I reached the bottom there she was. "I haven't been to a Godswood in months, you were always more diligent than I. Some things never change."

She shifted slightly and pressed her eyes together tighter. Just when I was about to speak again, her eyes flew open in surprise. "Amina!" She threw herself into my arms and pressed her face against my shoulder. I had barely gotten my arms around her when she began sobbing.

"It's ok, shh." I petted her hair. "Shh." It took Sansa a few minutes to compose herself.

Finally she stepped back looked me over and then hugged me again. "I thought you were dead."

"I should be, Robb sacrificed himself so I could escape." That sparked a second wave of tears. "How are you? I haven't seen you in so long."

"They made me marry Tyrion Lannister," she told me.

"Oh my Gods. Sansa, I didn't know."

"I'm just so happy you're here!" Suddenly terror crossed her face. "You can't be here. Joffrey is mad, he'll have your head."

"He won't know," I assured her. "Margaery and I have worked it out."

"Margaery knows?"

"Yes, of course, who else would have given me this gorgeous dress?" She didn't even glance at what I was wearing. This was not the same little girl I'd last seen in Winterfell. "Gods, I wish I had time. There's so much I want to tell you and even more I want to know."

"You can't stay?" She asked.

"I'm posing as Margaery's cousin for the time being. It would not be in character for Desmera Redwyne to be seen for an extended amount of time in the Godswood."

She nodded. "I understand, but please when you can..."

"I will try to see you as much as possible. I promise." I kissed her on the forehead and she squeezed my hands. I slipped away back to the gardens.

When I reached the top of the steps, I ran right into Jaime Lannister and Brienne. "I thought I saw you rush through the gardens. But I thought, of course the Queen in the North would not be stupid enough to risk coming to court."

I looked a Brienne, who looked just as terrified as I felt. "Jaime-"

"Oh calm down," he said to her. To me he said, "I'm not going to tell your secret, I'm not cruel."

"Really?" I asked skeptically.

"You don't know me as well as you would like to think you do, Amina."

"Amina, what are you doing here?" Brienne hissed.

"I could ask the same of you."

"You can't be here."

"She is right you know, I don't know what game you have cooked up with the Tyrell girl but my father will find out."

"I am not planning anything," I snapped. "I just wanted to see her." I glanced over my shoulder at the stairs.

"You really were raised a Stark, honor, family, all that. How interesting," Jaime said thoughtfully.

"Is that a bad thing?" I asked.

"You are really too uptight for your own good, relax. No Highgarden girl walks around with a stick up her ass."

I rolled my eyes. Being around Jaime was making me increasingly more nervous. He didn't seem to be in a hurry to leave, and I did not want to offend him by rushing off. He held all the cards. "You look better than the last time I saw you," I noted.

"I believe I had a beard then, and two hands."

I glanced down at his hands. His right hand was stiff and gold. "You lost your sword hand," I realized. "I'm sorry," I said uncomfortably, but honestly.

"Don't apologize, your losses far exceed mine." I pressed my lips together. "Forgive me for bringing it up. The wound is still fresh, I know."

"Yes, it is."

"I'm sure you have other places to be, don't let me keep you," he said. I nodded at Brienne before walking back towards the Red Keep. "Oh, and Amina?" I stopped petrified his next words would be a threat. "Be careful, this is a dangerous place." Instead of threatening he sounded genuine. I nodded at him over my shoulder, before disappearing back into the garden.

* * *

For the next few days I saw Margaery very little and Sansa only a few times. It wasn't that I didn't want to see them, but Margaery was busy with wedding preparations. Despite my offers to help, she told me she wouldn't force me to go through the motions. Going to the Godswood meant walking from one end of the gardens to the other. I couldn't risk being seen there so often, so Sansa was just out of my reach. When we did speak, we traded stories about the past three years. I told her about my sister, and she explained all that had happened at court. Aylward avoided me when possible. I didn't blame him, I had been a mess the entire time we were traveling to King's Landing.

What no one seemed to understand was that I needed to be distracted. Since Margaery wasn't going to give me something to do, I had to find something else to busy myself with.

"Where have you been?" Margaery asked me one night, while we were having supper together on her balcony.

"Nowhere important, just out," I told her shrugging.

"Are you sure that's really best?"

"No, but I cannot stay in this room all day. I'll lose my mind," I told her. Under my breath I added, "If I haven't already."

"At least be careful, I would hate myself if something happened to you."

"Surprisingly, I feel quite safe, all things considering." I finished my tea and hopped up. "I should be going."

"Going where? It's nearly nightfall!"

"Your grandmother summoned me for tea tomorrow, I'll see you then." I pecked her on the cheek and hurried into the hall.

The halls of the Red Keep still confused me, but I had memorized this path well. I reached the door I was looking for and knocked, Jaime opened the door and I slid in. "You're late." He checked the hall before closing the door behind me.

"I am not," I protested. "I told you nightfall. The sun isn't even down yet." I motioned to the window to prove my point. "Now, where's the wine."

* * *

"I can honestly say that I never thought I'd be getting drunk with Jaime Lannister," I said.

"You drink like a man, you could give my sister a run for her money."

"I have been living with a few thousand men, on the front lines of a war for the last year," I reminded him. "Are you sure you don't have anything stronger than this?"

"I'm trying not to get you killed, I don't think I trust you out there drunk."

"How chivalrous," I garbled the word and he smirked.

"They all think you're sleeping with me."

I shrugged. "Safest place as any, I suppose. Word must not have reached Margaery yet. She hasn't tried to lock me in her room and throw away the key yet."

"She is a bit protective of you, isn't she?"

"If she wanted to protect me she would let me do something, elsewise I'm going to throw myself off her balcony."

"Wouldn't that be a twist. Queen in the North avoids massacre, only to throw herself off balcony. All because she was banned from helping with wedding preparations."

I laughed. "Wouldn't that be story for the history books. Maybe they'd write a ballad."

"The sun will be up in a few hours," Jaime noted.

"Has it really been that long? Gods, I have tea with the Tyrells this afternoon."

"I have to train with my little brother's sellsword today."

"I wish I could see you fight a man drunk," I said. "I bet that would be a laugh."

"I haven't had as much to drink as you, little queen."

"I'm not a queen," I said quickly. "Not anymore."

"You mean, not yet?" He asked. For a moment I thought he was going to accuse me of scheming again, but then he smiled and winked at me. "Feel free to stay here. I'll have a guard wait outside, if you'd like to sleep."

"Yes, I think sleep would be nice. I have a feeling meeting Olenna Tyrell will require a decent amount of rest."

"Little queen," he mumbled. "You might get used to that nickname."

"I do not think the current queen regent would approve."

"Does she approve of anything?"

* * *

When I left Jaime's room that afternoon, I passed the guard outside and nodded at him. He barely looked at me. I wondered how many secrets had he been tasked to keep since being here. I was sure the Red Keep had more than a few.

When I approached Olenna's section of the garden, the Tyrell women had already arrived. "Oh, Desmera, there you are!" Margaery said. "Come sit."

"Sorry, afternoon nap." I joined Margaery and her grandmother at the table.

Olenna smiled, "I've heard much about you Amina Stark." It shocked me to hear my name spoken aloud. I hadn't even become used to the Stark name yet. "Don't worry child, we can talk freely here."

"To a certain extent," Margaery mumbled.

Olenna gave her granddaughter a look, before turning back to me. "If you don't want to talk about Amina Stark, let us talk about Desmera Redwyne. I hear she's been spotted slipping to Jaime Lannister's room in the middle of the night."

"Have you really?" Margaery asked surprised.

"It really isn't what you think, I assure you," I told her.

"Maybe it isn't, but that is what we'll let them think," Olenna said.

"That's what you meant when you said you felt safe," Margaery realized. "You are insane. Do you know how badly this could end? Grandmother, I don't think you understand the gravity of her situation."

"The safest place for Amina Stark is where no one would expect to find her," Olenna stated. "Is that not why you came to King's Landing to begin with?"

I nodded. "More or less."

"Now, Margaery tells me you want to help with the wedding? I think that sounds delightful. I already have girls hunting for the perfect jewelry, but let's see..." She pulled my arm closer to her and ran her fingers through my hair. "Softer, than I'd expect for dyed hair."

"How did you know?"

"It's fading, I'll have more dye sent to you. Maybe a change is in order? How about a lovely chestnut, like Margaery's?"

I shrugged. "Alright."

"Good. Margaery does not have time to sit and let the handmaids work out hairstyles for the wedding, but you do."

"So, I'm your double."

Olenna nodded. "More or less."


	17. Yellow Flicker Beat

_"[I move through town, I'm quiet like a fight](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PdILZ_1P74)_   
_[and my necklace is a rope, I tie it and untie](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PdILZ_1P74)"_

Jaime caught up with me as I was leaving the garden. "Cersei wants to meet you. I believe she's jealous."

"I cannot see her," I said with wide eyes. "What if she recognizes me?"

"Cersei only pays attention to her children and her own reflection. You don't have to worry about her remembering you from one meeting four years ago. As far as she knows, you are Desmera Redwyne."

"Of course I am," I added quickly as a few girls walked past. "I will not meet your sister," I hissed as soon as they were out of earshot.

"She isn't going to take no for an answer, I'm afraid." It was then that I realized where we had been waling. Straight into the lion's den, or should I say the lioness.

The guard outside opened the door and Jaime pushed me in lightly. "So this is her," Cersei said stepping in from the balcony. "Everyone is talking about you, Jaime Lannister's new pet."

"I'm not-"

"You Highgarden whores are everywhere. Growing Strong indeed, like invasive vines choking the life out of this place."

"Actually, my family lives in the Arbor, and growing strong are not our words." I didn't offer house Redwyne's words, because I didn't know them. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Jaime smirk.

"She doesn't look seventeen," Cersei noted. "She doesn't act seventeen either."

"She acts like you," Jaime said. Cersei scoffed. Even I wanted to feel a little offended by that.

"Father will like her. She's exactly the kind of girl to keep you out of trouble." She added, "If she isn't getting into trouble herself."

"I'm not sure I understand your meaning," Jaime said.

"The honorable discharge of course. Father wants to send you home to Casterly Rock with a pretty wife, and you've made it easy for him."

I looked at Jaime with panic. He barely glanced at me. "As I've told him, I am not leaving the Kingsguard, that's the end of it. No one is getting married."

"You should know better, dear brother. Tywin Lannister always gets his way."

* * *

"I'm sorry!" He said as soon as we were back in his chambers. "I should have known what my father was thinking. He wants me to leave the Kingsguard." He held up his golden hand. "Honorable discharge."

"He wants to make you lord of Casterly Rock and marry you off to a girl of high enough birth," I continued.

"Of course he would have heard rumors, and assumed he'd gotten me."

"But you want to remain in Kings Landing." I didn't need to add anything else. We both knew I was aware of his relationship with Cersei. "You do want to stay here, don't you?"

"Yes, of course. But, maybe he has a point. What Lord Commander only has one hand?"

"That is the most idiotic thing that I've ever heard come out of your mouth. If you want to be a knight, who cares if you hold your sword with your foot? You lost your sword hand, it seems like the end of the world now, but you're still here."

"You're more understanding than my sister."

"You are more than your hand, Jaime Lannister."

"Are you sure you don't want to marry me?" He asked.

"Even if I thought you were being serious, which you aren't. You are forgetting the real Desmera Redwyne is at home in the Arbor."

"Technicalities."

"I am aware your family has money, but enough to pay off an entire family to pretend I'm their kin?"

He shrugged. "Give me one reason why you can't marry me."

"Other than the fact that I am still not Desmera Redwyne?" I asked sarcastically.

He crossed his arms. "Casterly Rock is worth more than anything you've ever laid eyes on. You would be set for life. What is there I couldn't give you?"

"A kingdom."

He laughed. "So you are scheming!"

"I am not. I just...you were right about there being more of us, more Targaryens." I shook my head. "I don't know why I told you that."

"I already knew. So does everyone I could think to tell."

"Even if they didn't, I do not think you would have told them." I groaned. "I should hate you, but it seems I can't."

"I murdered your father."

"The Mad King was not my father, Ned was. Family is more than blood." I looked at him for a moment. "Maybe that's why I can't hate you. Daenerys would, you are a Lannister and you killed Aerys. But he was horrible. He would have destroyed this city and everyone in it. What you did saved lives."

"Did Brienne tell you that?" He asked. "At this rate my entire reputation at court will be ruined."

"No one had to tell me, you are more noble than you let on. I can see it."

"I suppose we both have our secrets," he said. "You're in love with that bastard. But now you have lost him, he took the black for you." He paused. "Why did you come here, Amina?"

"For Sansa."

"The truth."

"My sister is in danger, I came for her," I insisted.

"You're running." He paused for me to speak but I just stared at him. "What happened to Robb was not your fault. Do not die for a dead man."

I stepped away. I did trust him. But the idea of spending another night drinking with him, seemed a bit less inviting.

* * *

The morning of the royal wedding I woke up early to get ready. Olenna had planned my day so that I would draw as little attention to myself as possible. I was to wear a dress she'd chosen specifically for the occasion. I'd stand with Loras at the ceremony. Then I'd sit with the Martells at the wedding, because we could be sure they wouldn't recognize me.

Aylward knocked on the door. "Are you dressed, my lady?"

"Hardly! Olenna did not think to leave me with handmaidens and this dress is impossible. Why in seven hells would someone have this many straps on a dress, it is like a puzzle!" I could hear Aylward laughing in the hall. "Oh shut up!"

I finally arranged the twisting straps around my shoulders. I had to admit the gown was beautiful. The straps looked like vines and the rest was simple blue-green fabric. I pulled back the hair above my ears and pinned it back out of my face, before stepping out into the hall. Aylward looked me over and frowned. "Don't you like it?" I asked.

"You look like a Tyrell."

"As do you," I noted. He was dressed similarly to Loras. But Aylward's shoulders were broader. He looked more like a soldier, than a pretty highborn boy. "Shall we be going? There's nothing worse than being late to a wedding."

"Are you sure you're alright with this?" He asked. "The last wedding-"

"Do you think I've forgotten so soon what happened at the last wedding I attended?"

There were carriages to take each party to the Sept and Loras was waiting beside one for Aylward and me. He smiled when he saw us and embraced us both. "Margaery told me you were coming, but I didn't believe it."

"I tried to talk her out of it," Aylward said.

Loras helped me into the carriage and the hopped in beside me. "You look beautiful," he told me.

"At least someone thinks so," I said, glancing at Aylward.

"I never said you didn't look nice."

"It was implied."

"Forgive me, but I was not expecting you to be quite so...jovial." Loras shifted uncomfortably.

"It's a royal wedding, how could I be anything else?" I asked. Aylward and Loras shared a look. "I understand that you have been friends for ages. But, if you're going to talk about me, I'd rather you did it out loud."

* * *

When we arrived at the Sept of Baelor, Loras and I were separated from Aylward as we filed into lines. "This is a beautiful place," I whispered to Loras.

"Nothing quite like this where you're from," he responded.

"Definitely not. I live on an island of trees." Loras smiled at me conspiratorially, like we had created our own language.

The bells chimed, letting us know the ceremony was about to begin. We all turned to watch Margaery enter the sept on the arm of her father. She looked beautiful. Her gown was adorned with roses and thorns. The thorn-covered vines that draped my shoulders complimented hers in a subtle way. Even if it was a ruse, I felt like I was a part of something for a moment.

Joffrey appeared to lead Margaery up the stairs. Not for the first time, I wondered how she could stomach marrying someone so sadistic. I wanted that throne, as much as she did, if not more, but there were some things I could never bring myself to do.

Without a word Joffrey cloaked Margaery and symbolically brought her under his protection. I had a feeling, that in reality the Tyrells would be the ones bringing the crown under their protection.

The septon said his piece and then Joffrey kissed Margaery, sealing the deal. We were expected to clap and we did, though few guests looked happy about the ordeal. As the King and new Queen turned to face us, Margaery's eyes locked with mine and she smiled. As much as I wanted to be happy for her, I couldn't bring myself to smile back.

* * *

The wedding feast was outrageous. It was the sort of thing I would have loved as a girl. I was always begging Ned and Catelyn to have a feast and invite guests from near and far. My motivation had mostly been to stuff my face with as much food as possible. It was a wonder I hadn't been a plump little thing. As I'd grown, feasts became a rare opportunity to meet people from outside Winterfell. I looked around now. People from all Seven Kingdoms were in attendance. For the first time in months, I felt a little of my childhood-self peeking out.

Before I could reach my table, fingers clasped my arm. I jumped. "I didn't mean to scare you," Jaime said. We stepped behind a large lion head, out of the view of the royal couple's table. "How are you?"

"Did Aylward tell you to ask me that?" I asked.

"No, but maybe he should have. I'm beginning to think I am the only person you're honest with."

I rolled my eyes. "I am not a child. I won't break down over a silly wedding."

"Hm." He was quiet for a moment. "Funny how color can change so much," Jaime mused.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked, confused at the sudden change in subject.

"You always seemed so Northern, dark hair, pale skin. Now look at you."

"Perhaps it is my lack of Northern blood."

"And your eyes," Jaime continued. "I always thought there were icy blue, but now I think they're more lavender."

"Have you given that much consideration to my eye color, Ser?"

"Just an observation. I've been looking beneath the color of your eyes, for your father's madness."

"And?" I asked, suddenly breathless. I knew what his answer would be but I wanted validation.

"You are not your father's daughter." A moment later he added, "You look like her."

"Who?"

"Your mother, Rhaella."

"What was she like?" I asked. Throughout my childhood everything I learned about my house came from books and lessons. Ned had told me very little, he hadn't known the Targaryens well anyway. I knew more about the previous generations of Targaryens, than the most immediate one.

"Like you. Maybe a little less determined, I don't think she was ever interested in being queen," he told me. It crossed my mind that this was neither the time nor the place for this conversation. But I was hanging on his every word and wanted to hear as much as I could. "She fell in love with a low born man before she married Aerys. After Rhaella married her brother, the knight put down his lance and turned to religion. What is it about you Targaryen women that turn poor men to vows of celibacy?"

"And when she was queen?" I pressed.

He hesitated. "She was brave." There was something he remembered that he did not want to tell me. He looked almost guilty. "She knew her duties and she was dedicated to her children."

"She doesn't sound much like the Targaryens I've heard of," I noted.

"Not all Targaryens are worthy of history books. You've heard the saying, that the Gods flip a coin to decide if a Targaryen will be mad or great. Well, sometimes the coin just falls into the drain." He glanced back towards the feast. "Your table mates will be wondering why your place is empty. You should be going."

I nodded and walked back towards the music. I wound my way through the tables and found my place. I recognized the Martells from their clothing and knew I was in the right spot. I took my seat and the man and woman looked me over. "Desmera Redwyne," I introduced myself.

"I am Oberyn Martell," the man told me. "And this is my paramour, Ellaria Sand." It caught me off guard to be introduced to a bastard. A few women around me scoffed quietly or murmured something to the guests next to them. They were clearly offended by Ellaria's presence, but I wasn't.

"Nice to meet you both," I said with a smile. Ellaria smiled back. I took one of the treats from the tray in front of me. "How are you enjoying King's Landing?"

"It's quite different from Sunspear," she told me.

"I'd expect so. I would love to visit Dorne one day."

"It is a beautiful country, though I suppose I may be a bit biased."

The woman next to me frowned at me. "Have I gotten something on my dress?" I asked her. She shook her head. "Are you afraid the prince has brought his brother's sickness with him? Isn't it gout, Prince Oberyn?" I asked. He nodded. "The rich man's disease. I don't think it's contagious. But even if it was, I highly doubt you're rich enough to catch it." The woman went a little pale and quickly turned back to her husband. Ellaria and Oberyn looked amused. "It's impolite to stare."

"It must be the beauty of you both that draw their eyes," Oberyn said. Both of them had accents that I could listen to for days. Before I could respond, the sound of a goblet clinking drew my attention to the King and Queen.

Joffrey stood. "Everyone, silence! We have had enough amusement today. A royal wedding is not amusing, it is history. The time has come for us to contemplate our history." The giant lion head that Jaime and I had been hidden behind earlier opened and a troupe of dwarves danced out. "I present to you the War of Five Kings!"

The dwarves were dressed in costumes to resemble each of the five kings of Westeros. Robb's impersonator wore a wolf mask. Of course I'd heard the rumors that the Freys had chopped off Robb's head and sown Grey Wind's in its place. There was a churning feeling in my stomach and I thought I was going to throw up the pastry I'd just eaten.

I stood up quickly and walked away from the feast. I didn't want to watch this show. I almost ran right into Loras. "I think I'm going to be sick," I blurted. Almost as soon as the words tumbled from my mouth I turned and threw up in the bushes. Loras had quick reflexes and was there to hold my hair out of my face. "I regret eating so much for breakfast now."

"Are you alright?" He asked.

"I didn't see Robb after the massacre, but I heard what they did to him. I haven't thought about it, I pushed it out of my mind. But seeing that stupid show..."

He grabbed a servant's arm, "Bring my cousin some water please, she isn't feeling well." The girl nodded and hurried off. "I can't imagine what you've been through."

"You lost your king too." After a pause, I added, "He would have been a good one."

"So would Robb. And you would have made a good queen."

"Look the pie!" I heard Margaery exclaim and the guests cheered.

"Your sister will be a good queen," I told Loras.

"There isn't anything Margaery has that you lack."

"And there's nothing I have that she doesn't." Besides a birthright, I added internally. I wanted to get off the topic before someone overheard something we'd rather they didn't.

The girl returned with my water. "Thank you," Loras told her. She curtsied and left us alone again. "Are you returning to the feast?"

I shook my head. "Aylward was right. I cannot handle this."

"It's truly impressive you've made it this long."

The screams of the guests startled me. My first thoughts were of the bloodbath I'd recently escaped. I had to fight the instinct to run toward the Red Keep. Loras put an arm around my shoulder protectively, clearly sensing my fear. We walked quickly towards the festival.

In front of the royal couple's table, Cersei and Jaime were knelt on the ground. Jaime moved and I could see Joffrey on the ground. "Is he dead?" I hadn't intended to whisper but that was all I could muster. Margaery was turned away looking ill.

"The king is dead," Loras muttered.

"Good riddance." My eyes searched the tables. "What happened to Sansa?"


	18. Navigate

_"[time and tide wait for no man](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNs3heMkdAM)"_

The door to my room was flung open and I jumped. I turned to see Jaime standing in the doorway. "You could have just knocked."

He closed the door behind him and walked towards me. "You are not safe here anymore. You must leave at once."

"I cannot just leave, there's nowhere for me to go."

"The Tyrells know who you are, if the trial doesn't go their way they will toss the blame on you. My sister believes Tyrion and Sansa murdered Joffrey. If she knew the Queen in the North was at court, she'd have your head too."

"Margaery would never turn me in."

"Maybe, but can you say the same for Olenna?" He asked. "Look at you, they have their claws in you, or should I say their thorns."

"What would you have me do, Jaime? Go North? Sail across the Narrow Sea? Neither of those options will get me what I want."

He shook his head. "I have a better idea. Come with me." He pulled me from my room and down the hall. He led me to another chamber and knocked. When the door didn't open right away he knocked again, impatiently.

Oberyn Martell opened the door shirtless. "You are interrupting, Ser."

"This is the girl I want you to meet," Jaime told him.

"We've met," Oberyn and I said at the same time.

"It is good to see you again," Oberyn added, smiling at me.

"You met Desmera Redwyne, but I would like you to meet Amina Stark."

I could see Ellaria on the bed behind Oberyn. She leaned up on her elbows and took a look at me. "Let them in, my love." Oberyn stepped aside and Jaime lightly pushed me into the room. "This is the Queen in the North?" Ellaria asked.

I nodded. "Yes, I suppose I did a nice job posing as a southern girl."

"While I will admit that is interesting," Oberyn said. "I do not see why that was so pressing."

"Amina has a plethora of disguises," Jaime said. "Like an onion, peel back one layer and another is revealed. Shall we reveal the next layer?" He asked me. I raised my eyebrow, unsure where he was going with this.

"Turns out I'm not just Queen in the North." Jaime nodded for me to continue. "I am also heir to the Seven Kingdoms. My name is Amina Targaryen."

"But the last Targaryens are across the Narrow Sea."

"My sister is there, she's working on gathering an army to conquer Westeros. But I was not with her when she and my brother were smuggled east. I was here with my father. It was here that Ned Stark found me and took me in. For years I have been forced to hide my identity. But in a few days, another bastard boy will take the throne and all but one of the Seven Kings is dead or defeated. Now is the time for me to reveal myself."

"And the Martells have always supported the Targaryens," Jaime added. "You must take Amina from King's Landing as quickly as possible."

Ellaria and Oberyn shared a look. After a tense moment, Oberyn turned back to us and nodded. "You have my protection, Princess."

Confidence had kicked in as soon as I realized what Jaime was planning. But my relief at the Prince's acceptance was still great. I hugged him and he hugged me back. "You have no idea how amazing it feels to tell someone the truth."

"Ellaria and I knew we liked you from the moment you sat at our table."

"I'm sure you all will have things to discuss and arrangements to make," Jaime said. "I will leave you alone."

"Wait," I called. "Why are you helping me?"

He hesitated. "I swore an oath to Catelyn I would bring her girls home, Arya and Sansa are gone. You are all that is left, and the North is not your home, King's Landing is."

* * *

For the first time in months I was able to get a good night's rest. When I opened my eyes, I was standing on a balcony over looking a city. There was a gasp and I turned around to see my sister. "Amina!" Daenerys jumped up from her seat and sprinted towards me. "My Gods, I thought you had died."

"I've been trying to reach you, but I haven't slept well since Robb was killed."

"Jorah received word. I am so sorry, I know what it's like to lose a husband."

I looked back over the balcony. "Where are we?"

"Meereen. I've taken the city."

"Do they have ships? Will you be able to travel to Westeros soon?" I asked hopeful.

"They do, but Jorah doesn't believe I can carry enough men to conquer Westeros."

"And you no longer have my men for reinforcements. How soon do you think you'll have the manpower and ships?"

She hesitated. "You know how to lead, I do not. I cannot expect to be accepted by the people of Westeros as I am now. I need experience before I can rule Seven Kingdoms."

"What are you saying?"

"I cannot leave Meereen until I know I will be a fit queen. I must control the cities of Slavers' Bay. I don't know how much time that will take."

"Daenerys, I can't wait for you anymore. I have to do something!"

"Something like what?"

"Like making alliances, and building an army, and formulating a plan. Things are being set into motion here, things I can't stop. I will try to help you, but I cannot promise that there will be a space for you on the Iron Throne when you arrive."

"Are you saying you would take the throne without me?"

"I am the first born daughter of Aerys Targaryen. It's my birthright."

* * *

The following morning I went to see Ellaria and Oberyn. Despite my short chat with Daenerys, I arrived in a cheerful mood. But as soon as I set eyes on Ellaria, my happiness evaporated. "Is it Sansa?" I asked.

She shook her head. "No, no, there's been no word of her."

"Then what?"

"Oberyn has agreed to be one of the three judges in the trial." I tried to wrap my head around her dire expression. As surprising as this news was, it wasn't awful. "That means we cannot leave yet."

"Alright," I said, still not understanding.

"Which means, you are in danger for at least a fortnight."

"Oh." I nodded. "I'm sure it's alright, I've been here for a few weeks already. I trust the Tyrells more than Jaime does."

"More than I do," Oberyn said. I hadn't noticed him sitting on the balcony and his voice startled me.

Ellaria rolled her eyes. "My love, you do not trust anyone."

"Untrue, I trust our friend Amina."

"And if she says she trusts the Tyrells then I suppose we should listen to her," Ellaria added.

"I trust her, but I did not say I trusted her uninformed instinct. I am not convinced that family is innocent of Joffery's death. If this trial is not resolved quickly, she could be used as the scapegoat." He sounded very much like Jaime at that moment.

Ellaria shook her head. "I suppose you are going to tell me that we ought to lock Amina in this room until the trial is over, for her own wellbeing. Since everyone is clearly out to get her."

"Oh no, I believe our Amina can take care of herself," he said. "You do not become Queen by relying solely on the protection of others. Surely she can survive a few more weeks at court."

* * *

In less than a week the trial had begun. I filed into one of the stands, filled with many of the same faces I'd seen at the wedding. As Jaime led his younger brother into the room, he found me in the stands and glared at me. I turned towards my neighbor to my right, ignoring him. "Isn't this all so interesting, I've never been to a trial before. Have you?"

The woman shook her head. "It's a shame this is for such a grave crime. But that makes it all the more interesting!" She whispered the last bit. I nodded conspiratorially.

Part of me did pity Tyrion, I had no doubt that he was innocent. I hated that Sansa had been pulled down with him. However, unlike his brother, I had no particular reason to want Tyrion alive either. So I just hoped for the trial to be resolved quickly and painlessly.

He was taken to the podium and chained to it. Tommen rose and so did the audience. I had missed his coronation, at Oberyn's request. Putting myself in front of that many people to take the customary bow was dangerous. Not to mention I wasn't interested in curtsying for a king I did not recognize.

Tommen gave his opening words. Then he handed the trial to his grandfather, Oberyn, and Margaery's father. He left the throne room, and the judges ascended the stairs. "Tyrion of the House Lannister," Tywin began. "You stand accused by the Queen Regent of regicide. Did you kill King Joffrey?"

Tyrion shook his head. "No."

"Did your wife, the Lady Sansa, kill Joffrey?"

"Not to my knowledge."

"Then how would you say he died?"

"Choked on his pigeon pie," Tyrion said with a shrug.

"So you would blame the bakers?" Tywin asked.

"Or the pigeons, just leave me out of it."

I couldn't help but laugh. I quickly buried by face in my hands to control myself, I noticed the woman next to me was doing the same. "Is it appropriate to slip out of a trial?" I whispered.

As we sat through testimony after testimony the trial grew less amusing. It was clear they were stacking the evidence against him. Maybe Tyrion had not killed Joffrey, but it was clear he was not the boy's biggest fan. Then Grand Maester Pycelle was called to the stands. He confirmed that Tyrion had confiscated his poisons, on of which had been used to kill the King. His proof was a necklace that I'd seen Sansa wearing at the wedding. The beads had been filed with poison.

The Master of Whisperers, Varys, took the witness podium next. "I too have heard Lord Tyrion threaten our late King. During a small council meeting Tyrion said, "Perhaps you should speak more softly to me then. Monsters are dangerous, and just now kings are dropping like flies.""

"During a small council meeting?" Mace asked.

"Yes, right after we received word of Robb Stark's death. He did not seem particularly thrilled about the news. Perhaps his marriage to Sansa Stark made him more sympathetic to the Northern cause." There were gasps of shock throughout the audience, I shuttered.

"We will adjourn for now," Tywin said rising. "Toll the bells in an hours time."

I was one of the first people out of the hall. I weaved through the halls of the Red Keep hoping to avoid anyone who might stop to talk. I pushed through the doors to my chambers. Margaery was on my heels.

"I've barely seen you in days, Mina. What is going on with you?"

"Nothing, this is just all too much for me. I should not have come here. I need to leave, King's Landing is not safe for me."

"It never was. I tried to warn you!"

"I know, but my sister is Gods know where. I am trapped in this castle until the Martells are free and can take me away. I am a caged bird, Marg."

"Prince Oberyn is taking you to Dorne?" She asked surprised.

"Yes, he believes that is the safest place for me. Thank you for sitting us together at your wedding, it worked in my favor."

"Does he know who you are?"

"Yes, he does, and he has agreed to help me," I explained.

"In exchange for what? Do you know what you are giving up for safety?" She questioned.

"No, Margaery, I don't. But I trust him."

"You trusted Jaime Lannister too, I am not sure your judgment is sound!"

"Don't forget I also put my trust in your family. Now look at me, your grandmother has turned me into you. Do you think that is a coincidence? Have you asked Olenna if she had any part in Joffery's death? I believe that she did, so does Oberyn. If the trial goes awry, she'll have you spirited away. I will be left here unsuspecting, until there is a knock on the door. I'll be the last Tyrell left in King's Landing, and they'll take me in. Then what? They look a little closer and realize I'm in the Queen in the North? I am a dead woman, Margaery. I do not have much time left."

"You are being paranoid, Amina! My grandmother would never hurt you she genuinely likes you. I am your friend!"

"I'm sorry, Margaery. But I do not think we can be friends. Not when we both want the same thing."


	19. Youth

_"[and if you're still bleeding, you're the luck ones](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VEpMj-tqixs)_   
_[cause most of our feelings, they are dead and they are gone](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VEpMj-tqixs)"_

I did not attend the following days of the trial. Instead I sat in my chambers and drank wine and read books. I was locked in a gilded cage. On the third day there was a knock on my chamber doors. "Go away, Jaime," I shouted. The door opened, it was Ellaria.

"Is the Lannister still stopping by?" Ellaria asked.

"He tried to yesterday," I told her. "I pretended I was asleep. It isn't like I made the choice to stay in King's Landing. If it was up to me, we would be on our way to Dorne already."

"He likes you."

I shrugged. "Is the trial over?"

"Tyrion demanded a trial by combat," she informed me. "Cersei has chosen Gregor Clegane as her champion."

I raised an eyebrow. "And Tyrion?"

"Oberyn has volunteered."

"Oberyn volunteered to fight The Mountain?" I asked, shocked.

"You know this man?" She asked me.

"Only by reputation," I admitted.

"He is the man that raped and killed Elia," she told me. "Right here in the Red Keep."

I shuddered. I had heard the stories. In addition to killing Elia Martell, he'd killed both her children. According to Ned, I had been kept on the other side of the Keep from the Martell branch of my family. Aerys had been paranoid of the Martells turning against him. That was what had allowed Ned to find me before anyone else.

"Will you come to the fight?" She asked me.

"As long as I don't have to sit with the Tyrells, I have a feeling Margery won't be thrilled to see me."

She waved her hand at me. "Stand in the back. You should see the Mountain die, it will be justice for the deaths of the best part of your family."

I didn't mention that the Mountain did not kill the best members of my family, the Boltons and the Freys did. "I'll be there."

"Are your things packed?" She asked. I nodded "And your knight?"

"He's been stopping by frequently, I'll make sure he's packed."

"Good, good, I want to leave as soon as the trial is over," Ellaria said. "I've had enough of this city."

* * *

The following day Aylward and I stood in the back of the crowd overlooking the battle. "How's Loras?" I asked.

"Fine, though I did hear you and Margaery had a falling out."

"Yes, it appears that I've alienated most of my former allies." He glanced at me out of the corner of his eye. "My sister is apparently going to be delayed longer than we thought."

"I suppose you handled that information with grace and understanding."

"Grace and understanding are two things I have struggled with as of late."

"You've been through so much, it's a wonder you've kept it together as well as you have."

"Maybe a trip to Dorne is just what I need," I said. "The sun and the ocean, it sounds lovely. I would like just for a moment to rest, without worrying about a war or a crown."

The crowd drowned out Aylward's next words. I stood on my toes to look down into the pit. Oberyn and the Mountain both stood under their respective tents preparing for the fight. "His armor is quite thin, don't you think?" I whispered to Aylward. He nodded, looking worried.

Grand Maester Pycelle stood in the middle and gave the opening remarks. He was long winded, and eventually the trumpet cut him off. He quickly hurried to the side as the two champions took their places. Oberyn twirled his spear around, inciting cheers from the crowd. "He's so confident for a man fighting a giant." Finally the battle began. The two fought, neither gaining the upper hand. Then Oberyn knocked off the Mountain's helmet.

For another moment they fought, and then the Mountain cut Oberyn's spear in two. Oberyn's squire tossed him another and the fight continued. Oberyn stabbed him, first in the side, and then the leg. Gregor fell to his knees. Even from this high up, I could hear Oberyn shouting. He was enrages. "You rapped her, you murdered her!" He ran at the Mountain and stabbed him in the chest. "You killed her children!"

The Mountain didn't get up. Oberyn began pacing around him. "Why isn't he finishing him off?" I hissed.

Oberyn shouted the same thing again. The Mountain reached out and tripped Oberyn. He fell to the ground and lost a grip on his spear. The Mountain began beating him. The crowd stood, and my view was blocked. All I could hear was Oberyn's screams, and then his screams stopped. Ellaria let out a wail, and I knew it was all over.

Aylward grabbed my arm and steered me back towards the Keep. No one paid us any attention, they were all as shocked as I was. "We have to leave, Amina, now."

* * *

Aylward and I went to the harbor. We weren't sure if Ellaria would be there, but our passage to Dorne had already been booked. At least we'd be able to get away.

Ellaria was standing on the deck of the ship when we arrived. She walked to us, her face betrayed no emotion, but tears made tracks down her face. She wrapped her arms around me. "I'm so, so sorry," I told her. "I know how it feels, and I know that nothing can make it better."

She stepped back, wiping her eyes. "Oberyn sent word ahead to Doran that you would be joining us. He'll want to meet with you when we arrive." I nodded. "If you'll excuse me, I think I'm going to go lie down now."

"Of course." We watched her walk below deck. I smoothed my dress, it was one Margaery had loaned me. I watched Kings Landing grow smaller in the distance. "Do you think Sansa is okay?" I asked him.

"If they're anything like Catelyn or you, I'm sure she is," Aylward said. "I'm sorry we couldn't help her, but at least she's gone from King's Landing now." I nodded. I had to hope that wherever she'd been taken, it was better than here.

"I'm glad I have you," I told him. "You are the closet thing I have to family."

"We'll find them," he promised me. "Your family will be reunited one day."

* * *

We arrived in Dorne a few weeks later. Ellaria spent most of the trip in her cabin. Sometimes I could hear her crying on the other side of the wall. She had been with Oberyn for ages. It was going to take time for her to be okay again.

I was surprised when we didn't dock in Sunspear, but at the Water Gardens. The Gardens were unlike anything I had ever seen before. It reminded me a bit of Qarth, unsurprisingly. Another great civilization of Essos had helped build the Dornish peninsula.

When we arrived at the gates of the Water Gardens, a tall, dark skinned man with a spear approached me. "Prince Doran has requested you meet with him." He glanced at Aylward, and added, "Alone."

I followed the man into one of the many buildings and up to the second floor. He motioned for me to go through a door, and did not follow. The space was less of a room, and more of a balcony. Prince Doran sat by the railing, staring out over the gardens. He glanced at me as I walked in. He gave me a large, genuine smile. "Ah, Amina Targaryen. I would rise to meet you, but alas," he motioned at his wheelchair.

"It's very nice to meet you, your highness."

"Please, just call me Doran." He motioned me over. "My brother wrote of you, he quite liked you."

"I would have enjoyed getting to know him better," I said. "I'm sorry for your loss."

He gave me a small smile. "By brother was always reckless. There is no one at fault here, but himself. It's a pity his paramour had to see the whole thing." I nodded. He was quiet for a minute, looking out over the gardens. "This is my favorite spot in the Water Gardens."

"It's beautiful," I said.

"You were probably surprised to find yourself here, instead of in Sunspear. I do enjoy the Tower, but there are far too many stairs for a man in my condition. Myrcella has been hoping for a tour. Perhaps you can accompany her and Trystane one day."

"I would love that," I admitted.

He looked at me and smiled. "You're still just a girl. You've lost so much, but don't let them take that away from you. Enjoy your youth, it does not last forever."

"Thank you for letting me stay here," I said.

"It's my honor to host the Targaryen Princess." He looked back over the garden. "There will be much to discuss in the coming months, but for now you should rest, Princess."

* * *

As time passed, I began to feel more like myself. New clothes, good food, plenty of sun, it was the perfect therapy. Every night I dreamt, but not once did I see my sister. There was a part of me that thought I was better off without her.

A timid knock on my door interrupted my breakfast. "Come in!" I called. The door opened slowly and then a head peaked in.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ruin your meal," she said.

"If it bothered me that much, I would not have let you come in," I told her. The small blonde girl walked over. I motioned for her to join me. She reached for one of the pastries on my tray and then stopped. "Go ahead." She picked a stuffed roll and took a bite. Jam squashed out on her cheek and she smiled as she wiped it away.

"I'm Myrcella," she said.

"I know who you are," I said with a laugh. "I met you at Winterfell, remember?"

"I've grown up since then."

I nodded. "I'm sure your parents are proud," I said.

She tilted her head, I realized my mistake, her "father" was dead. "Mother writes from time to time, but she always cared far more about my brothers."

"Do you like Dorne?" I asked her.

She nodded enthusiastically. "It's beautiful here, isn't it?"

"It really is."

"Have you met Trystane yet?" She asked.

I shook my head. "No, I really haven't met anyone yet."

"You have to let me give you a tour!" She said hopping up. "I'll show you all my favorite spots!" She practically danced around the table and grabbed my hands, pulling me to my feet. I barely had time to stuff a pastry into my mouth.

I followed Myrcella through the Gardens. "Did you see my family in Kings Landing? How are they?"

"Well, I suppose they're doing alright, under the circumstances."

"You were at the wedding, weren't you?" I nodded. "It's just awful what happened to Joffery." She shuddered. "We were never close. How's Tommen?"

"I never spoke to him," I told her. "I missed his coronation."

"Oh, of course," she said. "You had to hide. Everyone thinks you're dead."

I nodded. Doran was keeping my Targaryen name to himself for the time being. More people knew that I was a Stark, but even then only the immediate household. "Jaime helped me escape."

"You're friends with my uncle?" Her eyes sparkled. She reminded me of the kind of princess children pretended to be when they played make believe. She was polite, and kind, she even dressed in gowns that reminded me of cakes. I had a hard time believing she was a Lannister.

"Yes, I guess we were friends."

Something over my shoulder caught her eye and she grinned. "Trystane!" She waved him over. I turned to see the boy. He smiled back at her and turned to walk in our direction.

When he joined us, he took Myrcella's hand and kissed it. Then he turned to me. "You must be Amina. My father told me you had arrived."

"I was just giving Amina a tour of the gardens," Myrcella told him. "She was telling me about King's Landing."

"Sorry to have intruded," he said. "I will let you two get back to it. It was nice to make your acquaintance, Amina."

"You too."

He smiled at us and then turned back towards the building. Myrcella watched him walk away, a dreamy far off look on her face. I knew it well. "You love him, don't you?"

She giggled. "Yes, I think so."

"I'm glad, arranged marriages don't always work out so well."

"What about yours?" She asked curiously. Her eyes widened. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"It's alright," I told her. She relaxed again. "I loved Robb, but there was another I was in love with."

"What happened to him?" She asked. "If you don't mind me asking."

"He serves the Nights Watch now." I paused. "I haven't been able to write to him in months, I have no idea if he's okay. He has no idea that I'm still alive."

"Then you have to write to him now," she said. "There has to be something you can do to bring him back, you're a princess." I startled a little bit at the title. She gave me a small smile. "I overheard Trystane and his father talking about you. But you needn't worry about me, I won't tell a soul."

I smiled. "I believe you."

She waved me away. "Go, go, there's no time to waste."


	20. Torn Apart

_"[I could only be myself with you around](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLrtEyisDMU)_   
_[and now there's nothing left for me to think about](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLrtEyisDMU)"_

I laughed as I walked away. Instead of going to my chambers, I went to Prince Doran's balcony. Areo, his guard's captain, let me pass. "Princess, what brings you by?" He asked me.

"Just a conversation with Myrcella," I told him. "I've been lounging around for long enough, it's time we discuss the future."

"Two weeks and you are already talking business," he said amused. "Your sword did say you were quite high strung."

"I assume you have some plan?" I asked him. "You wouldn't have agreed to take me in, if you didn't."

"A coup is a delicate thing," he told me. "We need supporters, I have already began contacting known sympathizers."

"I didn't realize there were so many of them," I said.

"Many of those who bent the knee to the Baratheons did so reluctantly. It will take time, but we will garner support for your cause. I suppose it will be the same in the North, but my men have not made it that far."

"The Boltons hold the north now," I reminded him. "And many Northern men fought for Robert in the rebellion."

"But how many Northern houses willingly follow the Boltons? They are traitors to the North. You are their Queen, they will support you." I remembered Lord Karstark's execution. Not every Northern house would back me, but there surely were a few.

"It would help my case in the North if we can find the remaining Starks. Reinstating them as Wardens of the North is a sign of goodwill."

He nodded considering. "We will do what we can to find your family. Have you given any thought to who you would chose as King?"

The question caught me off guard. "No, I just assumed that-"

"We are very passionate about love in Dorne," Doran told me. "Men and women are free to love who they want. I would not ask you to wed someone you did not love." He shook his head. "I know you recently lost your husband, it's too much to ask for you to consider taking another so soon. Dornish laws of succession allow for a queen without a king, but-"

"The man I love took the black," I said, cutting him off.

"Interesting," he said. If he was shocked at my confession he didn't show it. "Who is he?"

"Jon Snow," I said. "Eddard Stark's bastard."

He nodded. "You were the last person to speak to your king before he died?" I nodded. "Then if you were to say his dying wish was to legitimize his brother, who could argue with you?"

I remember Robb's last words, that had actually been his dying wish in so many words. "That only fixes half the problem," I said. "He's at the Wall."

"As queen you will have the ability to pardon him from his vows."

"I..." I trailed off. There wasn't really anything I could say.

"I will send from you as soon as I have news on your supporters," Doran said. "Until then, please, relax."

* * *

Myrcella and I returned from a short trip to Sunspear and found Ellaria waiting outside my room. Ellaria sneered at Myrcella. "I'll see you for supper?" Myrcella asked, I nodded and she left me.

"Ellaria, how are you?" I asked. "I haven't seen you since we arrived." I motioned for her to follow me into my chambers. She did not look like the broken thing I'd last seen on the ship.

She took a seat. "Doran will not go to war," she said simply. I must have looked confused, because she continued. "He refuses to avenge Oberyn's death."

"Oberyn died in a trial by combat," I reminded her softly. "It was his choice to fight that battle."

"He died because of the Lannisters. They deserve to pay for this." She shook her head. "How can you associate with that Lannister girl? Her family has done nothing but destroy yours."

"Myrcella is just a girl," I protested. "She had no part in any of this. If you just wait, Doran is amassing support for a rebellion. You'll get your war, Ellaria."

She spat. "It will not be my war. It will be yours." She stood up and walked out of my room.

Aylward stepped in, looking bewildered. "What was that?" He asked.

"I believe I just lost another ally," I said. "She's not taking Oberyn's death well."

"Prince Doran is concerned for her."

"You and Prince Doran talk a lot," I mused.

"I'm the sole member of your Queensguard, and your small council, it is my duty to stay informed."

"Has he received any word yet?" I asked.

He shook his head. "The houses sworn to the Martells have said they will back Doran when he choses to go to war. But none of Doran's men sent outside of Dorne have returned."

"Other than your newfound friendship with our host, how do you like Dorne?" I asked.

"The stories about this place are true," he told me. "The wine is good and the women are better."

"Alright, I don't believe I need to hear any more on that," I said. We both laughed. "I never imagined I'd be able to laugh so hard again."

"Neither did I." He looked at my desk, there were papers scattered everywhere. "Writing a letter?"

"Trying to," I said. "How does one explain the last year to someone who doesn't even know you're alive? This is not the sort of thing I want to write, but who knows the next time I'll see Jon."

"You'll find a way," he told me. He squeezed my shoulder as he walked out of my room. I knew he just meant I'd find a way to compose a nice letter, but he gave me another idea. Quickly I climbed into bed.

* * *

I awoke in Daenerys' throne room, but my sister was nowhere to be found. "Hello?" I called. I walked up the stairs and into the room with the balcony over looking the study. Missandei looked up startled.

"Amina?" She asked.

I nodded. "Where is everyone?"

"The fighting pits," she said, there was a hint of disgust in her voice.

"Gods, why-" I broke off. "I didn't come here for Daenerys, I came looking for you."

"For me, your grace?"

"I know it has been months, but is the girl with the Sight still with you?" I asked her.

"Kaeshai?" She asked. "Yes, she lives here in Meereen now. Would you like me to take you to her?"

"Yes, please." She stood up and motioned for me to follow her out of the pyramid.

"Have you spoken to your sister recently?" Missandei asked.

I shook my head. "Not since our fight. I didn't mean for things to get so out of hand."

"She'll come around."

"Daenerys has a way of holding grudges. As do I, I'm afraid."

Missandei led me down a street. Children ran past us, and vendors tried to shove products in our faces. It reminded me of Flea Bottom in King's Landing, except it smelled exceptionally better.

We neared a door and it opened before Missandei had the chance to knock. Kaeshai motioned us inside, saying something in Valyrian. "She says she been expecting us," Missandei translated.

"I need to speak to someone," I told Kaeshai. Missandei translated for me as I went. "Someone too far for me to reach through ordinary means."

"Before you wanted only to see," Missandei translated.

I nodded. "Things have changed. I need to know if it's possible to use this ability I have with Daenerys to speak with someone else. I was able to when I was trapped in the House of the Undying, but I haven't been able to do it myself."

Kaeshai rattled something off frantically. "She's heard stories of the House of the Undying," Missandei explained. "She says they're terrifying."

I nodded. "It was."

"She says that she can do what you're asking, but only because you have the magic of old Valyria."

"What does she need me to do?"

"This is blood magic," Missandei warned me. "This is very dangerous."

"I have to try," I told her. Missandei nodded at Kaeshai. The woman led me to a table and sat me down. She removed a burning candle from the wall and sat it on the table, and then she took my hand and made a cut down my palm. I watched as the blood droplets fell into the flame. She said something quietly. "Think of the person you wish to see, she'll make sure you get there."

I closed my eyes. I imagined Jon, trips to the Godswood, sparing in the courtyard. I could almost feel the cold. Then I heard something drop, and my eyes flew open. Jon was staring at me, mouth wide open. "Ami?" I flew towards him, almost tripping over the book he had dropped. He wrapped his arms around me and I pressed my face into his neck, breathing him in. "Is this real?"

I didn't answer right away. I was too overcome with emotion. Finally I let go of him and nodded. "It's a very long story, and I'm not sure how much time I have."

"You're alive," he whispered. He put his hands on my face and just looked at me. I leaned in and kissed him. There was a knock on the door. "Just a minute!" Jon shouted annoyed. I took the moment to look around the room.

"An office?" I asked.

"I'm Lord Commander," he said. I let go of him. "What?"

"Right before Robb died, he asked me to come here," I told him. "You're heir to the North, those were his last words, he was going to legitimize you. Doran said I could be queen and still be with you. But I know you, you won't leave these men, not now."

"They need me," he said. "Winter is coming, and we need to be ready. There are things out there, terrifying things that I don't even really understand. It falls on me to keep those things from crossing the wall."

"I wish you'd never left," I said bitterly.

"This is to protect you, to protect everyone."

"I don't care about everyone," I said, grabbing his arms. "I just care about us."

"That's not true," he said quietly. "You care more than anyone I've ever met. I know that when you become queen, you'll be a great one. You're the one that told me this isn't goodbye."

Tears sprung to my eyes, clouding my vision. "We were supposed to have the storybook ending."

"Storybook endings don't exist." He reached up and wiped my eyes.

"I'll come to the wall, forget the Martells. I'll join the Night's Watch," I blurted out frantically. "You can't turn me away. I guarantee I'm a better fighter than half these men. Then when this is all over, when winter is over, we can start again."

"Please don't throw away your dreams for me, it's never what I wanted."

"Don't you want me to be happy?" I asked him.

"Of course I do, and I know you will be, just not with me." He kissed my forehead.

I stepped away. "I have to go."

"Ami, wait."

"Goodybe, Jon."

* * *

I woke in a bed I didn't recognize. I pushed myself up on my hands, my arms shook and I dropped back down to the bed. Missandei appeared above me. "You're alive," she said relieved. "We didn't think you were going to come back. Kaeshai said you were stretched too thin, in too many places at once. She thought your mind was lost in the in-between."

Kaeshai walked over, saying something as she walked. "She says you're lucky to be alive."

"I was hoping I'd be up to tracking down a few more people," I said, my voice was quiet.

"You should go back to your body and rest," Missandei told me. "Daenerys was right, this is too dangerous."

Kaeshai sat down on the bed next to me and took my hands. The one she had cut was bandaged now. She said something to me, very seriously. I glanced to Missandei. I wished that I had paid more attention to Maester Luwin when he had tried to teach me High Valyrian. "She says there's another way to do what you've just done, a safer way."

"How?" I asked.

"The Valyrians used dragonglass candles," she said. "When lit they could see over great distances. They could look into the minds of others, and communicate with those far away. But they haven't burned in years."

"A candle made of glass," I mused. "That does sound like it would be tricky to light." I looked at Kaeshai, "Thank you."

Missandei and I walked out into the street, she started the walk back to the pyramid, but I didn't follow. "Aren't you coming? Daenerys should be back by now."

"Please don't tell her I was here."

"I'm sure she'd understand."

"I'll make amends with my sister one day, but today has already been quite long."

Missandei nodded. "Goodbye, your grace."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out the Jon companion chapter in Different Lives, Different Destinies


	21. By The Throat

_"[if I could catch you and cut your ties](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2e1br8dVXAQ)_   
_[I would leave you every time](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2e1br8dVXAQ)"_

I woke up to Aylward shaking me. "Gods, Amina, wake up!" He shouted. I sat up. My stomach churned and I ran for my chamber pot. I dropped to my knees and threw up my lunch.

"Are you alright?" Aylward asked me. "Were you with your sister? Did something happen again?" He looked quite afraid. The last time he'd had to try so hard to shake me awake, I had just barely escaped the House of the Undying.

"I was...trying something new," I told him. "It worked. However, I'm not keen on trying it again any time soon."

"You're wearing your clothes from yesterday," he realized. "How long have you been asleep?"

"Yesterday?" I asked. "I went to sleep right after you left. It's still light outside, I couldn't have been gone that long."

"You missed dinner with Doran, he had a tray sent up but it's sitting in the hallway."

"Alright, yes, I definitely will not be trying that again." I ran my fingers through my hair. "Did you come here to tell me something? Or were you just checking on me."

"Jaime Lannister is here," Aylward told me.

"What? Why?"

"Something about rescuing Myrcella," he said. "Prince Doran asked if you could speak to him, I thought you might want to anyway." He looked at me sitting on the floor next to my chamber pot. "Then again, maybe you should just rest."

"I've been asleep for an entire day, I've had enough rest." I stood up, and the room started spinning. Aylward grabbed me. "Maybe if you could just...bring me some water and something light to eat. I'll change clothes."

He nodded and let me go slowly. Then he went out into the hallway. I steadied myself as I went through my new closet for something to wear. I struggled to untie the laces on the dress I was wearing. The door opened again and one of Myrcella's handmaidens stepped in. "Ser Caswell asked me to assist you. Are you alright, my lady?"

"Just a little under the weather." She helped me change into a different dress, and then she brushed my hair and arranged it so it was out of my face. "That will be all," I said, dismissing her.

She opened the door just as Aylward returned. The two almost collided and the girl giggled, he smiled at her. "Why are you always so nice?" I groaned.

"I beg your pardon?" He asked.

I didn't repeat myself. I took the water and chugged it. Then selected an orange from the tray and set about unpeeling it. "I'm in a very terrible mood."

"I can see that. Are you going to tell me what happened?"

I ate a piece of orange, taking a moment to chew and deiced how much to tell Aylward. "A woman in Meereen helped me to speak to Jon. I had to go, I needed to talk to him in person, there was too much to put into a letter. But now he's Lord Commander and he told me he couldn't be with me, and-"

"Amina, please slow down. How did you get there?"

"Blood magic," I admitted. "I suppose that's why I'm so sick." He nodded as if he understood perfectly. "Can you please be angry, or scared, or something besides calm? A person cannot be calm all the time, it's unnatural!"

He sat on the side of the bed next to me. "Why would I be angry with you?"

"Because I put myself in danger, time after time," I said. "And I drag you with me. But you never get angry with me, you just do what I say."

"You're my Queen," he said. "I believe in you, I trust you. I am also very worried about you, but I could never be mad at you."

"You should be scared of the magic," I said. "I can travel across the Narrow Sea and have tea with my twin sister whenever I nap. I've held a baby dragon. Today I used blood magic to get into a fight with the love of my life."

"There is nothing there to be scared of, you're amazing. You fight better than some men I know. You can captivate a room with your words. And you always find the best in every person."

"Oh, Aylward," I cried. I hugged him. He let me cry on his shoulder for a few minutes. Then he helped me to my feet. "I couldn't ask for a better Commander for my Queensguard."

"If you're going to start calling me Commander, it would be nice to have a few other swords to command," he teased.

"How about Jaime?" I asked.

A look of panic flashed across his face. But very calmly he said, "You do remember Jaime Lannister only has one hand, yes?"

I laughed. "I'm only kidding! But now I know you do have more emotions than that calm exterior would suggest. Show me to Jaime's room?"

"Of course, your grace."

* * *

Areo was standing guard outside Jaime's room. It was certainly a step up from a prison cell, but the room still had bars instead of a door. He smiled when he saw me. "Amina." I walked up to him and gave him a hug. For a moment he did nothing, and then he hugged me back. "Your hair has gotten quite light," he noted.

"I'm done dyeing my hair," I told him.

He reached up and touched my hair. "I'm sure it will look good on you."

"Why didn't you send word you were coming?" I asked.

"Threats have been made against Myrcella's life," he said.

"Threats?"

"Cersei received a box with a viper statue. The snake was holding Myrcella's necklace in its mouth."

"Ellaria and the Sand Snakes," I realized. "Since Oberyn's death, Ellaria has been hell bent on going to war. She and Oberyn's eldest daughters have been planning something. None of us knew what."

"They have the girls locked up, they attacked when Bronn and I first saw Myrcella."

"So, had you retrieved Myrcella without any problems, you wouldn't have even said hello?"

"It wasn't exactly an official diplomatic mission."

"I'm offended." He smirked. "Myrcella is happy here, truly."

"She said as much when she stopped by," he told me. "Do you really believe she is safe here?"

"With the Sand Snakes out of the picture, yes. She and Trystane are in love. It's rare that an arranged marriage works out so agreeably, it would be wrong to take that away from her."

"Hmm. Have you spent much time with her? What's she like?"

"Everyone adores her, she's smart and kind. She knows who I am, but hasn't told a soul, not even her handmaidens. She certainly didn't get her kindness from her mother." He smiled softly.

"I would like to get to know her."

"Stay here." He looked just as surprised as I was at the words.

"What?"

"Don't take her back to King's Landing. She's no safer there than she is here, and at least here she's happy. And you can get to know your daughter."

"Cersei would never-"

"Send her a raven, say you're staying to protect her," I suggested. "Or let her think you died."

"She'd send someone else for Myrcella eventually."

"Then we'd just have to stop them." I shrugged. "Doran is planning a rebellion, he wants to put me on the throne. This is what you hoped for when you arranged for me to come here, is it not?" He nodded. I had other words planned, something Aylward would have called captivating. But those words died on my lips. "Why?" I asked softly.

"I don't know," he whispered. I hadn't realized how close we had gotten until he kissed me. Much to my own surprise, I didn't push him away. "What about the bastard?"

"Shh." He placed kisses slowly down my neck.

"That large man with the axe is gone," he told me.

"Areo knows I could take you in a fight," I teased.

"You're the one who said I could be a knight even if I held my sword with my foot."

I smiled. "I didn't say how good of a knight you'd be." I untied the sash around his Dornish robe. He started untying the laces on my dress, but he was slow with only one hand. "Trust me, if I wanted to kill you, you wouldn't be able to stop me."

"Oddly that only makes me want to untie this faster."

* * *

My head rested on Jaime's chest, and he drew circles on my back with his finger. "I was having an awful day," I mused. "However, I'm feeling significantly better now."

"What happened?" He asked.

"I offered to legitimize Jon and relieve him from his Night's Watch vows. He said no."

"In a letter?"

"Something like that. He told me to be happy without him, I'm not sure that's possible, but I'm trying to prove myself wrong."

"Ah. That explains this."

"I suppose it does." I sighed. I rolled over so I was on my back, looking up at the ceiling. "It certainly helped get my mind off things. I haven't been with anyone since Robb..." I trailed off.

"I haven't been with anyone but Cersei."

"I don't believe that for a moment." I sat up on my elbows.

"It's true."

"Hmm. Whoever thought a Targaryen and a Lannister would be friends?" I mused.

"Certainly no one in our generation."

"I'm glad we are."

He smiled. "Me too."

"You're going back to Kings Landing." It was a statement, not a question.

"I have to."

"That's unfortunate. I wish I could go back, Dorne is so far from the rest of the world." I sighed. "One day."

"Brienne went looking for your sisters," Jaime told me.

"Did she? I hope she succeeds." A moment later I was crying. Jaime looked at me sort of panicked, as if he had never seen a woman cry before. "They're the only things I have left."

"There are rumors from the Boltons that Rickon and Bran are still alive." I looked at him, unable to believe it. "Apparently they ran off before Winterfell was burned."

"But Theon would have told me," I insisted. But I remembered how I actually hadn't let Theon do much talking.

"The Greyjoys were never much for courage or honor."

I shook my head. "If they're out there, then I have to find them."

"Hopefully the Boltons will be long gone by then," he said. "It wouldn't be good for the boys to end up in their hands."

I groaned. "This world is so large and scary. Do you ever think about Sothoryos?" I asked suddenly. "Or the Summer Isles?"

"Margaery and Joffrey had a Summer Islander dance at their wedding."

I rolled my eyes. "But imagine a land where it's always summer. I bet no one there has ever once uttered the phrase "winter is coming." I wish I could go there."

"There isn't anything stopping you."

"Oh sure, just the fate of the Seven Kingdoms and the lives of my siblings," I muttered. "Nothing of any consequence."

"Sothoryos is full of diseases anyway."

"There's that scary part I mentioned." I lay my head on his chest again. "I'll talk to Doran for you. He'll listen to what I have to say. But for a moment let's just lay here and imagine we're in a land of endless summer."

* * *

Myrcella met me in the hallway on the way to the solar room. "I like your dress."

She did a twirl, the Dornish dress didn't billow like her usual gowns, but it was quite pretty. "It's new. Would you like one? I can have the seamstress create a complimentary wardrobe for us."

She sounded excited, it was almost hard for me to let her down. "I'm quite comfortable in what I've already acquired, but thank you."

"I do like your dresses," she admitted. Upon arriving in Dorne, I'd created a wardrobe of southern pieces in northern colors. It was a perfect blend of my heritage. For the first time in my life, I had the final say in what I wore. No one was pressuring me to fit in.

We walked into the solar room where Doran, Trystane, and Ellaria were already waiting. Areo and Aylward both stood to the sides of the room. Myrcella sat next to Trystane, but snuggled next to him so there was plenty of room for me on the settee.

Ellaria regarded me coolly. Doran motioned for one of the servants to pour the wine. I took a large sip from my cup before everyone else was served, and Doran looked at me with amusement.

The door opened once more, Jaime walked in. "Forgive us," Doran said. "We've started without you."

"Princess Myrcella," Jaime said a bit surprised.

"Uncle."

"Lovely dress," he said.

"You don't like it?" She asked, tilting her head.

"Aren't you cold?"

"Not at all, the Dornish climate agrees with me."

"Prince Trystane," Jaime said tersely. He sat down across from me. I gave him a small smile, which he returned. I caught Ellaria's look of disgust and raised an eyebrow.

"What are you doing in Dorne?" She asked Jaime.

"Looking out for safety of my niece."

"And instead of sending a raven, or speaking to me directly," Doran began. "You chose to enter my country secretly, and abduct our guest against her will."

"We received a threatening message," Jaime told him. "The princess's necklace in the jaws of a viper."

"That necklace was stolen from my room," Myrcella said.

Doran looked at Ellaria, who gave nothing away. A servant placed food on the table between the two settees. "Perfect," Jaime said. "A fine meal before the beheading."

"I will not take your head," Doran said. Ellaria shot him a look. "The people want war, but I have seen it. I have seen the bodies piled up on the battlefields, and the orphans starving in the streets. I do not want to lead my country into that hell."

"No, you want to break bread with the Lannisters," Ellaria said, disgusted.

"That is precisely what we are doing," Doran said. "Amina speaks highly of this man, she says his intentions are true. I am inclined to believe her." He picked up his wine and held it up. "Let us toast to King Tommen, First of His Name, King of the Andals and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms."

We each picked up our cups and took a drink. All but Ellaria. She tipped her cup slowly, pouring her wine onto the rug. "How can you drink to a king you do not support?" Ellaria spat at me.

I sat my cup back down slowly. "It's called diplomacy. Perhaps you should give it a try."

"King Tommen insists on his sister's return to the capital?" Doran asked, as if no one had noticed Ellaria's outburst.

"I'm afraid he does," Jaime said.

"I cannot disobey a direct order from my king," Doran said. Myrcella looked at him, upset. "The Princess will return with you to King's Landing. As will Prince Trystane." Myrcella relaxed, Trystane looked at her and smiled. "For the goodwill between Dorne and the Crown to continue, their engagement must stand."

"I accept," Jaime said.

"One more thing," Doran said. "My brother was named to the Small Council before his death, Trystane will take his place."

"You have my word," Jaime said.

Ellaria stood up suddenly. "No wonder you cannot stand, you have no spine."

Doran reached out and grabbed her wrist as she passed. "You are mother to four of my nieces, for their sakes I hope you have a very long life. But, if you speak to me that way again, you will not." She yanked her wrist away from him and left the room.


	22. Monster

_"[I saw you late last night, come to harm](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDCvU4ef6qk)_  
_[I saw you dance in the devil's arms](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDCvU4ef6qk)"_

Doran summoned me later than afternoon. I joined him on the balcony. This time there was an empty chair beside him. He motioned for me to sit. "You handle Ellaria well."

"She doesn't mean the things she says."

"Are you sure about that?"

"I know what it's like to lose someone you love. It causes you to do things you would not do under normal circumstances."

"So you believe she is harmless?" He asked. "That this is only a passing phase."

"Passing? Probably. Harmless? No." I shrugged. "But she deserves a second chance. That's what you wanted to ask me, isn't it?"

He nodded. "You toasted King Tommen today."

"As did you."

"Trystane will be an important asset for us at court."

"So you weren't just trying to keep our lovebirds together?"

He smiled and shook his head. "I will give Ellaria a second chance, I hope she doesn't let us down."

"You're organizing everything for me. You brought me into your home, you take my advice..." I trailed off. "What is it that you hope to gain from placing me on the Iron Throne?"

"I want a better world for my people, and I can see in you the leader that will bring about that world."

"Does this have anything to do with your sister?" I asked.

"It is no secret my brother wanted justice for Elia's death, as do I. However our means differ greatly. We have known of the Targaryen presence in the east for some time."

"Were you going to back Daenerys?" I asked.

He nodded. "Until I learned of you. King Aerys' first born daughter, the true heir to the Seven Kingdoms. I have spent years planning for this, Princess. You only need to trust in me as much as I do you."

"Would you like to be my Hand?" I asked him. "As Ser Aylward likes to point out, my small council is very, well, small."

He smiled. "It would be my honor." I had a feeling Doran had figured this into his plan, but yet I didn't feel manipulated by him. I appreciated that he didn't want to force me into anything. He wanted me to choose my own path, but he would help me clear the trail.

* * *

I knocked lightly on the wall outside of Jaime's room. He turned to look back at me. "Come in, I was just finishing a letter."

I walked over to him and looked over his shoulder. He moved his gold hand to cover the page. I could still see the bottom lines, it looked like something a child had written. "Stop being ashamed of something you aren't at fault for." I knelt down next to the desk and took the quill from his hand.

"What are you doing?"

"Writing your letter. Are you going to give me clean sheet?" I asked. He moved the sloppily written page and handed me a blank one. "Shall I just make it up, or are you going to tell me what to write?"

"Oh," he cleared his throat and then dictated the letter to me. When I was done I handed it back to him.

"There, that was quicker."

"Thank you," he said.

"I just needed to hurry you along. We don't have much time to tour the Gardens before you leave."

"Not just for the letter, for treating me like I'm the same person I've always been."

"You are." I smiled. "You haven't had many friends before, have you?"

"I suppose I haven't."

"Well, you have me now." I stood up and pulled him up from his seat. "Now, if we hurry I can show you my favorite pavilion. Myrcella showed it to me, it's absolutely breathtaking."

He laughed. "Lead the way."

* * *

Aylward and I joined Doran and the Sand Snakes at the pier to say our goodbyes. Myrcella hugged me. "I'll see you again, won't I?" She asked.

"I hope so," I said honestly. "I'm glad I got to know you, Princess."

She hugged me again. "I promise my mother won't know about you. I would never betray a friend." I kissed her on the cheek.

Then I stepped past her toward Trystane. "King's Landing is a dangerous place."

"I know, Princess," he told me. "I will look out for Myrcella, and I will do what I can for you."

I nodded. "Thank you." Then I turned to Jaime. "Are you sure you don't want to stay?"

"I'd love to, it smells like shit in Kings Landing." I laughed. "But I can't."

I grabbed his hands. "Stop letting her walk all over you. She's not the only lion."

He squeezed my hand. "You can be happy without him."

I smiled sadly. "I hope this isn't the last I've seen of you, Jaime Lannister."

"As do I, little queen."

I turned to see Ellaria kiss Myrcella. Then Myrcella joined Trystane and Jaime, they helped her into the boat. After sharing some words with Ellaria's oldest, Bronn hurried after them.

We waved them goodbye and then I turned back to the Gardens. Aylward accompanied me to my room. "If you have something to say, speak your mind."

"Jaime Lannister," he said plainly.

"Is my friend," I finished. Aylward gave me a look. "Oh, please. Don't make this anymore than it is. We get on well, I trust him."

"I can't for the life of me fathom why."

"I understand him. He's helped me even when it didn't benefit him. We aren't afraid to say the things the other needs to hear. We've never been anything but honest with each other. In a world such as this, finding a person you can truly speak your mind to is rare."

"You know you can tell me anything."

"No, I can't. I'm your Queen. You have a certain image of me, standards that I have to uphold. Jaime only sees me for me. Not the daughter of the Mad King, or the widowed Queen In The North. It's refreshing."

"There's no future there."

"I don't expect there to be one. Everyone is so quick to lump women into a category: virgins, mothers, or whores. Why is it a man can sleep with as many women as he likes, and no asks if he's fallen in love with them all? Jaime will hopefully be a friend of mine for years to come. But, I haven't suddenly lost my head because I had sex with him. It happened, it was fun. That's all."

He nodded. "Yes, your grace."

"On your way out, have a servant bring me something to eat." I shooed him away, more than a little offended by his assumptions. I returned to my desk and opened my journal. The black ribbon bookmark fell out, but I didn't pick it up immediately. I began writing.

* * *

Time passed uneventfully. I explored the gardens on my own. But I found it wasn't quite as interesting without Myrcella to keep me company. Kaeshai's words bounced around in my head. I'd been momentarily distracted what with my meeting with Jon, and Jaime's sudden arrival. Now all I could think about were those dragonglass candles.

One day while on a walk, an idea hit me. I couldn't believe it hadn't occurred to me sooner. I went to meet with Doran immediately. I found him in his usual spot, overlooking the gardens. "Amina, my dear, what can I do for you today?"

"I was wondering, what happened to Elia and Rhaegar's belongings after Robert's Rebellion?" I asked. "I know they lived in Dragonstone, but that went to Stannis after the coup."

"Some of Rhaegar's things were burned," he remembered. "But Stannis was courteous enough to much of Elia's belongings back to Sunspear. It was only right given what she endured. Why do you ask?"

"Is there any way I could look through them?" I asked. "I don't mean to be invasive, however I barely know anything about my brother."

Doran nodded. "You want to see where you came from, I understand. I'll have word sent ahead for them to open Elia's old apartments for you. You are free to take any horse from the stable for your trip."

"Thank you," I told him.

He waved me away. "It is no trouble."

"Not just for this, for everything. I never imagined that I would have someone such as yourself championing my claim to the throne."

"I would be a fool not to."

* * *

Aylward accompanied me on the two-hour ride to Sunspear. He had mostly kept out of my way recently, but when I'd gone to the stables he was waiting. "Why the sudden interest in your brother?" Aylward asked after we had left the Water Gardens behind us. "You've never asked about him before."

"Whom was I supposed to ask?" I countered. "But your assumption is correct. This isn't a sentimental visit, I'm looking for something."

"Are you going to tell me what that something is?" He asked.

I shrugged. "If I find it." I picked up speed, leaving Aylward behind me.

For the rest of the ride we were silent. When we reached the Threefold Gates that guarded the Old Palace, we were welcomed by the maester. He led us into the palace and up to the quarters Elia had once lived in before her marriage. It seemed that no one had ever taken the time to look through all her things from Dragonstone. Crates and chests littered the room.

"Are you sure you don't want to tell me what we're looking for?" Aylward asked. "We may be here for a while."

"Just start looking," I told him. "Tell me if you find anything interesting."

We spent hours searching through boxes of old letters and jewelry. I felt like an intruder as I looked through Elia's things. I felt as if she were still alive in these boxes, little pieces of her soul had been left in her belongings. She kept notebooks, just as I did. I discovered a notebook that must've been from when she was just a girl. She didn't write as often as me. But this entry was an incredibly detailed account of the first time she'd met Rhaegar.

"Rhaenyra," Aylward said, interrupting my reading.

"Her daughter's name was Rhaenys," I corrected.

"Not Elia's daughter," Aylward said. He walked over to me. He was holding a tiny scroll, the sort a raven would deliver. "It's an announcement from Dragonstone to King's Landing."

I took it from his hands. "Rhaella Targaryen has given birth to twin girls, Rhaenyra and Daenerys." I looked up at him. "My name is Rhaenyra."

"Named after the Half Year Queen, I suppose."

"A queen who caused a civil war and had her title stripped away from her," I mused. "What a lovely namesake, full of good omens for my future."

"Her brother didn't live long after having her killed, if I recall correctly." I nodded. "The Caswells sided with the Blacks during the Dance of the Dragons."

"I believe the Starks and the Tullys also chose Rhaenyra over her brother. Oddly enough this seems familiar."

"Perhaps it's up to you to avenge your namesake."

I gave him a small smile. "Perhaps." I started to turn away and then turned back. "Don't tell anyone that we know my real name. I'd rather be Amina Targaryen, first of her name." Aylward laughed at that.

I resumed my searching and came across another notebook. However, this one was in a different handwriting. After reading a few pages, I realized it had to have been Rhaegar's. I sat down on the floor and skimmed the pages. "My brother was infatuated with a woman," I murmured. "But not Elia."

"Lyanna Stark," Aylward filled in. "There were rumors of a love affair between the two. When he won the Tourney of Harrenhal he crowned Lyanna queen of love and beauty instead of Elia."

"And then he abducted her and held her hostage in a tower," I finished.

"Some say she went willingly," he noted.

I went back to browsing through the chests. "Ned hardly talked about his sister. The only time he mentioned her was when I was sparring with the boys. He'd shake his head and say he'd accidentally raised a little Lyanna. Then when Arya was born he'd joke that Winterfell had hardly been big enough for one Lyanna, let alone two. Apparently she was quite the fighter, and she loved showing her brothers up." I smiled remembering all the competitions I'd challenged Robb, Theon, and Jon to. I'd won a fair amount of them. "Maester Luwin told us Lyanna was very opinionated, and she always stuck up for those she loved."

Aylward laughed. "She does sound like you."

"Maybe she was in love with someone she shouldn't have been as well," I mused. "From what I know of her, I cannot imagine she would have been thrilled to marry Robert. Maybe she did run away with Rhaegar." Aylward nodded, and I suddenly remembered what Ser Barristan had told me. "But that would mean your brothers died rescuing a girl who did not need saving."

For a moment he looked surprised, then he shook his head. "My brothers wanted to be heroes. If they had followed their orders and waited for Eddard to arrive, they would have survived. Instead their paths crossed with Rhaegar's, and they were no match for him."

"I'm sorry for what happened to them. Were you very close?"

He shook his head. "I was young when they went to war. I was always closer with my younger brother, until..." He trailed off. "I know a thing or two about falling in love with someone you shouldn't."

This was the most Aylward had ever told me about his life before joining Renly's Kingsguard. "Who was she?" I asked gently.

"Her name was Wylla. She was a bastard, but her father was a nobleman and his family raised her. My family never approved of the match. After my elder brothers were killed in the war, I was next in line to be Lord Caswell. But I gave up my title to marry Wylla."

"What happened to her?"

"She died of redspots." He shook his head. "I was away visiting Renly when she took ill, I barely made it back to her side in time to say goodbye."

"Oh, Aylward, I'm so sorry."

"It was a long time ago." He shook his head. "I haven't seen my younger brother in years. Renly invited me to stay in Storm's End. He and Loras became like brothers to me."

As I was about to respond, I opened another chest. My words died on my lips. Wrapped in a piece of fabric was a pillar of dragonglass. I grabbed it and a sudden bright light blinded me. I let out a squeak and dropped the candle.

"Seven Hells!" Aylward cursed. "What was that?"

I slowly reached toward the candle and picked it up. As soon as my fingers were on it, the flame lit once more. "I found it!"

Aylward was squinting due to the light. I quickly sat the candle down on top of another chest. "What is it?" He asked.

"A dragonglass candle," I explained. "The night I saw Jon, the witch that helped me with blood magic told me about these. Supposedly Valyrians used them to communicate over long distances, among other things."

"You want to use them to find your sisters."

I nodded. "And Bran and Rickon if they're still alive."

"Promise me that will be all," he said suddenly. "At least until you're sure you know what you're doing."

"Why?" I asked.

"The less people who know what you're capable of, the better. It's safer that way. Promise me."

I nodded finally. "I promise."


	23. Broken Crown

_"[but in this twilight, our choices seal our fate](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXzDu071RdQ)"_

The Water Gardens were eerily quite when we returned. I had always found them peaceful, but now they felt deserted. Aylward walked me to my chambers. As soon as I walked in the room, I knew something was wrong. I reached for one of the knives on my belt.

"Drop it," a lilting voice said in my ear. I couldn't see her face. But, I recognized Tyene Sand from her voice, as much as from the knife she had pressed against my throat. I let go of my knife, and held my hands up.

I glanced out the corner of my eye to see that Ellaria had Aylward in a similar position. It was almost humorous how she had him bent backwards because he was so much taller than her. I considered my options. I could take Tyene in a fight, but the Sand Snakes were known to coat their blades in poison. I wasn't sure I could fight her without getting a single scratch.

"What do you want, Ellaria?" I asked finally. "You think Doran is going to give you another chance after you threaten his guest?"

"Doran is dead," Tyene spat. "We've taken Dorne."

"Does the rest of Dorne agree with that?" I asked. "Because last I checked, most of them were preparing to rebel against the Crown behind me."

"They still can," Ellaria said. "Oberyn liked you, Amina. As do I."

"You have a strange way of showing your affection, Ellaria."

"Let her go, Tyene." Her daughter reluctantly let me go. I wiped her spit from my ear. Ellaria slowly let Aylward go. His hand went to his sword.

"Stand down, Aylward," I told him. "I assume you have a proposal for me?"

"Support our coup, and Dorne will continue funding your war." She shrugged. "Simple, really."

"Why should I back you?" I asked her. "Trystane is the rightful Prince. You have no claim."

"Trystane is no longer a part of the equation," Ellaria said.

"Nym and Obara saw to that," Tyene added.

"And Myrcella?" I asked.

"She paid for her family's crimes," Ellaria said. "She sent a message to the Lannisters."

"Myrcella was just a girl," Aylward said. "She had done nothing wrong."

"Perhaps not, but the Lannisters left us no choice. Blood must be paid for in blood." She looked to me. "I will leave you to consider my offer. If you choose to decline, you may leave Dorne unharmed. But know that you will never again have an ally in House Martell."

Ellaria and Tyene left my chambers. I sat down, too shocked to say anything for a moment. "We should leave before nightfall," Aylward said.

"We can't leave," I told him.

"Your grace, I highly recommend-"

"I'm not asking for recommendations," I told him. "She's right. We need the Dornish alliance, without them I have nothing." He started to speak and I cut him off again. "Myrcella was a ray of sunshine, she did not deserve to die like this. Jaime must be heartbroken. I detest what Ellaria has done, but sometimes you must compromise your values for safety."

"The Lannisters will send troops, they will not let this go unpunished."

"War is what Doran was preparing for," I reminded him. "Even if this wasn't the way he wanted to start it." I tilted my head. "Perhaps we have the advantage. The Crown has no way of knowing Dorne is prepared for war. Nor do they know there is a Queen hidden in their midst."

"Jaime knows."

"Jaime sent me here for this very reason. He would never turn me in."

"How can you be so sure? Ellaria killed his daughter. You cannot know what he's thinking now." My eyes went to the case Aylward had sat on my bed, just moments before we'd been ambushed. He followed my gaze. "Absolutely not. You promised you would only use it to reach your family."

"I can visit at night, pretend I'm just a dream," I suggested.

"Amina, do you realize how dangerous that is? You don't even know how it works."

"Then I will learn." I shook my head. "We will maintain the Dornish alliance. Everything we've done these past years has lead to this. We've come to far."

* * *

I sat at my desk, the dragonglass candle before me. I reached out and touched it with two fingers. The white light lit up my chambers just as brightly as if I was holding it in my palm. "Take me to Sansa," I said simply. Nothing happened. "Show me Sansa Stark." Still nothing.

I removed my fingers and took a deep breath. Then I grabbed the candle again and leaned close to the flame. This time instead of thinking her name out loud, I thought about her, as Kaeshai had made me do when I visited Jon. I remembered chasing her around Winterfell. And our horrid sewing lessons that I'd never been good at. Sansa had always been great at sewing. She never let me forget she was better at it than me.

"Amina?" A quiet voice asked. I blinked a few times, seeing spots from the blinding candle I'd just been looking into. After a moment Sansa came into focus. She looked tired, her hair was messy, her dress dirty. But it was my sister. I ran through the snow toward her. I pulled her into my arms and held her tightly for a long moment.

"Thank the Gods you're alive," I whispered. "I was so afraid. After Joffery was poisoned I tried to find you. There were so many rumors, I didn't know what to believe."

"Littlefinger helped me escape," she said. "He had me marry Ramsay Bolton. He took me back into the ruins of our home." I looked at her. She was trying so hard to keep herself together. But I could see the tears brimming in her eyes.

"I wish that I could've helped you," I told her. "I should have been with you."

"There was nothing you could've done," she said calmly. "Knowing you were out there, alive, gave me hope. If you were fighting, then I could too."

"I can't imagine the things he put you through," I said. "That man is a monster. If only I had done something. I knew the Boltons were rotten from the start. Maybe things would be different, maybe Robb would still be alive."

"We can't change the past, we can only shape the future." Sansa was so far from the girl I had once known. She had endured so much, but all that had only made her stronger. I hugged her again, so tightly I wasn't sure I'd ever let her go. But then over her shoulder I saw someone I never thought I would see again.

"Theon?" I whispered. I slowly let go of Sansa, and walked toward him. His hair was longer than the last time I saw him, his skin was so pale it was almost translucent. He looked down as soon as we made eye contact. I looked at his hands, they were shaking, but I didn't think it was from the cold.

I reached toward him, but stopped with my hand just inches from his face. He reached for it, and pressed it to his cheek. "I let this happen to you," I said quietly. My lip trembled. I could feel tears in my eyes. He shook his head. I nodded furiously. "I could have stopped him. I could have taken you back to Robb. I could have just killed you when we said our goodbyes. I never wanted-" He cut me off by pulling me into a bone crushing hug. He seemed too frail to be holding on so tightly, but somehow he still had the strength. I wrapped my arms around his neck and cried into his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered. "I'm so, so sorry."

"I betrayed you, and Robb. I will live with that regret for the rest of my life." Slowly he let me go. "Your baby...?"

I shook my head. "We could've run away." I smiled sadly. I reached up and wiped my eyes. "Where are you going?"

"North, to Jon at the Wall," Sansa told me. "Brienne is with us, she just went to hunt." I remembered my last meeting with Jon. Suddenly the snowy woods around me blurred. The blinding light from the dragonglass candle made it hard to see. I rubbed at my eyes.

When I opened them I was inside, it was very warm. I turned to see that I was standing in front of a fire. A woman sat in front of me. She looked up at me, but didn't appear surprised that I was there. She squinted her eyes. From her point of view I was probably no more than a silhouette with the fire behind me. "No more," she said tiredly. "I will have no more false visions."

The fire illuminated her features. Her hair was a dark red, and her dress was a similar color. I'd never seen her in my life. I had no idea how I'd gotten here. Perhaps Aylward was right, using the candle was dangerous.

The woman sighed. "Too many times I have been deceived by the faces in the fire. Not again." She stood up from her chair and stepped toward me. Recognition dawned on her. "And to send his lover as a messenger. This is too cruel, even for you." I had no idea what she was speaking about. "Where is the prophecy, the command?"

"You know me?" I asked.

"Of course, you wear the face of a dragonrider, a Queen. Or at least, one to be." I realized she must have me confused with Daenerys. My hair was so light now. In the darkness of the room it would have been hard to tell us apart. "I have seen your face in the fire, an enemy to the man I once called king. Maybe not an enemy after all."

"You were Stannis's Red Priestess," I realized, finally connecting the dots. "The one who led to his downfall." She nodded. She looked weary, as if she had lived a hundred years and had seen too much. "We cannot change the past, we can only shape the future."

She was quiet for a moment as she looked at me. "Why are you here?"

"For Jon," I answered, realizing it must be true. After the light had faded, I realized this must be Castle Black. She nodded and headed toward the door. I followed her up a set of stairs. The Priestess knocked on the door at the top. A man opened it, and looked at her. He didn't appear to notice me standing in the shadows.

"Have you changed your mind?" He asked her. She nodded once. The man opened the door father to let her in. When I saw into the room, my blood ran cold. Lying on a table, covered in a sheet pulled up to his chin, was Jon. My Jon.

I covered my mouth with my hands. I was shaking. The man walked into the room, toward Jon's lifeless body. The Priestess turned toward me. "Be safe, princess, for the night is dark and full of terrors."

The blinding light of the dragonglass candle consumed me. It felt as if I was wrapped in the light. Then slowly I gained control of my fingers, and I let go. The light ceased to exist. The candle sat on the table, a pillar of stone, as if it had never been lit at all.

Aylward cleared his throat, making me jump. I turned toward him slowly. "Are you alright? Did you visit your sister?" I nodded. "Good. I'm glad to know she's alive."

"Jon is dead," I said abruptly.

"Amina-"

"I'm fine," I said, before he could ask. "I asked him to leave with me, and he chose to stay."

"I know how it feels to loose your true love," he said quietly. "Wylla died in my arms. I lit the pyre that burned her body. It takes time."

"I don't have time," I told him. "I cannot afford to waste another moment crying over the things I have lost. I will not die for a dead man."


	24. Devil Inside

_"[words as weapons, sharper than knives](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFRhfmFhBUA)_   
_[makes you wonder how the other half died](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFRhfmFhBUA)"_

For weeks I met with Dornish lords. It was now on my shoulders to secure my own alliances. Beyond that, the lords were concerned about Ellaria's leadership. It fell on me to reassure them that nothing had changed. In reality, everything had changed. But it was not my place to save House Martell.

My hair was almost entirely silver now, my new handmaidens saw to that. No lords questioned me about my lineage. I assume Doran must have told them already. I knew rumors would spread, but that was my hope. It was time I made my claim. I had waited years for this.

On a rare day of relaxation, I removed my dragonglass candle from its case. I had hardly used it since seeing Jon's body. But I needed to understand how it worked. It could be a huge advantage for me going forward. I had learned how to speak to others through it, but my research had shown it had more uses. It could peer into the minds of others, and also allow you to simply see over large distances.

I felt a bit uncomfortable with looking into a person's mind. I was not sure I was ready to invade someone's privacy like that without good cause. However I was not above spying. So I took the day to practice viewing others through the flame.

First I checked on others in the Water Garden. Aylward was with a pretty Dornish girl, drinking wine. I wasn't sure if I'd ever seen him smile quite this much. Feeling like an intruder, I left quickly. Next I checked on Ellaria, she was with the Sand Snakes, watching as her daughter sparred with the other two.

As I watched them, Daenerys came to mind. It had been nearly two years since I'd spoken to my sister. I had heard rumors about the dragon queen and her loose hold on her city. There had been riots, maybe even a civil war. The Westerosi nobility were discrediting her ability to lead. I had to admit, I agreed with them. Three dragons did not a Queen make.

The blinding dragonglass light took me to another scene. When the light faded, I was outside at night. The city was unfamiliar to me. It almost looked like a large campsite. Directly in front of me, the largest building was in flames. Thousands surrounded it, screaming and shouting. Then as the building began to collapse in on itself, my sister stepped from the flames. Her clothing had been burned away, but she was unharmed.

She had told me of the time she hatched her dragon eggs in her husband's funeral pyre. It had seemed impossible, but now here she was once again, the unburnt.

I let go of the candle and blinked the spots out of my vision. Aylward was standing next to me. "Ellaria gave me this, it's for you." I took the message and began to unroll it.

"Will you hand me the candle by my bed?" I asked him instead. He gave me a curious look, but brought it to me anyway. I sat down the message for a moment, and took the candle. I bit my lip and then held the flame to my wrist.

"Your grace-"

"Shh." I stared intently at the flame for a moment. I felt no pain. I held it closer, staring at it, willing it to burn my skin. Aylward finally pulled the candle from my hand. I turned my wrist over so he could see. It wasn't even red. Maybe the Red Priestess hadn't seen my sister in her flames after all.

I reached for the message and unrolled it. "Brynden has taken Riverrun back from the Freys. This is great news. He will back my claim. I am sure the Riverlands will rally behind him. No one likes the Freys, but everyone respects Brynden."

Aylward was still staring at my wrist. I snapped my fingers at him. "We ride for Riverrun in three days."

"What about Ellaria?" He asked.

I waved dismissively. "I have done all I can for her, and I have accomplished what I came here to do. I must ride north and help Brynden take back the Riverlands. I need his men, and he will need help fighting off the Freys."

* * *

"You're leaving Dorne?" Ellaria asked, coming into the sunroom where I was holding court.

I nodded. "I have done all I can do here. Now I must move forward for the next phase."

"Good. You are an expensive guest." She smiled. "Oberyn knew these men well," she said looking around the room. "I know who has the best fighters. I will have them sent after you."

"I cannot ask these lords to help take back the Riverlands."

"You will not ask them. You will demand it." She tilted her head. "Or, I will demand it for you. These lords are sworn to serve you and support your claim to the Iron Throne. If you say you need the Riverlands to secure the throne, it is their business to see you have the Riverlands. Many will volunteer, it is an honor to serve on the Queensguard."

For a moment I considered how different things would have been if Oberyn hadn't died. Perhaps things between Ellaria and I would have never become so tense. She was smart. She would have made a great friend. I nodded at her. "Thank you."

"No need to thank me. You are an investment."

* * *

I returned to my chambers and packed my things. I reached for the candle, remembering the last thing I'd seen. Stannis' Red Priestess had said I had been a dragon rider. She'd seen it in her flames. Though, she'd also seen Stannis fulfill a prophecy, and that had ended badly for him.

But, I remembered my sister's dragons. From the very moment I'd laid eyes on them, I'd felt a connection. They may be my sister's children, but a dragonrider only rode one dragon. Drogon had always been Daenerys' favorite, while Rhaegal had been mine. It had been ages since I'd seen them. I glanced at the candle. Aylward and I were to be leaving soon, but a few moments longer couldn't hurt anything.

I sat down, grabbed the candle, and thought about Missandei. She would know where to find the dragons. The sound of something falling caused me to open my eyes. I was in the great pyramid's meeting room. Missandei was sitting next to Grey Worm. Neither of them had dropped anything. They both looked at me calmly, they'd seen me appear before. I turned slowly, looking for the noise. Tyrion Lannister stood looking down at a glass of wine, which was shattered on the ground.

I looked down at the hem of my dress, which had caught some of the wine. "That's going to stain."

"Amina Stark," Tyrion said surprised. "How did you-"

"Magic. How did you get here?"

"A ship. Much less comfortable, I assume." He looked me over. "The moment I laid eyes on your sister, I recognized her. I never forget a face. But no one warned me you might turn up...unannounced."

"She only comes when Daenerys is near by, unless..." Missandei trailed off.

I smiled. "I found one." She smiled back. While she would always be my sister's advisor, it was comforting to know she was also my friend. "I've seen Daenerys, you shouldn't worry."

"You spoke to her?" Grey Worm asked.

I shook my head. "Not yet, but she is fine. Much more than fine, actually. I'm sure she will be back to you soon."

"Then why have you come?"

I took a deep breath. "To see the dragons."

"Daenerys would not approve," Missandei said quickly.

"She used to call them _our_ dragons, if you'll recall." She pressed her lips together. "I can find them myself, I only came here as a courtesy."

"Viserion and Rhaegal are in the crypt under the pyramid," she told me finally.

"And Drogon?" I asked.

"Last seen carrying Daenerys away from a massacre in the fighting pits," Tyrion said. "I've seen the dragons, they're quite displeased to be kept in such a small place. I understand their predicament."

"Why are they locked away?" I questioned. "That doesn't sound like something my sister would do willingly."

"She had no choice, they were terrorizing the people," Missandei explained. "It was that or lose the city."

"I have heard the stories from traders in Sunspear. It sounds as if she would have done a better job of keeping the city with the dragons by her side." Missandei did not argue. I turned to Tyrion. "Take me to them."

He nodded. "Missandei, have someone send for a chicken or two. They're going to be hungry."

The two of us headed down the obscenely long stairs toward the crypt. For a while we walked in silence. "Your sister – Sansa, I mean – have you heard from her since-"

"She's alive."

"Good, that's very good. And well?"

"Debatable." I narrowed my eyes. "You married her."

"I had very little choice in the matter," he reminded me. "I treated her with the upmost respect, I promise you." My face softened a bit. "She is lucky to have a sister like you. You care about her. The same could not be said for mine about me."

"Your brother loved you," I said without thinking.

"I'm afraid I pissed that away too." For a moment he was quiet. Then he smiled slyly. "Desmera Redwyne, that was a clever disguise. Even more clever that you hid right under my sister's nose."

I smirked. "It was rather clever, wasn't it? My knight was terribly concerned about the whole ordeal. And Margaery, Gods, I thought she was going to explode when she found out." He laughed. "Your brother is a good man."

"Most don't hold that opinion of him."

"I'm not most."

He shook his head. "No, I suppose you aren't." A girl rushed up and presented Tyrion with a bag, and then she curtseyed and hurried off. "Ah, two chickens. Perfect." We had reached the crypt door. It was guarded by two Unsullied soldiers. He nodded for them to open it, then handed me the bag. One of the guards presented me with a torch. "Good luck."

I headed down into the crypt, holding the torch in front of me. "Rhaegal? Viserion?" I called. There was a quiet screech from deeper in the crypt. I sat the bag down and pulled out the chickens. "I brought a treat." The two dragons appeared slowly from the darkness, their chains dragging along with them. I knew I was just out of reach, safe, but I stepped closer. I wasn't afraid, I had watched them grow up. I tossed one of the birds to Viserion, who caught it in his mouth. Rhaegal came toward me, I held out the second bird and he took it from my hand.

I waited a moment for them to finish chewing, and then reached out toward Rhaegal. "You should not be in this cage, it's criminal." The green and bronze dragon moved toward me. I pressed my palm against his scaly head. He was my dragon. He'd always been mine. "I'll come back for you, I promise."


	25. Woman King

_"[hundred years, hundred more](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8obrc0eA6gk)_   
[ _someday we may see a_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8obrc0eA6gk)   
[ _woman king, sword in hand_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8obrc0eA6gk)   
_[swing at some evil and bleed](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8obrc0eA6gk)"_

House Yronwood had offered me a carriage and horses for travel to Riverrun. I declined the carriage, but took the horses. We would be able to move quicker and draw less attention this way. Ellaria had come through on her promise to send fighters with me. Aylward and I rode a few days ahead of them, so we could explain their presence to Brynden.

After a long hard journey we finally made it to the Riverlands. I hadn’t realized how accustomed I had become to the Dornish climate, until we started heading north. My Dornish wardrobe had been discarded in favor of warmer dresses and coats.

We stopped to observe Riverrun from a distance. The last time I’d been here was Hoster’s funeral. That seemed like a different time. “Frey men around the perimeter,” Aylward noted.

“Can you get me inside?” I asked him.

He gave me a look. “I believe a giant could slip past this sorry excuse for a siege. But we’ll have to leave the horses.” We both dismounted and gathered our things. He opened my bag and pulled out the dragonglass candle. He touched it gingerly as if it might explode at any moment. “Tell the Blackfish we’re here. We’ll need him to lower the gate.”

I pulled my sleeve down to grab the candle without lighting it. I walked over to a tree and sat down. I pulled my coat around the candle so the light wouldn’t draw attention to us. Then I touched it. “Do it fast,” Aylward warned. “Your coat is glowing.”

I nodded and quickly began to think about Brynden. The blinding light I’d grown used to engulfed me, and then I was inside the castle. “Seven Hells! Amina, is that you?” I grinned. Brynden pulled me into a hug. “How’d you get in here?”

“Well, I didn’t, not exactly,” I told him. “I’ll explain it all in a moment. I need you to let down the gate so I can get inside.”

“Frey men have the castle surrounded,” he grunted. “As best they can at least.” He thought for a moment. “Come around the south side. The majority of their forces are around the north gate. I’ll have my men cause a ruckus and get everyone’s attention. Then we’ll lower the south gate and bring you in.”

“Perfect, see you soon.”

I let go of the candle and stood up. I handed it back to Aylward. He packed it. “South gate,” I told him. The two of us headed that direction. His hand hovered over his sword. I clutched one of my knives.

I heard shouting from the north side, and knew Brynden’s plan was working. As we neared the south gate, I saw a few Frey men remaining. Most of them looked rather distracted as they looked in the direction of the noise. A few began heading toward the ruckus. Aylward put a hand on my back and guided me closer. We made our way around a few men, ducking behind trebuchets and small tents.

Two men stood just in front of the gate. One looked half asleep, the other only slightly more awake. “I’ve got this,” I told Aylward. I removed a second knife and stood up. One of the men noticed me, but before he could say anything I flung the knives one after the other.

The first man fell right into the moat. The second collapsed on the ground. Aylward and I ran over. I stared down into the water. “Damn, I liked that knife.” I pulled the other knife out of the Frey soldier’s body and wiped it on my sleeve. I gave the body a kick and it splashed into the moat with the other. “Brynden!” I called. The gate lowered quickly.

I heard shouting behind me. Aylward and I ran across as soon as the gate was down. An arrow flew just over my shoulder. “Close ‘em up!” Brynden shouted. His men raised the gate just as fast. I heard a few more arrows hit the gate, but we’d made it.

During the sprint, the hood of my coat had fallen back, exposing my silver hair. Everyone stared. Brynden just nodded. “Catelyn never told me, but I guess some part of me knew.”

“I came to help,” I told him.

He looked his men over, and then looked back to me. “This lot could use a Queen to fight for.”

* * *

That night Brynden gathered his men in the great hall. I had changed into a clean dress, and tied my hair back. But I didn’t hide it. I addressed the hall. “Some of you may know me as Amina Stark, Queen in the North. Some of you fought for my husband. I ask you now to fight for me, with me. House Frey has betrayed your brothers. But the Riverlands do not answer to House Frey.” There was a cheer at that. “Together we can take back the Riverlands!”

Once the second round of cheers died down, a man stepped forward. I recognized him, but I didn’t know his name. “You’re a Targaryen, you’ve lied to your people. People who supported you as Queen in the North.”

I nodded. “Yes, it’s true. I am the blood of the Mad King.” There were murmurs. “But I was raised by Eddard Stark, and I will always be his daughter. He taught me honor and sacrifice. Catelyn taught me the importance of family and duty. It is because of that I know that I must take my birthright. It is my duty to sit on the Iron Throne. For years we have bowed to false kings, and they have torn the Seven Kingdoms apart. Today it is time to say no more.” There were a handful of enthusiastic cheers, but some still looked unconvinced.

Brynden stood up. “Listen here, you shits. I have known this woman over two decades. I saw her as a stubborn little girl, learning how to fight because she was not going to let the boys be better than her. I’ve been her strategize, and she’s smart. She has charisma that can capture the hearts of a thousand men. And she is still stubborn as hell. If she says she is going to take the Iron Throne, you better believe that she will. It’s time we join the winning side.” He nodded. “Now let’s show the fucking Freys who they’re messing with!”

I smiled at Brynden as the men cheered. “I think that is the most these men have ever heard you say.” He grunted in response and I laughed. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me yet. We’re under siege, this is the last real meal you’re getting for a while.”

* * *

The first few weeks of the siege were uneventful. I received a raven from the Dornish men. They were outside the gates awaiting my command. I replied that they should find a safe place where the Frey soldiers wouldn’t find them. Not that I was particularly worried about the Freys. They weren’t even vigilant enough to shoot down a couple of ravens flying in and out.

Things did not begin to get interesting until the Freys brought Edmure from the Twins. “Edmure is a shit,” Brynden said with a sigh. I nodded in agreement. “You did good, sending him off. Wish it would’ve worked out better.”

“Has Roslin had a child yet?” I asked. He nodded. “Something tells me they won’t kill him just yet. Their place in the Riverlands is precarious at best. They need him.”

“I’m going up to the walk, stay here.”

“I haven’t seen the outside of the keep in weeks,” I protested.

“The Freys want you dead, can’t risk you being out in the open. One of our sentinels spotted the Lannister army coming across the hill too. They should be arriving soon.”

I sighed. “Fine, I’ll just go roam the halls again.”

“Read a book or something, do some target practice in the courtyard.” He shrugged. “Whatever it is young women do these days.” Brynden left me alone in the great hall.

After he had been gone for a few moments, I headed to one of the parapets. I waved one of the archers out of my way, so I could peer through the arrowslit. Even from this distance I recognized Lothar Frey, and Black Walder. I would never forget them. They had led my family into a slaughter.

Black Walder held a knife to Edmure’s throat. “Yield the castle or I cut his throat!” He yelled. I pressed my face into the tiny window, but it was as if I were wearing blinders. I could only see straight ahead.

“Go on then, cut his throat!” Brynden called back. I watched as Black Walder reluctantly let go of Edmure. I had been right. They didn’t want to kill him. I waited for a moment. I could hear the archer behind me growing impatient. Finally Jaime and Bronn came into view.

I couldn’t hear their conversation, but I saw Jaime smack Black Walder across the face. I smirked and stepped away from the window. “As you were, soldier.”

* * *

By that afternoon, we had received word that Jaime wished to have a parley with Brynden. They set the time for the following day. “It’s time I show my face,” I told Brynden.

“Show your hair more like,” he grunted.

“Either way, I need the rumors to spread. I need the smallfolk to talk, and the nobles to whisper. Rumors of my sister have swept Westeros, meanwhile I have been hiding away for my own protection.”

“You’ll be armed.”

“I always am,” I said. “But I have nothing to worry about from Jaime Lannister.” Brynden raised an eyebrow. “For one, that is not the sort of person he is. But also he’s sort of a friend.”

“You’re friends with Jaime Lannister?” He asked with disbelief.

“It’s a bit of a long story.”

He shook his head. “Fine, fine. You can come with me. But put on something queenly. Intimidate the hell out of them.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

I returned to my chambers, Aylward followed. I could tell without looking that he disapproved of my choice. “If you so much as think I am going outside just to see Jaime Lannister, I will personally throw you over the wall. I’ll let that army do with you what they will.”

“You’ll be seen,” he said simply.

“That’s the point, you heard what I said to Brynden,” I reminded him. “I’ll be armed.”

“What if someone sees your hair from a distance and decides to shoot you down on the spot? There’s no amount of weaponry that will protect you.”

“I cannot sit inside having tea and cakes for the rest of my life,” I snapped. “My sister is across the Narrow Sea, burning buildings and riding dragons. I may not have dragons, but I know how to fight. For too long I have been a pawn in someone else’s game. It is time I stop hiding and become a Queen.”

“What if you used the candle,” he suggested. “If anything goes wrong, you’ll be able to get away.”

“That is a coward’s move.”

“No one will know.”

“ _I’ll_ know.”

“Amina, please.”

“No, Aylward. Not this time. I trust Jaime, and I trust that this parley isn’t an assassination plot.” He shook his head, but he didn’t argue. “Now, which of these dresses looks most regal.”

* * *

The following day I met Brynden at the north gate. The drawbridge was lowered, revealing Jamie on the other side. He wasn’t wearing the armor of the Kingsguard. Instead he was wearing red and gold Lannister armor. Something had clearly happened since we’d last seen each other. He looked surprised to see me.

Brynden and I crossed walked toward him. I walked slow and deliberately. My navy gown had just enough train to be elegant. But the silver armor around my torso and the knife belt around my waist showed I was not to be messed with. My silver white hair was braided in a crown that encircled my head. I had never felt more like a queen. “Jaime,” I said, with a nod.

“Amina.”

“Kingslayer,” Brynden said. Jaime finally took his eyes off me.

“Blackfish.”

“I assume you’re here to fulfill the oath you swore to my niece,” Bryden said. “I don’t see Sansa or Arya.”

“I don’t have them,” Jaime answered. My mind flickered to Arya. I had seen Sansa, but I had not seen little Arya’s chubby cheeks and mischievous smile in six years. I wonder if her cheeks were still chubby? I was glad I hadn’t used the candle. With my luck, I would’ve been whisked away to her right then and ruined everything. “You know why I’m here. This castle belongs to House Frey. You are a trespasser. I am under command of King Tommen to return this castle to its rightful owner.”

“Rightful? _Please_.” I rolled my eyes.

“We do not bow to your false king,” Brynden told him. Jaime glanced at me, for a moment I saw a hint of pride, but only for a second. Brynden shook his head. “My nephew is marked for death, you might as well hang him and be done with it. It will have no effect on my residency in this castle.” Brynden walked past Jaime and looked into the distance.

“It won’t stop with Edmure,” Jamie said. “I will be forced to storm the castle, hundreds will die.”

“Hundreds of mine, thousands of yours. _If_ you can breach the walls.”

“We will breach the walls,” Jaime told him. He walked toward him. “And kill every last man inside. But if you surrender, I will spare the lives of your men. On my honor.”

“Bargaining with oathbreakers is like building on quicksand.”

Jaime looked at me for help. I just stared back at him, betraying no emotions. Jaime turned back to Brynden. “The war is over. Why sacrifice men for a lost cause.”

Brynden stepped toward him. “As long as I’m standing, as long as that girl,” he pointed a finger at me deliberately, “stands with no crown on her head, the war in not over. This is my home and she is my family. I will die for this castle and for that Queen.” Brynden’s eyes narrowed angrily as he spoke. He was not loud, but the fire in his voice was enough to make me shiver. “So you can either storm the castle, or starve us out. We have enough provisions for two years. Do you have two years, Kingslayer?”

Brynden walked past Jaime, and past me. I looked at Jaime for a moment, and then started to turn. I hadn’t come here to talk. I had come here to be seen. But as I turned away, Jaime grabbed my arm. I saw Brynden reach for his sword. Jaime withdrew his hand quickly. I held up a hand to Brynden. “Give us a moment, please.” Brynden looked displeased, but he nodded. His hand still hovered on the hilt of his sword.

I took a few steps toward Jaime. “If the Blackfish doesn’t surrender this castle, we will take it. And if you’re inside, I can’t protect you anymore.”

“I never asked for your protection,” I reminded him. "I am grateful for it. But, make no mistake. If you come for me, I will not hesitate to put a knife in your heart. You know I would do it.”

“Why did you come here?” He asked.

“Because Brynden needed my help, and because Ellaria Sand is insane. I’m so sorry about Myrcella. She deserved better.” He looked down. “I should go. It was nice seeing you again, Jaime. I wish it were under better circumstances.”

He looked up as I started to step away. “I was right, silver hair suits you, little queen.” I saw it again, the pride. Jaime would always be a Lannister, and his family would always come first. But he was still the same man who had served my mother while on Aerys’ Kingsguard. I had seen the admiration in his eyes when he talked about her. Rhaella was long gone, but for Jaime her memory lived on in me.

I gave him a sad smile as I turned back to Brynden. As soon as I was across the drawbridge the men raised it behind me. I didn’t look back. 


	26. Daniel In The Den

_"[and felled in the night](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yC_T-KdWCiI)_  
[ _by the ones you think you love_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yC_T-KdWCiI)  
_[they will come for you](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yC_T-KdWCiI)"_

I was on the walk overlooking the Lannister forces when a familiar figure appeared below. "Brienne of Tarth?" I called down. She looked up. "Is that really you?" I turned back to my men. "Well, what are you waiting for, lower the drawbridge!" Quickly the men did as they were told.

I hurried down the stairs to meet her inside the walls. As soon as she was inside the gate was lowered and the bridge was raised once more. "Last I heard you were with Sansa."

She nodded. "Lady Sansa made it to the Wall, she's with Jon now."

I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. I stared at her for a moment. "Jon," was all I managed.

"He's alive, your grace." She did not ask how I knew. Much like Aylward, she just accepted that there were things she would never understand. I always forgot they had once served alongside each other. "Resurrected by Lady Melisandre."

"The Red Priestess." Pieces fell into place. She had assumed I was a vision from her god. She had cursed him for showing her a dead man's lover. She did not want to resurrect Jon, or she did not think she could. But she had, maybe because she'd seen me. "And they're both well?"

"As well as they can be, given the circumstances." I nodded.

"Why have you come? Did my sister send you?"

She nodded. "Lady Sansa sent me for the Tully army. She wants to take back Winterfell."

I smiled, still dazed from the news of Jon's resurrection. "I have men who will fight for me. They will help her reclaim our home." Then I frowned. "But Brynden may take more convincing. Riverrun is his home. I do not think he'll be keen to leave. I told him I would fight with him, help him take back the Riverlands."

"Then we have our work set out for us." I nodded and motioned for her to follow me. "I did not except to see you here, your grace. When Ser Jaime told me you were inside, I hardly believed it."

"Dorne has pledged their allegiance to me in the war ahead, there was nothing left for me there. It is time I fight."

"I have sworn to protect your sister, but my allegiance is to all her family. Whether they are related by blood, or not."

"Brynden, there you are," I called ahead.

He turned, eyes narrowing when he saw Brienne. "I heard you lowered the bridge. Who's this?"

"Brienne of Tarth, Ser. I come with a letter from your niece Sansa Stark." She withdrew the paper and offered it to him.

Brynden waved it away. "How should I recognize her signature? I don't know the girl, I haven't seen her since she was a child."

I made a show of taking the letter, and inspecting the signature. "It's Sansa."

"What's it say then?" He prompted.

"Lady Sansa wishes to reclaim her home, Winterfell. However, she needs more men," Brienne explained. "If you-"

"I believe I asked the Queen, not you."

I rolled my eyes. "I am not your squire, Brynden. Read it yourself." He ignored the letter I held out.

He walked along the wall, looking over at the Lannister camp. "Double the guard tonight."

Brienne looked to me help. "I told you he was a stubborn bastard," I murmured.

"I heard that, Amina." He continued walking back into the keep. "Even if I did want to abandoned my ancestral seat, how would I do so safely? I have a duty to these men who fight beside me."

"Ser Jaime has agreed to let you and your men leave the castle. You will have safe passage North. He's given his word."

"Pfft, the word of the Kingslayer means nothing to me. And it should mean nothing to you, either."

"Riverrun cannot hold back the Lannisters and the Freys," Brienne reasoned.

"We can hold them longer than your one handed friend thinks."

"He's not my friend," Brienne said, a little too defensively.

"That golden lion-head sword and your safe passage into this castle, say otherwise."

"He gave me this sword to find and protect Sansa Stark, and to carry out the oath he swore to Catelyn Stark. That is what I have done, and what I will continue to do until the day I die." Brienne took the letter from my hand and pushed it forcefully toward Brynden.

Much to my surprise, he actually took it. As he read over Sansa's letter, his face softened. "She's exactly like her mother." He looked up at us. "I don't have enough men to help her take Winterfell."

"You have more than she does."

"I understand that she wants to take back her home. But Riverrun is my home. If Jaime Lannister wants it, he can take it the way everyone else does." He looked at me. "But, Winterfell is your home. I understand if you want to leave, my men will too."

"Be reasonable, Brynden. Think about the future," I pleaded. "We can take Winterfell and then we can come back with the forces of the North and Dorne behind us. The War of Five Kings is over, but my war has only just begun."

"I am an old man, Amina. My fight is almost over. My future is not quite so long term. I do not want to die so far from my home." He shook his head. "Take whatever men will follow you. She's right, we cannot hold Riverrun forever, a few men will not make a difference." He handed the letter back to Brienne and then walked away.

I watched him go and then turned back to her. "I should see what men I can round up. I'm sorry this didn't go as well as you hoped."

She put a hand on my shoulder. "I'm sorry as well."

* * *

Later that day Aylward brought me to the great hall. He had gathered the men who were choosing to leave with me. When he opened the doors, I saw why Brynden hadn't been worried. "This is it?" I whispered. Aylward nodded.

The man who'd questioned me when I'd addressed the Tully forces stepped forward. "Lyman Darry," he introduced himself. "My house supported the Targaryens for many years. My father was a loyalist, his uncle smuggled your brother and sister to Essos. But, I will admit, I was skeptical of you."

"You said as much before. What changed your mind?" I asked.

"My men fought for Robb Stark, and as you've said, you are truly a Stark through and through." He looked at his small cluster of men. "Plowman's Keep was taken by the Freys after the Red Wedding and given to my aunt, a Frey by marriage. I came to Riverrun to serve the Tullys as my house was sworn to do. I can't offer you an army, but you are the last hope I have of ever reclaiming my home." He knelt before me and his men followed.

"Oi, there's something happening on the bridge!" Someone shouted from the hall. "Lord Edmure's back!"

Aylward and I shared a look. "Seven Hells," he cursed. He turned to the Darry men. "I have rowboats ready for our escape. Prepare your men to leave Riverrun."

"Or prepare for a fight," I murmured. "Whichever comes first."

Aylward glanced at me and then back at them. "Move quickly." I turned and headed toward the entry, Aylward followed. "I've had your things packed and loaded out. They should be with the Dornish men by now, they're awaiting our arrival outside the walls."

"You planned all this without my knowledge? I asked for soldiers, not for an escape route."

"I am Lord Commander of your Queensguard. It is my duty to protect you, your grace, whether you wish to be protected or not."

I pushed through the doors out into the small entry courtyard. Brynden stood at the back of the crowd of Tully men. The drawbridge had lowered. Edmure walked into the castle. We locked eyes immediately. His look was steely and cold, there was no love lost between us. I supposed I deserved it, I was the reason he'd been locked away for years.

He looked away and headed for the stairs to the walk. Brynden pushed me back inside. "It's time you leave." Aylward led me down to the hidden exit. Brienne and her squire were already there.

"The Darry men have gone to join your forces outside," Brienne explained. Aylward nodded.

I grabbed Brynden's arm. "Come with us."

"I ran during the Red Wedding, I will not run again," he said.

"Then I stay and fight, I'm done hiding."

He shook his head. "This isn't your fight. You aren't hiding. You're choosing your battles." He pushed me back toward the boat. "I've seen you fight, I would hate for you to waste your talents on the Kingslayer."

"You said you'd die for me."

He looked in the direction of the staircase we'd just descended. I could hear the footsteps echoing. "And I will. Get out of here, make sure I die for a bloody good reason."

Aylward put his hands on my waist, to help me into the boat. But I pulled away to hug Brynden. "You go down fighting, promise me."

"I wouldn't have it any other way." He rubbed my back and then let me go. Aylward helped me into the boat, and climbed in after me. He and the squire rowed us away from the castle.

I willed myself not to look back, but as we made our way down the river I couldn't help myself. "I'll take it back one day," I whispered. "I promise."

On the walk I could just make out the shine of Lannister armor. Jaime raised his golden hand. Brienne held up a hand. I turned away. I had always known Jaime Lannister was a charmer, but I had still let myself pretend we could be friends. But friendships across enemy lines were how people got killed. A thousand opportunities to end him had come, and a thousand times I had walked away. I sincerely hoped the next time we met the war was over. But if it was not, I would not be able to walk away again.


	27. Battle Cry

_"[nobody can save me now](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TuugyqzqYdM)_   
[ _the king is crowned_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TuugyqzqYdM)   
_[it's do or die](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TuugyqzqYdM)"_

I looked over the balcony at the bay below. It was full of ships with sails proclaiming allegiance to something I didn’t recognize. I watched as flaming orbs were launched at the city. It wasn’t until one landed right underneath me that I realized truly what was going on. “Amina?” I turned at the voice. My sister stood in the doorway. She was dressed like the people I’d last seen her with. I had reasoned they must be Dothraki, like her late husband.

For a moment we looked at each other. I expected her to be angry, I probably would have been. Finally her lips turned up in the tiniest hint of a smile. “I was just thinking about you.”

“And I you.” I looked around. “I suppose that’s how I got here.” With the newness of the candle, I had almost forgotten the connection I shared with Daenerys. I glanced over my shoulder. “What’s going on?”

Her expression darkened suddenly. “The masters of the slave cities have come together to fight against me.” I nodded. She tilted her head. “You don’t look surprised.”

“I heard rumors,” I told her. “Also, Tyrion explained a bit the last time I was here.” She opened her mouth. “I will tell you all about that later. First, let’s save your city.”

We walked into the meeting room. Tyrion nodded at me. Daenerys looked between us with some suspicion. “Shall we begin?” She asked.

“We have a plan?” Tyrion asked, glancing at me out of the corner of his eye. I looked to my sister curiously.

“I will crucify the masters. Burn their fleets, kill every last one of their soldiers, and return their cities to the dirt.” Tyrion and I shared a look. Daenerys frowned. “You would have me do something else, sister?"

I bit my lip. “Do you know what our father planned to do to King’s Landing?” I asked. She stared at me. I glanced at Tyrion. I was keenly aware the peace I had with my sister was tentative.

“Aerys hid caches of wildfire under the city,” he said. “The Red Keep, the Sept of Baelor, everywhere.”

“He would have burned his city and everyone in it,” I continued. “Those who had betrayed him, those who were loyal, even the smallfolk who have no care who sits on the Iron Throne.”

“That is why my brother killed him,” Tyrion finished. I avoided any thoughts of Jaime and tried to keep my mind on the task at hand.

“This is entirely different,” Daenerys protested.

“You’re talking about destroying cities,” Tyrion pointed out. “This isn’t entirely different.”

Daenerys looked between us. “I suppose you have another plan then.”

“Between the two of us, I do believe we could figure something out,” he said.

“Killing the masters may be unavoidable,” I murmured.

He nodded. “One or two will have to go. We’ll need to save as many ships as possible.”

“For coming across the Narrow Sea? You’re right. The Unsullied army is rather large”

“We have a Khalasar as well.”

I scrunched up my face. “I only have a vague understanding of that word. But, I don’t believe there are enough ships out there for that.”

He waved his hand. “We can deal with that another day.” For a moment we both were quiet. Daenerys still looked at us expectantly. “Amina, you’ll go for the other dragons. We’ll need them if we’re to scare the masters into submission.”

Daenerys interrupted. “Rhaegal and Viserion have been locked away for a long time. They may not be ready for this.” She looked apologetic.

“I visited them,” I said hesitantly. “They may not be as strong as Drogon, but it’s time they were released.” She looked as if she wanted to argue, but she refrained.

“So your plan is to fly about and burn a few ships?” She asked skeptically.

“We’ll bring the masters to us,” Tyrion said. I could tell he was making this up as he went, but it almost sounded like a real strategy. “Once they’re on our ground, we have the upper hand.” He glanced at me. “You should probably prepare the dragons.”

I nodded and started toward the stairs. “Wait,” Daenerys called. She grabbed my arm. “Will you ride Rhaegal beside me?” She asked. “I know the last time we spoke, we argued about our next steps. But we’re stronger together.”

“I don’t know how to ride a dragon,” I protested half-heartedly.

“Neither did I.”

I smiled. “Okay, together.”

* * *

I was nervous. It had taken me what felt like ages to unchain the dragons. I was afraid I was going to miss the signal. But now as I waited in the dark, with only a single torch, it felt like the signal would never come.

Viserion paced as much as he could in the small space. Rhaegal stood by my side, as if he knew I would need to climb on at a moment’s notice. Finally I heard Drogon’s scream. Rhaegal extended a wing and I climbed onto his back. As I held on, I found myself laughing at the absurdity of it all. When the Red Priestess had said I would become a dragonrider, the idea had seemed so foreign. But now, here I was.

I looked toward the opening of the crypt. “Let’s go?” I tried lamely. Viserion looked at me across the room. If dragons could speak, I imagined he’d make a quip at my expense. Then he started toward the entrance. Viserion broke through the wall, tearing a larger hole where the door had been. Rhaegal was right on his tail, carrying me along with him. The dragon walked in lurches and I tightened my hold.

Then suddenly we were outside, and then we were flying. Drogon swooped down beside us. I glanced over to see Daenerys. I must have been grinning like a mad man, because she laughed. “This is bloody amazing!” I shouted to her. My words were lost to the wind, but she appeared to get the idea.

She nodded for me to follow her toward the bay. Instinct kicked in, I leaned to the right and Rhaegal veered that direction. We dogged the balls of fire being flung from trebuchets as we neared the ships. Daenerys circled one, drawing my attention. I leaned down and Rhaegal dived for it, Viserion followed.

I imagined from below what the sight of two white-haired women on dragons might look like. A few of the men looked like they might be shitting themselves. “Dracarys!” Daenerys shouted. Drogon opened his mouth and fire shot out, Viserion and Rhaegal followed.

I held Rhaegal steady, as Daenerys did the same with Drogon. Viserion flew about, hitting the ship with fire from every angle. I wondered if he would ever have a rider.

I could feel myself being pulled away. “Gods!” I swore. I turned to Daenerys, knowing she wouldn’t be able to hear me. “I’ll be back when I can!” Suddenly I was ripped away.

I sat up quickly, tossing my blanket off. Aylward jumped back startled. I reached out and grabbed his hands. “I just rode a dragon,” I whispered. “A dragon!”

For a moment he looked shocked. But, as if remembering his reputation as a stoic knight, he reverted to his signature calm expression. “That’s well and good, but we’ve got another week’s ride to Winterfell. We need to keep moving.” I grinned and let him pull me to my feet. He shook his head and cracked a smile. “Come on then, are you going to tell me about it, or not?”

* * *

I had gotten quite good at being in two places at once. In one body I held the candle, while I rode atop a Dornish horse. But in this body, I pushed back the flap of a tent. A redheaded man with wild eyes had led me here. He hadn’t asked questions, just said he was going the same way.

Sansa was the first person I saw. I watched as a war of expression happened on her face when she saw me. “Amina, thank the Gods.” She hugged me. “Are you real?”

I shook my head against her shoulder. “We’re still over a day’s ride from here,” I admitted. “But I couldn’t wait.” I looked behind her, the men in the tent stared at me. The redheaded man looked curious. I recognized a man I had seen at Castle Black during my accidental visit. He looked less than interested, as if he’d seen this all before. I knew the faces of several Northern lords gathered around the table.

Finally my eyes found Jon. Sansa let me go, as if she knew without even looking. I walked up to him, wide eyed. “Brienne said…It seemed so-“ I reached out and put my hands on either side of his face. My right hand slipped into his hair, he wore it pulled back now. The fingers of my left hand danced across his face. As if checking to see that things were all in the correct places. “I saw your body.”

He pulled me toward him, both hands on my waist. My arms went around his neck. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered gruffly against my skin. “I should have listened to you, Ami. I should have left.”

The steely feeling that I had felt after our last conversation, washed over me once more. Equal parts white-hot anger, and icy resentment. But as quickly as it had appeared, it was gone. I let him go, and reluctantly he released me. “You would never have left,” I reminded him. “Just as I would never have given up my crown for you. We both have duties to carry out. Perhaps they will always pull us in different directions.”

I turned toward the war council. I was suddenly aware that this tent full of people had just been privy to such an intimate moment. I looked over the map. Painted stones represented the Boltons and the Starks. I remembered the last time I’d looked over a map like this. Then we had beautifully carved symbols to represent each army. It felt like a stone was sitting on my chest. “You’re severely out numbered,” I remarked. “My men will arrive soon, can you wait? We aren’t many, but you could use the reinforcements.”

“We’ve met with Ramsay,” the older man with the grey beard informed me. “The battle is set for sunrise, your grace.” He knew who I was then.

I nodded. “Then tomorrow I will fight.”

“You’re smaller than the blonde lass,” the redheaded man said with a smirk.

“That blonde lass would have your tongue if she heard you call her a lass.” His smirk turned into a full grin. I turned to the Northern lords. “I know each of you. Once I was your Queen. I do not expect you to bow to me now. I haven’t earned it. But I will not let you ride into a battle that I would not fight myself. Winterfell is my home.”

“Ami-“

I held up a hand, cutting Jon off. “I will need a sword. I’ve already lost one knife from my set. I have a feeling if I throw any tomorrow, I won’t be getting them back.” After I said it, I realized I didn’t even have my knife belt with me.

“We can handle that,” the grey haired man told me.

“Leave us,” Jon told the others. They filed out of the tent, leaving me behind with Jon and Sansa. “You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into. You’ve never fought a battle like this.”

“Maybe not one of this magnitude, but I fought in the battle of the Whispering Woods, among others.”

“Robb let you fight?” He asked incredulously.

I gave him a look. “Of course not, but that didn’t stop me. I fought beside House Umber, Robb never knew.” I considered that maybe he did know, and looked the other way. He had known more than I had thought, after all. Perhaps he really hadn’t seen me as fragile.

“The Umbers have turned on us now.”

“All the more reason to let me fight. I know how we deal with traitors in the North,” I reminded him. “Ours is the old way.”

“She isn’t really here, anyway,” Sansa spoke up. “I told you before.”

“But do you know what happens if you die?” Jon asked. “What happens to the rest of you?”

I shook my head. “I’ll get out before it comes to that.” Jon still looked unsure, not that I was going to give him much of a say in the matter. “I should go, Aylward will need an update.”

“Wait, Amina.” Sansa walked over to me. “I made you a dress, I knew I’d see you again soon. Will you wear it tomorrow?”

“You know I don’t plan on making it through tomorrow, at least not in this body.”

She nodded. “If you ruin this one, I’ll make you another.” She reached for my hands. There was fire in her eyes. “Ramsay said terrible things about you and Robb, and your reign. I wish that I could fight him with weapons for the things he’s done to me, but I am no warrior. If dressing you like a queen helps you prove him wrong, it’s the least I can do.”

I nodded. Tomorrow I would fight until I fell, taking as many Bolton men down with me as I could. It didn’t matter to me what I was wearing, but if it made Sansa feel better, then I would wear her dress.

I let go of the candle, and found myself back on my horse. Aywlard had stopped his horse, which meant mine had stopped as well. My men were beginning to unload for the night. “No!” I shouted. “We ride through the night!”

“Your grace, we will be there soon,” Aylward pointed out. “We should rest.”

“At sunrise the battle for Winterfell begins. If we keep moving we may just make it.”

Lord Darry rode up beside me. “My men could use a good fight. We’ll ride.”

“Then it’s settled,” I said with a nod. I turned to look back at my men. “To Winterfell!”

I glanced down at the candle, which I held with my sleeve under my coat. “Amina, you don’t plan to do anything stupid, do you?”

I looked up at him. “Not stupid, brave.”

“Sometimes those words can be synonyms.”

“Let me be a queen, Aylward. I promise you, my reign has only just begun.”


	28. Warriors

_"[in youth you'd lay awake at night and scheme](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4SMA_W_5y1E)_   
_[of all the things that you would change, but it was just a dream](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4SMA_W_5y1E)"_

When the sun rose I was riding through the countryside, next to Aylward. At the same time I sat on another horse, next to Jon. I had told Aylward under no circumstances was he to stop riding. I needed our reinforcements at Winterfell as quickly as possible. We had made it past Castle Cerwyn, less than half a day’s ride to Winterfell. But I still wasn’t sure if that would be fast enough.

I looked over at Jon. “Are you ready for this?” He asked me. I nodded. He turned his horse and led him through our men to the front. The dress Sansa had made me looked similar to the one I’d worn in Riverrun. But she’d braided my hair differently. It hung down my back, instead of encircling my head. I gripped my sword tightly. In Riverrun I had felt like a queen, today I felt like a warrior.

Across the field, I could see the Bolton army. It was twice the size of ours, but only a fraction the size of the Lannister armies I’d seen before. “I made them promise not to bring me back,” Jon said quietly. “If I die, I don’t want to come back.”

I stared at him for a long moment. There was an unsaid question in his words. He wanted me to promise as well. “Then don’t die,” I said finally. He pressed his lips together. He knew full well that was a promise I would never make.

I could just make out Ramsay walking toward us. He had someone with him. I squinted trying to make out the figure. “Is that Rickon?” I whispered. The last time I’d seen Rickon he was just a child. Now he stood almost as tall as Ramsay. Jon dismounted, and took a few steps forward for a better view.

Ramsay raised a knife, the sun reflected off it. I tensed. “Can you shoot?” I asked one of Jon’s advisors, the older man, whose name I’d learned was Davos.

He shook his head. “Too far.”

Ramsay brought down the knife, cutting the ropes that bound Rickon. I felt a sinking in the pit of my stomach. Sansa had told me about Ramsay’s hounds that had a taste for human flesh. I expected them to be released, but instead Ramsay picked up a bow. Jon ran back for his horse. “Jon, don’t!” I shouted, as he leapt into the saddle.

“I can’t just sit here, that’s my brother!” He gave the horse a kick and took off toward Rickon. I considered my options. I should have gone to Ramsay in the night, slit his throat before the battle could even begin. But using magic, and murdering in the dead of night, were not our way. My horse started forward and I pulled on the reins to keep him in place. I stopped next to the redheaded wildling, Tormund. He looked up at me from the ground. I tried not to look at terrified as I felt.

Ramsay shot arrows, one at a time. The first three missed Rickon by inches. It may have been just luck, but I was inclined to believe Ramsay was toying with us. As Jon neared Rickon, I began to get an inkling of hope. If he could just toss Rickon on the back of his horse and get him out of here…

Then the fourth arrow was fired. I could tell, before it even started its descent, that it was true. “Rickon!” I shouted. He looked up. The arrow hit him in the back. I gasped. For a moment the only thing I could see was Rickon’s body, everything else was black.

“Prepare to charge!” Davos shouted, jarring me back into the moment. Ramsay’s archers were firing. To dodge the arrows, Jon was forced to ride straight toward the Bolton army. We had planned for them to charge us, but now we had no choice. I gave my horse a kick and rode with the front of the pack.

As I adjusted my grip on my sword, I wished that I had my knives. I looked over my shoulder, praying that maybe Aylward was close. I looked back to Jon. I watched as his horse went down, hit by arrows. My stomach churned as I strained to see him pull himself to his feet.

When the two armies collided, everything was chaos. I tried to look for Jon, but it was impossible to find him in the sea of soldiers. I swung my sword, knocking a soldier from his horse. The panicked horse rose up on its hind legs, and then came down on its former rider. I yanked my horse to the side, just in time to dodge a soldier charging at me.

I ran into another Bolton soldier who turned from the man he’d been about to swing at. He and I dueled on horseback. I pressed my feet on my stirrups to keep my balance as I swung. I sliced the man across the chest, but not deep enough. He swung, and I raised my sword to block. Before either of us could try again, another round of arrows rained around us. I dropped my body to the horse, to avoid a hit to anything vital. When I looked up, I realized one had hit the other man in the neck.

I pushed my horse onward, but he struggled over the bodies of men and horses strewn across the ground. A man on the ground swung at my horse, hitting it in the leg. It went down and I rolled off, pushing myself to my feet. Before he could swing at me, an arrow hit him in the back and he fell forward onto me.

I shoved him off. Before I could regain my balance, my arm was yanked. I leaned back, narrowly dodging the man’s sword. I stabbed, but missed. He lunged toward me sword first. The blade connected with my side. I screamed in pain. I tried to swing, but the pain brought me to my knees. The man raised his sword to strike again.

For a moment I was paralyzed. I screamed at myself to regain control. Then I hit the ground flat on my back, knocking the air out of me. “Whoa!” I heard Aylward shout. “Grab that horse!” The blinding light faded from my eyes, and things came into focus. I pushed myself up on my hands. I was gasping for air.

Aylward grabbed my shoulders. “You’re alright, you’re alive.”

My hand went to my side. I looked at it, expecting there to be blood. The feeling of the sword in my skin still stung in my memory. I pushed myself to my feet. “We have to go.”

“Amina, perhaps you should-“

I grabbed his arms. “They’re going to lose!” I shouted. “Ramsay killed Rickon! We have to go!” I pulled myself back into my saddle. I reached for the knife belt around my waist. As I slid my fingers over the familiar, worn handles, my breathing returned to normal. I knew where we were. I could just make out the sounds of battle in the distance. I kicked my horse and rode. I was not done yet.

I heard the sound of horns, coming at us from the side. “Prepare for a fight!” Aylward shouted. I turned back to look at my men. Darry banners, flown side-by-side silver lined Targaryen banners, a gift from Dorne. I turned back to look at the approaching army, I recognized the banners.

“Stand down, it’s the Knights of the Vale,” I shouted. Riding in the front was Sansa. “Fall in with their forces!” My horse broke into a full gallop until I was in front of Sansa. Her army and my men had joined the battle. From just above, I could see the Bolton men break.

Just past the battle, on the hill, sat Winterfell. The last time I had left, I had assumed I would never see it again. Sansa pointed further down the hill. Ramsay sat atop his horse, watching. Finally he turned and headed toward the gates. “That coward,” I hissed. I checked my knives, though I knew they were there. Then I gave my horse a kick and started toward the castle.

* * *

By the time I made it across the field, the fight was over. Ramsay was taken away. The process of cleaning up the mess outside had begun. I asked around, to see if anyone had found my body. Apparently it had vanished along with the dress Sansa had made. The Red Priestess joined me as I watched the Bolton banners cut from the walls. When the Stark ones unfurled in their place, I felt a weight lift from my shoulders.

“A dragonrider and a warrior queen,” she said. “What will you be tomorrow?”

I looked down as they brought Rickon’s body into the courtyard. “I don’t know, but today I am Amina Winterfell.”

I went down the stairs to be with Sansa and Jon. Tormund and the other wildling that carried Rickon stopped in front of us. I reached out and touched my little brother’s cheek. “My brave little wolf, you’re home now.”

“I’m going to burry my brother in the crypt, next to my father,” Jon told them. They took Rickon’s body away.

I looked between them both. “I’ll be in my room,” I paused. “If it’s still there.” Jon nodded and I walked away.

My room in the tower was mostly neglected. It looked like someone had stayed here, but it had been a while. I stripped the bed and found new blankets. My closet was almost bare. Whoever had been here had borrowed from the wardrobe I left behind when I went south with Robb.

Aylward knocked on the doorframe. I motioned for him to come in. “So this is where you lived.” I nodded. “They’re bringing up your things from Dorne. I asked them to do that quickly, I thought it might make you feel more at home.”

I laughed humorlessly. “Who would have thought I would need help feeling at home in Winterfell.”

“You’ve been gone a long time.”

“The last time we were here, I didn’t want to look around. I thought it would be the last time I would ever see this castle. Now I’m back, and everything just seems so grim. I grew up here, but this isn’t my home. Not anymore.” I looked outside the window.

I pointed to the opposite side of the courtyard. “That’s where we used to play. I learned how to fire a bow and swing a sword right there. Even when we weren’t sparing, we would just be sitting there. Sometimes I’d braid Theon’s hair.” Aylward laughed. “Jon never let me touch his. They used to say he never met a girl he liked as much as his hair. I always smirked at that, but they weren’t wrong.”

I turned toward the door just below me. “I used to steal food from the kitchens, I never stopped eating. It’s a wonder I stayed so small. And those awful lessons, I pricked my finger a million times sewing.”

“There’s something you aren’t good at?” He asked with a smirk. I hit his arm playfully. I found that I was actually smiling. Then tears brimmed in my eyes and I started crying. Aylward sat me down on the bed. “It won’t always be like this. You can bring the light back into the castle.”

I shook my head. “My family was the light. Ned and Catelyn were the heart of this place, and Robb held everything together. Theon was always my partner in crime. Arya, Bran, and Rickon had so much energy, there was never a dull moment. Even Sansa and her dreadful attitude made this home. And Jon…” I looked across the courtyard to Jon’s window. “Nothing will ever be the same.”

“You’re right, it won’t be. But Winterfell will find a new heart. I think you’ll find Sansa is more than capable of holding everything together herself. And I’ve lost track of how many times you’ve assured me Arya is still out here.”

“Bran too,” I added.

“Maybe everything was meant to lead here.”

“You’re sounding awfully philosophical, did you get hit on the head during battle?” I asked, feigning concern.

Aylward smiled and stood up. He gave my arm a squeeze. “Get some rest, your grace. You deserve it.”

“Thank you, Aylward. For everything.”

He shook his head. “You’re my Queen, I’d do anything for you.”


	29. Home

_"[this took my life to make](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGnO5tCIVI0)"_

Night fell, and still I couldn’t sleep. A knock on my door interrupted me from trying. “Come in!” I called. The door squeaked open. I turned to see Sansa peeking through the door. “I said come in.”

Sansa opened the door slowly and walked into the room. “I didn’t want to intrude, were you sleeping?” I shook my head, and motioned for her to come sit next to me on the bed. The candle on the nightstand cast shadows on her face. “I’ve only been in here a few times,” she noted. “I was never really welcome before.”

I smiled. “You weren’t missing much, just an old room. Doesn’t have much personality anymore.”

“I like these blankets,” she said, running a hand over them. Ellaria had sent them in one of the chests from Dorne. They were thick with beautiful embroidered patterns that reminded me of the Water Gardens. I wondered if she had them made especially for me.

“Did you want to talk about something?” I asked.

“It’s over,” she said quietly. Her tone was calm and her face betrayed no emotion. “It’s really over.” I knew she meant Ramsay was finally dead. The sounds of his screams and the dogs barking had carried across the courtyard.

“How does it feel?” I asked after a moment.

“Good, I think.” She looked down. “Does that make me an awful person?”

I reached out for her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Of course not. After everything that monster did to you, you’re allowed to take some joy in his death. He can’t hurt you anymore, he can’t hurt anyone.”

“Do you want to kill the Freys for what they did to Robb?”

“I almost had a chance at Riverrun, I was so close to Lothar and Black Walder. I thought that there would be a perfect moment. I pictured them storming the castle, a huge fight. But then the Lannisters arrived.” I shook my head. “One day House Frey will be reduced to the rats that they are, and I will be there to watch.”

Sansa crawled forward, turning to put her back against the headboard. She laid her head on my shoulder. For a moment we just sat there in silence. I thought she had fallen asleep. “Robb was so in love with you,” she whispered. “It was like something out of a storybook. He would have done anything for you. I was always jealous, I guess I still am.”

“I loved him too.” I closed my eyes for a moment, a sad smile on my lips. “I never got to tell him.”

“You showed your affection in your own way. I’m sure he knew.”

I shook my head. “I never let him in. He was so good to me, but I tried so hard to push him away. I thought that if I kept him at arm’s length it would make things easier on us.” I let out a breathy humorless laugh. “And the whole time he knew. His last words to me were about Jon. He always knew about us, but he never said anything.”

“We all knew, except for father,” Sansa told me with a shrug. “But no one could stand to break your heart, so we all kept quiet.”

I shook my head, amazed that they’d let it go on for years. “Even Catelyn didn’t stop me, and she hated Jon.”

“You’ve spent years apart, and now he’s just across the courtyard…” She trailed off. “Why aren’t you with him?”

“I saw him at Castle Black, I wanted to legitimize him as Robb asked me to do. He said no, he’d rather stay at the wall.” I shook my head. “I understand why, I do. But hearing that still hurt.”

“So your plan is to avoid him until the next war council?” I shrugged. She leapt forward and turned to look at me. “Gods, Amina, I almost forgot how stubborn you were. Talk to him, at least. Do it for me.” She gave me a push.

“This is my bed,” I protested, but got up anyway.

Sansa stopped and frowned. “Would you mind terribly if I slept in here?” She asked. “It’s just my old room was where-“

“Of course,” I cut her off before she was forced to recount any terrible memories. “There are nightclothes in one of those chests if you want to change.”

She nodded, her frown softening. This time she took my hand and squeezed. “Good luck.”

“Sleep well, Sansa.”

* * *

I dragged my feet as I walked and took the long way to Jon’s room. It was late, but still people moved through the castle. They bowed their heads and addressed me as “your grace” or “my queen” as I walked by. It felt surreal.

Finally I reached Jon’s door. It was the same room it had always been, still isolated from the rest of the castle, just like he’d been from the family. I knocked hesitantly. After a moment of silence I determined he must have already gone to sleep. Just as I was about to turn away, the door opened. Jon stood in the doorway looking bone weary, something I felt as well. But when he saw me his eyes lit up, and my stomach did somersaults. “Come in.”

I walked slowly into the room, glancing around to see if anything had changed. Despite coming here a thousand times, it felt different. “How’re you?”

“Tired.” He laughed. “Clean now, felt nice to have a bath.”

“You did look a terror before.” I ran my fingers self-consciously through my hair, still tangled from rolling around in bed trying to sleep. “You should’ve seen me when I made it to King’s Landing. I swear I had an entire tree in my hair! It’s a wonder they let me in the keep. Margaery herself untangled the rats nest on my head.” I realized suddenly that I was rambling and stopped. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come. I’ll let you get some sleep.”

I turned toward the door. “Ami, wait.” He grabbed my arm. “Please, stay.” He glanced around the room. “I don’t have a place to sit.”

I shrugged. “The bed is fine.” He let me go and we both walked over. I sat down and pulled my legs up to my chest. “I like the way you’ve been wearing your hair.”

Jon touched the little bun. “I dunno, felt like a change I guess. Your hair looks amazing, I’ve never seen it this light.”

I twisted a piece around my finger. “No more hiding.” I laughed. “Six years and we’re talking about our hair?”

“There are so many things I want to ask you, I don’t know where to start. You have a twin, and a magic rock? And something about dragons, is that real?”

“It’s a magic candle made  _out_  of rock, dragonglass to be specific. And yes the dragons are very real.” He smiled. “And you’ve been beyond the wall! You have a whole army of Wildlings? Did you really fight a White Walker and live to tell the tale?”

“They prefer Free Folk,” he corrected. I nodded once, eyes wide with excitement at the idea of people from beyond the wall living among us. “And yeah, a few actually. Dragonglass and Valyrian steel both get the job done, in case you’re ever in that situation.”

“I’ll be sure to stab them with my candle,” I said seriously. He burst into laughter, and then I was laughing too. We leaned toward each other in a fit of giggles, the sort of laughter that only came from exhaustion. Somehow I ended up lying with my head in his lap staring up at him.

Jon looked down at me, his face suddenly serious. “I’ve missed this.” He reached into his pocket and pulled something out. He put the torn ribbon in my hand. “Somehow I held onto it through everything.” I twisted it around my fingers. It was even more worn and frayed than mine. I used to wonder if he held onto it, if he twirled it around his fingers as often as I did with mine. It was clear he had.

I rolled over and pushed myself up, so I was sitting with my knees folded under me. I put my hands on either side of his face and leaned toward him. I hovered inches from him, still in awe that we’d managed to find each other again. He closed the distance between us, pressing his lips to mine. He put his hands on my hips and pulled me closer. I found the tie holding his hair back and pulled it out so I could run my fingers through his hair. “No Theon to interrupt this time,” I murmured.

I tilted my head back as he placed kisses down my neck. My hands moved to the hem of his shirt, and gave it a tug. He pulled away from me just long enough to pull it over his head. I pushed him back on the bed and straddled him. My eyes fell on the scars across his chest, the stab wounds that had killed him. I ran my fingers across them.

I leaned down and kissed him again. His hands moved to my thighs where my nightgown was already hiked up. Jon ran his hands over my legs, before resting them on my hips. I sat up and pulled the slip over my head and tossed it to the ground.

He moved his fingers quickly and I looked down. On my side was a scar. It was still red as if it had only just healed. It took me a moment to realize what it was from. “I died,” I whispered.

I took his hand and moved it up to my waist, not wanting to think about the battle any longer. I leaned back down to kiss him again, but he flipped me over so I was on my back next to him. He pressed kisses down my neck and to my collarbone and I laughed into his hair.

Once upon a time, a girl fell in love with a boy she shouldn’t have looked twice at. That girl believed in true love and happy endings. Even when she pretended like those things were only in storybooks. I forgot that girl along the way. Too scared to watch another thing fall apart, I ran away from happiness instead. But I finally found the truth: happy endings do exist. You just have to fight for them.

* * *

“What are you writing?” Sansa asked, peering of my shoulder. I jumped and fell forward out of the windowsill I was perched in.

I closed my notebook with a snap. “I thought you were still asleep, I didn’t want to go in and wake you.”

“No, I’ve been up for a while.” She smiled. “You never came back last night.” She waited for details but I just shook my head with a smile.

“I need a new notebook, this one’s full,” I murmured. I’d crammed the last few lines onto the final page wanting to wrap up the story.  _I_  knew it wasn’t the end, but if anyone ever read it I wanted to make sure it was satisfying. Hopefully the sequal would be just a thrilling.

“That one looks like it’s about to fall apart.”

“It is, I’ve been writing in it for almost five years.” I flipped through it. “And some stuff before the war, but I took a break. It’s not comprehensive by any means.”

“Did you write about me?” She asked, reaching for it.

“A page or two,” I told her, pulling the book away. “The first time I found you in the Godswood at the Red Keep.”

“How about the other twelve times? We had some nice talks.” She pretended to be offended. “Let me read.”

“Absolutely not.” I clutched it to my chest. We started laughing. We must have been a sight, two grown women playing tug of war with a notebook in the halls of Winterfell. “We’re ridiculous.” I looked out the window to the courtyard below. Jon walked out of the great hall. I watched him rub his forehead looking stressed. “I’ll be back. I’m taking this with me.”

“You can’t carry it around forever,” Sansa protested.

“Watch me!”

Jon had already gone up to the walk by the time I got down to the courtyard. I followed him up. “It’s cold, you should come inside.” He looked over at me. I could tell something was upsetting him. I turned to look out over the hillside. Far in the distance I saw a spot of red riding away over the snowy landscape. “Where’s she going?” I tossed my notebook onto the ledge.

“Melisandre admitted to murdering Stannis Baratheon’s daughter. She said it was a sacrifice to her God,” he explained bitterly. “Doesn’t that make him an evil God? What does that mean for me? Her God told her to bring me back.”

I shook my head. “No, he didn’t. She thinks the Lord of Light sent me as a vision in the flames. But, it was just a coincidence. I didn’t know how to use the candle yet. I didn’t mean to go to Castle Black. She knew my face, who I was, what I meant to you. She assumed the Lord sent me.” The faintest part of me said there was no such thing as coincidence. If I appeared there, it was for a reason.

“She never told me that she saw you,” he murmured.

“I believe that means you owe me your life now,” I said with a smirk. “Isn’t that how it works?”

He stepped toward me and put his hand on my waist. “It was already yours.” Just as he leaned in to kiss me, someone behind us cleared their throat. I turned to see Sansa.

“Sorry, to interrupt,” she said with a knowing smile. “We received a raven from the Citadel, a  _white_  raven. Winter is here.”

I laughed. “It’s about time, I’ve only been telling everyone that for years.” Jon pulled me closer to him, as if he’d just realized I was right about it being cold.

“I’m preparing the Lord’s chambers for you,” he told Sansa.

“Mother and father’s room?” She asked. “Shouldn’t the two of you take it?”

“I’m not Lady Stark, not anymore,” I told her. “You’re the Lady of Winterfell. And besides, I just unpacked.”

“And you won’t be staying,” she realized.

“Not forever.”

Sadness washed over her face, but she pushed it away with a fake smile. “Well, good, the two of you were always such a nuisance. King’s Landing deserves you.” Jon and I looked at each other. Sansa shook her head, as if she’d seen this all coming for years.

“You aren’t the Lady of Winterfell because Amina is abdicating,” Jon told her. “You’re the Lady because you deserve it. We’re standing here because of you. The battle was lost until the Knights of the Vale rode in.”

Sansa looked out over the wall for a moment. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about them,” she said finally. I held out my hand to her. She took it and stepped toward us. I knew how it felt, to not know if you could trust those closest to you.

“We need to trust each other,” Jon told her. “We can’t be fighting a war among ourselves, we have so many enemies now.”

Sansa’s eyes flicked to my notebook on the sill. I shook my head, but reached for it, dropping her hand. I gave it to her. “Get me another notebook.”

“I already put one in your room,” she said. She flipped through the pages quickly. The frayed black ribbon slipped out. “What’s this?” She asked, picking it up from the snow. Jon eyed it with a soft smile.

I sighed. “Just read the book.” She smiled and turned around. As she went down the stairs, I saw her flip to the first page, unable to wait till she was back in her quarters.

“Can I read it when she’s done?” Jon asked.

I looked up at him. “Never. There are some things you just don’t tell boys.” He started to speak, but I cut him off with a kiss. “Can we go in now? I’ve been south for so long, I’ve lost my thick skin.”

He laughed. “You better not be going soft on me, Ami.”

I scoffed, offended. “Never mind, I have a better idea. Let’s play a game. Archery, knife throwing, and sword fighting, best two out of three.” I led him down the stairs to our favorite spot in the courtyard.

“It’ll come down to archery, it always does.”

I raised an eyebrow. “It’s been six years, you never know. I might have a few new tricks up my sleeve.”

“I’ll take that bet.” He laughed.

“Oh, the Night’s Watch made you cocky, hmm? Say your prayers, Snow.” I picked up a sword and sized him up. “Come and get me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out the Queensguard companion chapter in Different Lives, Different Destinies


	30. King and Queen

_"[he was a king to me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRqmJYSrxp8)_   
[ _and I was the queen to be_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRqmJYSrxp8)   
_[‘till the walls came crumbling down](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRqmJYSrxp8) "_

As I headed into the great hall, Aylward pulled me aside, blue eyes steely. “There’s been news from King’s Landing.” His hand stayed on my arm, but he didn’t say anything else.

“Aylward, what is it?” I couldn’t remember ever seeing him like this. He was always so composed; the stoic knight, as I liked to tease. “What’s wrong?”

He swallowed, searching for words. “The Sept of Baelor was destroyed in an explosion. It isn’t certain how it happened, but-“

“There was a wildfire cache underneath,” I mumbled, remembering what Tyrion had told my sister and me. “No one moved it after Aerys, no one knew.”

“ _Someone_  knew.” There was a brief pause as we both considered that. There was only one woman I could imagine being crazy enough to attempt something like that.

“Was-“ I broke off for a moment, knowing the answer to my question before I even asked it. “Was anyone killed?”

Aylward nodded once. “The Faith was holding a trial.” He looked away, but his fingers tightened on my arm. The last I’d heard from the capital, both Tyrells had been locked away for their supposed crimes. “Margaery and Loras were inside.”

I wrapped my arms around him, crushing my face against his chest. I didn’t attempt to hold back my tears, and though I didn’t look up, I could feel Aylward shaking too. He’d known the Tyrells long before he took up with Renly. We’d both lost friends. “The way I left things with Margaery-“ The words caught in my throat.

“We all make mistakes,” he whispered, fingers brushing through my hair to calm me down, while I rubbed his back. I couldn’t remember a time we’d ever been so affectionate towards each other. But it didn’t seem strange; we’d been fighting together for years now.

When I stepped back, Aylward was composed again, as if the moment of vulnerability could be so easily forgotten. I dragged my hands across my cheeks, wiping away my tears. “I should be getting inside. Will you find Daemon and Archibald, please?” That was why we worked so well together. We’d be there for each other always, but we also knew when the other needed time to process alone.

OoOoO

I sat between Sansa and Jon in the great hall. The room was packed. Northern lords stood beside Dornishmen. The Darrys talked to the Free Folk. Aylward and Davos sat beside the Knights of the Vale, but not close enough to look like they belonged with them. Almost every part of Westeros was represented in this room. In theory it was amazing. In practice, it was chaos.

“You can’t expect the Knights of the Vale to side with Wildling invaders!” Yohn Royce protested.

“We didn’t invade, we were invited,” Tormund reminded him.

“I say let the Wildlings in,” Daemon Sand, a member of my Queensguard, spoke up. “They’re the only ones here who know what the Seven Hells is coming from beyond that wall.” Archibald Yronwood, another of my guard, nodded his agreement. No one was about to argue with Archibald, he was almost seven feet tall.

“If you won’t have them, we’ll take them south with the Queen,” Lyman Darry offered, looking at me. I nodded at the most recent addition to my Queensguard. The room erupted in discussion once more. Tormund and I shared an amused look.

Jon stood. “The Free Folk, Northerners, Knights of the Vale, and Amina’s forces fought together. And they fought bravely. We won because of all of you. My father used to say we find our true friends on the battlefield.”

“The battle is over,” Lord Cerwyn spoke up. “Winter has come, if the Maesters are correct, it’ll be the coldest one in a thousand years. We should ride home and wait out the storms.”

“Oi, if you cowards want to run home with your tails between your legs, so be it,” Archibald said. “But I’ll stay and fight as long as my Queen commands it. I thought you lot were supposed to have tough skin.”

“The war has only just begun, and trust me the real enemy will not wait out the storms,” Jon reminded them. “He brings the storm.”

Lyman stood. “If this winter is truly the coldest yet, then perhaps this is our chance to strike the Lannister army. As a Southerner myself, I know they’ll be ill prepared. We can catch them off guard.” He looked to Aylward. “Not to speak over the Lord Commander.”

“It makes logistical sense,” Aylward said. He looked to me. “What say you, your grace?”

“While I would love nothing more than to hit the Lannister army while they’re unprepared, now is not the time,” I said, standing. “I’ve heard the stories from the Free Folk. We have more to worry about than the Lannisters. But, my battle is not why we called this assembly.”

Little Lyanna Mormont stood. Even with the others around her sitting, she was still shorter than them. But she was as fierce as her cousin Jorah. “The Queen is right, we did not come here to speak of the war in the South. We came here to speak of the North. Amina remembers.” I sat back down beside Jon, letting her take the floor.

Lyanna looked at the other Northern lords, who had been uncharacteristically quiet. I knew them all well. They had once fought for Robb, and now they returned after turning their backs on Jon and Sansa. “Each of you swore to serve House Stark, but in their moment of need you refused the call. But House Mormont remembers, the North remembers! We know no King, but the King in the North who’s name is Stark. I don’t care if he’s a bastard. Ned Stark’s blood runs through his veins. He’s my King from this day, until his last day.” She nodded at Jon and sat back down.

Lord Manderly stood. “Lady Mormont speaks true. My son died at the Red Wedding. He believed in Robb Stark, and so did I. We didn’t know the Queen was alive. Silver haired or not, she is a Stark. But yet, I did not pledge my men to fight beside her when the Martells called. I was too stubborn to believe them.” I didn’t even know Doran’s men had made it this far. “I did not think the North would ever see another King. I refused to sacrifice more Manderlys for nothing. I was wrong on both accounts. Jon Snow avenged the Red Wedding.” He took out his sword, and knelt in front of us. “He is the King in the North.”

The other Northern lords followed. The room erupted in a chant. “The King in the North!” Even the Knights and the Free Folk joined in.

I pressed my lips together in a small smile, and looked at Sansa. “Us women never get any credit.”

“In their defense, “the Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, and the King in the North” is a bit of a mouthful.” I laughed and she put her hand on top of mine.

I looked back at Jon, who was still sat bewildered. I smiled. “Stand up, it isn’t me they’re on about.” He smiled back and stood. I glanced over at Aylward, who winked. I leaned close to Sansa. “I wonder what they’d think if they knew I just beat their king in a sword fight.”

OoOoO

Jon’s room was just as spartan as it had always been. Not even being King in the North could persuade him to get a few new furnishings. But I liked that it still felt familiar. The one corner of the keep that didn’t feel touched by someone else’s hands.

I perched on the desk while Jon wrote. I’d discussed plans with Lyman. Word had spread about the Freys’ demise. We were debating sending Darry men south to rally the Rivermen to our cause. I still needed to meet with the Dornishmen, but for the moment I just wanted to be with Jon. It seemed as if we spent every waking moment in council with the other lords and ladies. I appreciated their eagerness, but their incessant bickering took up so much time. Jon and I hardly ever got a moment alone.

I trailed my finger across his cheek, tracing his jaw. He glanced up and I smiled. “What are you doing?” He asked.

“It seems so strange still, like someone will swoop down and take you away at any moment,” I murmured. “I want to make the most of it while I can.”

Jon grabbed my hand, holding it against his cheek. “You aren’t going to lose me, not this time. Not again.”

I leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. “Of course not,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper. I knew it was what he wanted to hear. But these were dangerous times, and I preferred to be realistic. I had already lost so much. Who’s to say he wouldn’t be the next to go? But I would do everything I could to keep him by my side.

OoOoO

As we sat in the great hall, I fought the urge to rest my chin on Sansa’s shoulder and take a nap. I had almost forgotten just how boring and tedious these meetings could be. I’d attended so many with Robb they’d become a blur, I hardly knew where one ended and the next began. The same was happening now.

I sat down each night, new notebook in hand, and attempted to record the most important moments. Only to find I was halfway through a story that actually happened two days previous. If the Maesters could bend truths in the official records, I was certainly allowed to do the same in a notebook.

“We need every Northern Maester to look for any mentions of dragonglass,” Jon told them. “Dragonglass kills White Walkers, we’ll need to mine as much as possible to make weapons. Everyone ages ten to sixty will train daily with weapons of their choosing.”

He glanced at me, and I had to blink a few times to remember what we were talking about. I stood next to him, fingers brushing against his. The two of us had already fallen into a pattern of shared responsibility. “I don’t care if you want your son to be the next Barristan Selmy. If he’s better with a bow, he trains with a bow. This war won’t be about valor; it’ll be about survival. We need experts.”

“It’s about time we teach these Southern boys how to fight!” Lord Glover called out with a laugh.

“Not just the boys,” Jon and I said at the same time. We looked at each other and then back at Robett. “We won’t win this war with only half our population fighting,” Jon amended.

“I’ve seen the Queen fight, she’s very skilled.” He shook his head as he said it, and the compliment felt more like a dig at my character. “But respectfully, your grace, how can you ask me to put a sword in my granddaughter’s hand?”

Lyanna Mormont stood up again, her mouth set in a straight line. “I don’t plan on knitting by the fire while men fight for me. I might be small, and I might be a girl, but I am ever bit as much a Northerner as you.”

I nodded at her, a small smile on my lips. “I do understand we can’t all be Lady Brienne when it comes to swords, Lord Glover. If your girls feel more comfortable holding a bow, they are welcome to train with that. I’d also be happy to teach knife throwing if there’s an opportunity.”

“You can expect every man, woman, boy, and girl on Bear Island to be trained and ready for attack, your grace,” Lyanna said to me. The other Northern lords shouted agreements.

I surveyed the room, eyes landing on Daemon and Archibald. “The Dornish forces that accompanied me here will stay and train with the Northerners. I’ve been assured you’re the best of the best, and I want you here for this fight. I promise you that you’ll all be reunited with the rest of your forces to the South soon enough.”

“Dornishmen are loyal,” Daemon said with a charming smile. “You have nothing to worry about with them.”

“I don’t much care for the men we left behind anyway,” Archibald muttered, loud enough for everyone to hear. Daemon smacked him hard on the arm. I fought back a laugh. The Dornishmen had been a great addition to my party, there was never a dull moment with them around.

I turned to Lyman next. Since our initial meeting, things had become much easier between us. “We’ll discuss the plans for the Darry men soon.” He nodded once. The former Lord Darry had renounced his title in favor of joining my Queensguard. He was loyal and smart, and didn’t hesitate to speak his mind. I appreciated his tenacity.

I sat down as Jon addressed his plans for the Free Folk to man the castles along the wall. I pinched the bridge of my nose when Tormund taunted the Northerners. Between him and Archibald it was a wonder the room hadn’t turned into a tavern brawl. “If the White Walkers do breach the Wall, they’ll encounter Last Hearth and Karhold first,” Jon noted.

Lord Royce stood up before Jon had a chance to continue. “The Umbers and Karstarks betrayed the North, their castles should be torn down.”

“Their castles have stood for at least a thousand years,” I reminded him, shooting him a scalding look. “We will do no such thing.” I didn’t much appreciate Southerners meddling in Northern affairs. The surly man dropped back into his seat like a pouting child.

“We should redistribute theirs lands to loyal men who fought for us,” Sansa suggested. The other Northerns let their approval be known by banging on the table. Lord Royce let his disapproval of their behavior be known with a sour expression.

“The Umbers and the Karstarks have fought beside the Starks for generations,” Jon said, glancing down. “They’ve kept faith generation after generation.”

“And then they broke faith!” Sansa interjected. Both of them looked to me for help. I slid further down into my seat, not wanting to get between them.

“I won’t strip these families of their ancestral homes,” Jon told her with a sigh. “I won’t punish sons for the sins of their fathers.”

I glanced up at him, the words striking a chord. We both knew what it was like to carry the black spot of our family history. Sansa did have a point; loyalty was paramount in a world such as this. But we couldn’t build a new world if we continued to dwell in the old one.

“Lord Karstark and Lord Umber died on the battlefield. They will answer to the Gods for their crimes.” I stood, looking out over the room, finding Alys Karstark among the men. Her hair was almost the same shade as Sansa’s, but the similarities stopped there. “Alys? Step forward, please.” She stood, nervous. I ignored Sansa’s pointed look.

I’d known Alys’ grandfather once; I’d watched his execution in Riverrun. She looked nothing like him, but she had his sense of pride. Her eyes betrayed her fear, but still she carried herself with dignity and poise. “I’ve known you since you were a girl. Your family was once loyal to ours. The fact that you’re here today suggests you’re interested in forging that bond again. Am I correct?”

“If you’d take us back, it would be my honor, your grace,” she said, curtseying slightly. I glanced over at Jon and nodded.

“Ned Umber?” Jon called. The small boy joined Alys. He reminded me of Rickon, both of them had wide curious eyes. “Our families have fought side by side for centuries. I ask you to once again pledge your loyalty to House Stark. Serve as our bannermen, and come to our aid whenever called upon.” Alys was the first to draw her sword and bend the knee, and Ned followed her lead. “The North needs to band together if we are to face what lies ahead. Will you stand beside me Ned and Alys, now and always?”

“Now and always,” they repeated. The other Northern Lords banged on the table again and cheered. Alys smiled with relief at being accepted back so heartily. I cast a look down at Sansa. Her face had softened, though she still wasn’t thrilled. I dropped a hand to her shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“Let’s break, shall we? Anything else can be discussed individually, I’m sure.” I hardly waited for a response from the others before tugging Sansa and Jon outside. I pulled them up to the walk where we had some privacy. “I understand you have opinions, but you must learn when it is appropriate to share them,” I whispered. “We can’t undermine each other like that.”

“I have as much a right to speak my mind as everyone else in that room,” Sansa noted. “I am the Lady of Winterfell now.”

We drew to a stop overlooking the courtyard below. I kept my arms linked through both of theirs, as if I needed to hold them back from tearing each other apart. “Of course you do,” Jon said, shaking his head. “But we need to present a united front. None of us is secure in our position, if we step on each other’s toes we make ourselves look weak.”

I glanced over, paling a little. “I’m sorry if you felt like I was stepping on your toes. I was only trying to manage the situation.”

“No, Ami, it’s alright. They still see you as the Queen in the North,” he said with a sad smile. “Of course they do, you left an impression.”

“Doesn’t hurt that you’re practically the Queen in the North  _again_ ,” Sansa muttered. I rolled my head from one shoulder to the other to give her a look. She shrugged. “What? It’s true.” I let out a tiny exasperated breath and refused to look back at Jon. Sansa smiled and shook her head. “You’re good at this, you both are.”

“At what?” Jon asked.

She raised an eyebrow. “At ruling.”

Jon sighed. “No.” I shoved him with my shoulder and tilted my head to look up at him. “You know what you’re doing, I don’t. I’m bumbling through things and hoping I make the right decisions.”

I raised an eyebrow. “I’m doing the exact same thing, as is my sister. I doubt there’s ever been a single ruler who knew exactly what they were doing. I’ve had more practice at making it look effortless, that’s all.” I thought about how long it had taken me to find my feet after the Red Wedding. I’d been so confident in my own abilities to negotiate; yet I hadn’t seen the trap right in front of me. I’d made my fair share of poor decisions; some of them had gotten people killed.

“They respect you, they trust you,” Sansa said, looking between us. “But we need to trust each other. Three heads are better than one. We have a chance to do something that father never could, that Robb never could. But we have to be smarter than them.”

The Maester interrupted us from our discussion. “A raven from King’s Landing, your grace.” I let go of Jon’s arm so he could take the paper.

The three of us headed further out along the walk as Jon unrolled the message. He scoffed and I raised an eyebrow. “Cersei of House Lannister, first of her name, Queen of the Andals and the First Men, protector of the Seven Kingdoms-“

“Three kingdoms at best.” I shook my head. “What does she want?”

“For us to come to King’s Landing and bend the knee.” I held out my hand and he put the paper in it. I was addressed as Amina Stark. Of course she’d continue to deny I was a Targaryen, despite the rumors that had spread since I left Dorne.

“As much as I’d love a reunion, we’re rather occupied at the moment,” I said with a shrug. “I suppose she’ll have to send someone to kill us instead.”

“How can you be so glib?” Sansa asked, pulling her arm from mine. “You know what she’s capable of, you know the lengths she’ll go through.”

I shook my head, glancing out over the snowy hillside. “Cersei Lannister doesn’t scare me. She may be good at getting what she wants, but so am I. The difference is, I don’t mind getting my own hands dirty to do it.”

“The Lannister army would never come this far north,” Jon added. “As long as winter lasts, we might as well have another Wall between here and King’s Landing.”

My mind drifted to Jaime in shiny red armor leading the Lannister forces. I hated the idea. He’d never wanted to be his father. At least that’s what he said a dozen times while we were wine-drunk in King’s Landing. The thought of Cersei turning him into someone he didn’t want to be made me angry. But he was a grown man, and he’d made his own decisions. If he wanted to let his sister push him around, that was his choice. I’d offered him an out and he hadn’t taken it. I couldn’t worry about him anymore.

“We’re safe for now. I’d be more worried about the snakes in our own grass.” I turned to look across the courtyard where Littlefinger was watching us.

“I’ll handle Lord Baelish,” Sansa said, shaking her head. “You two worry about winning the war.”


End file.
